So FH's step-brother got married a year and a 1/2 ago and we were both in the wedding party. We had a great relationship with his brother and his wife - we spent a ton of money on them...and now it's our turn to get married. But the thing is we don't have the same relationship with them anymore...they never call but when we see them in person I love them all over again. Plus they had a baby so they don't really talk to us anymore except for family functions. SO now my question is: Do you think we need to ask them being that we were in their wedding? It is his step-brother and FH said it makes no difference to him he is leaving the decision up to me...if we ask his brother I have to ask his wife too? Should I just suck it up and ask so there is no hard feelings?
If I do ask I don't want it to be like...We will talk when it's time to go get dresses and tuxes and that's it....I really don't feel like dealing with the extra drama? Any advice?
Also the step-brother and wife had a little girl who they think is being the flower girl...but we ARE NOT having kids at the wedding it's a Sunday night...so how do I work around that to...they can be in the wedding but there is going to be no kids?
grrrrr..please help ladies sorry so long, just dont know how to handle this one...because now they are starting to ask who the bridal party it and we have already officially asked our siblings but we were undecided with them...
Sorry so Long!
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
seems like everyone is having some type of issue as to whether they should ask someone who might think theyre in the party already....
Think it over. Remember, its your wedding. You dont have to ask everyone you think might want to be in it. Its a tough call. A few of us are going thru this-including myself!
Irishny8
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Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
Everybody keeps telling me that you DON'T have to invite people to be in your wedding party just b/c you were in theres. but i know you feel obligated b/c i'm in that boat too. do you think they want to be in your wedding party? with a baby that would be a lot of money for both of them to be in it. do yout hink that if you dont have them in it there will be fighting especially if you are having other siblings? maybe just have the step brother?
MrsDrinkh20
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Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
So its totally your call..you should have who YOU and FH want in thebridal party...
If it were me, I would ask I think. Even though you dont have the same type of relationship as you did, they are family and you shared their special day and I think they would be hurt if they dont get to be a part of yours. Maybe it will be a good chance for you guys to get closer again...does that make sense?
Ultimately, you have to do what will make you guys happy...but this is how i would prob handle it.
tinadansr
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Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
JMO- But I wouldnt I would have FH have his stepbrother in if he wanted but if you are not close to the wife anymore that position can be filled by someone who you may feel can do a better job of emotionally supporting you.
Your other dilemma about hte flower girl typically even if you don't have kids at the wedding ...........the flower girl and ring bearer are usually there. ( from experice FH's cousin got married and it was a no kid reception! However the parents of the ring bearer and flower girl were in an uproar right before the reception that there kids could not come, they ended up conceding and they sat with their parents all night) I guess you could say something to their parents that they can come to the church and not the reception bu tthat would make me uncomfortable!
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HTH Good Luck
AntNick1101
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Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
Posted by DonnaPWhite1124
seems like everyone is having some type of issue as to whether they should ask someone who might think theyre in the party already....
Think it over. Remember, its your wedding. You dont have to ask everyone you think might want to be in it. Its a tough call. A few of us are going thru this-including myself!
reasons like this eloping is looking better and better to me!!
MegBert
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Member since
Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
Posted by AntNick1101
Posted by DonnaPWhite1124
seems like everyone is having some type of issue as to whether they should ask someone who might think theyre in the party already....
Think it over. Remember, its your wedding. You dont have to ask everyone you think might want to be in it. Its a tough call. A few of us are going thru this-including myself!
reasons like this eloping is looking better and better to me!!
me too me too
AntNick1101
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
Posted by MegBert
Posted by AntNick1101
Posted by DonnaPWhite1124
seems like everyone is having some type of issue as to whether they should ask someone who might think theyre in the party already....
Think it over. Remember, its your wedding. You dont have to ask everyone you think might want to be in it. Its a tough call. A few of us are going thru this-including myself!
reasons like this eloping is looking better and better to me!!
me too me too
I swear their are conflicts coming up because people are so thick headed and narrow minded, I don't want the BS and it seems so peaceful!!!!!!
MegBert
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Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
The problem is that now a day...weddings are no longer about the bride and groom, its about everyone else and what they want
AntNick1101
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Member since
Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
Posted by MegBert
The problem is that now a day...weddings are no longer about the bride and groom, its about everyone else and what they want
I hate that with a passion. if someone asks me why I don't have a certain thing I'm going to telling them to reach in their pockets and buy it if it's so important
Ann 52409
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Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
It;s totally what you feel comfortable with but, if I were you I would ask but, at the same time make it clear that you dont want any kids at the wedding. I suggest including them but, dont budge on the no kids issue
MegBert
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Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
Posted by AntNick1101
Posted by MegBert
The problem is that now a day...weddings are no longer about the bride and groom, its about everyone else and what they want
I hate that with a passion. if someone asks me why I don't have a certain thing I'm going to telling them to reach in their pockets and buy it if it's so important
I think the best was we werent even engaged yet and my sister goes 'if Rob needs extra groomsmen he can ask Jose' I was like uhhh no (NEWS FLASH) WE DONT LIKE HIM
AntNick1101
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
Posted by MegBert
Posted by AntNick1101
Posted by MegBert
The problem is that now a day...weddings are no longer about the bride and groom, its about everyone else and what they want
I hate that with a passion. if someone asks me why I don't have a certain thing I'm going to telling them to reach in their pockets and buy it if it's so important
I think the best was we werent even engaged yet and my sister goes 'if Rob needs extra groomsmen he can ask Jose' I was like uhhh no (NEWS FLASH) WE DONT LIKE HIM
she get's credit for trying. .
mdawg
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
Posted by MegBert
The problem is that now a day...weddings are no longer about the bride and groom, its about everyone else and what they want
i agree.... to hell with 'etiquette'... if you dont want them in the wedding party, then dont have em!
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: Bridesmaid Advice To ask or not to ask?
I didnt read through this thread so I'm just replying to the original question...
Although you may feel obligated to put them in the bridal party, you by no means have to at all!! We are not having FH's bro and sis in the wedding (although Fh was in theirs), but I am including their kids.. We are having just friends with the exclusion of my cousin!
As for the kid situation, just tell them its an adult reception and you're not having lil ones in any of it.. Keep it plain and simple.. No need for explanations
