Brides-to-be should read this (very long). Meaningful passage.
Remeber you are all planning a 'day' to spend the 'rest of your lives' with a person. make sure it's what you want.
SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP
by Reverend Ronald McFadden
If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are
married,
share it with your spouse or other married couples . . . and reflect on
it.
An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes
open, and
after you marry, close one eye.' Before you get involved and make a
commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance,
pressure from others or a low-self esteem make you blind to warning
signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change
someone or
that what you see as faults aren't really that important. Once you
decide
to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerability's, pet
peeves,
and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and
want
the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn how to close
one
eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have
many
different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses,
and
strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have
decided to
share a life together. Neither one of you are perfect, but are you
perfect
for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you
compliment
and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and
control?
What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships,
past
hurt, past mistrust, past pain. You can't take someone to the altar to
alter
him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If
you
develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life,' you won't
find
yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or
responsible
for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and
selfishness
are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting
relationship. Seeking status, sex, wealth and security are the wrong
reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?
Communication, Intimacy, Trust, A sense of humor, Sharing household
tasks,
Some getaway time without business or children. Daily exchanges (a
meal,
shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message
on
their voicemail or send a nice email. Sharing common goals and
interests.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving
each
other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have
outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a
sense of
belonging and assurances of. Don't try to control one another. Learn
each
other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.
Don't put
pressure on each other for material goods. Remember, for Richer or for
Poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as
resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace
the
passion. 'Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go
any
higher than you think.'
SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP
by Reverend Ronald McFadden
If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are
married,
share it with your spouse or other married couples . . . and reflect on
it.
An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes
open, and
after you marry, close one eye.' Before you get involved and make a
commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance,
pressure from others or a low-self esteem make you blind to warning
signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change
someone or
that what you see as faults aren't really that important. Once you
decide
to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerability's, pet
peeves,
and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and
want
the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn how to close
one
eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have
many
different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses,
and
strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have
decided to
share a life together. Neither one of you are perfect, but are you
perfect
for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you
compliment
and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and
control?
What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships,
past
hurt, past mistrust, past pain. You can't take someone to the altar to
alter
him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If
you
develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life,' you won't
find
yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or
responsible
for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and
selfishness
are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting
relationship. Seeking status, sex, wealth and security are the wrong
reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?
Communication, Intimacy, Trust, A sense of humor, Sharing household
tasks,
Some getaway time without business or children. Daily exchanges (a
meal,
shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message
on
their voicemail or send a nice email. Sharing common goals and
interests.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving
each
other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have
outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a
sense of
belonging and assurances of. Don't try to control one another. Learn
each
other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.
Don't put
pressure on each other for material goods. Remember, for Richer or for
Poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as
resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace
the
passion. 'Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go
any
higher than you think.'
