bridesmaid dilemma

brookelovesjimbo Posted: Aug 21, 2008 09:58 AM

bridesmaid dilemma

when FH first proposed i was all super excited and i asked two of my close friends to be my bridesmaids. the only problem now is i decided that i only want 2 MOH's and no bridesmaids. how do i tell my friends that they can't be in the bridal party without sounding rude or hurting their feelings?

Kelly1015 Posted: Aug 21, 2008 10:01 AM

Re: bridesmaid dilemma

thats a tough one!!! i had the same problem with one of my girls. I just told her i really want you to be in the wedding but if the cost is to overwhelming then i will deff. understand...she actually thanked me b/c she was thinking that and didnt know how to tell me!! so if you know she is having money issues then just use that as a way out...hope i helped a little!!

flairforfashion Posted: Aug 21, 2008 10:02 AM

Re: bridesmaid dilemma

Um, I don't think you can do that without hurting their feelings. Once you ask, they are in. They will absolutely take it personally if you can them.

Brendanzgirl Posted: Aug 21, 2008 10:07 AM

Re: bridesmaid dilemma

Yeah I think we've all been there
some people just feel bad and invite everyone
some people only invite a selecte few and dont talk about it with anyone else.

I just invited family even though it was hard for me b/c I have great friends that I would want in it. BUt if I invited them then I'd have to invite the girls who had me in theirs too and then I'd have to invite...
It just kept going
So I kept it simple

Maybe if you don't talk about it with anyone else they wont feel bad. They shouldn't feel like they expect to be in it unless you've already said something...

EsquireBride Posted: Aug 21, 2008 10:16 AM

Re: bridesmaid dilemma

If you take away their jobs, at least try to give them new ones -- like making a speech, or doing something else really important to be there for you.

TheLadyJ Posted: Aug 21, 2008 10:25 AM

Re: bridesmaid dilemma

Posted by EsquireBride

If you take away their jobs, at least try to give them new ones -- like making a speech, or doing something else really important to be there for you.

I agree. If they are your true friends they will understand that you have changed your mind. But you can still make them part of your day in a special way. You can make them readers, or have them hand our programs (and mention them in the programs).

I don't know what kind of people your friends are, but if I was in their shoes, yes I would be disappointed for a minute. But then I would understand that you changed your mind, and it is YOUR wedding and YOUR choice.

FutureMrsG Posted: Aug 21, 2008 10:59 AM

Re: bridesmaid dilemma

I think not matter what you say there are going to be some hurt feelings.

krislee316 Posted: Aug 21, 2008 11:01 AM

Re: bridesmaid dilemma

Posted by FutureMrsG

I think not matter what you say there are going to be some hurt feelings.

I agree I think u should leave well enough alone otherwise ther will be drama and who wants drama???

littlepixie12 Posted: Aug 21, 2008 11:06 AM

Re: bridesmaid dilemma

Posted by flairforfashion

Um, I don't think you can do that without hurting their feelings. Once you ask, they are in. They will absolutely take it personally if you can them.

I agree I think they might take it personally, although since you arent adding and more BMs only having MOH that may help but they may feel like they did something wrong.

Why dont you want any BMs?

brookelovesjimbo Posted: Aug 21, 2008 11:23 AM

Re: bridesmaid dilemma

Posted by littlepixie12

Posted by flairforfashion

Um, I don't think you can do that without hurting their feelings. Once you ask, they are in. They will absolutely take it personally if you can them.

I agree I think they might take it personally, although since you arent adding and more BMs only having MOH that may help but they may feel like they did something wrong.

Why dont you want any BMs?

i have about 8 friends that are equally close to me, so if i have one of them i have to have all of them, and i can't have 8 bridemaids. you know? and if i have some and not others, more than a few people will be offended. so i just think its all together easier to just have my sister and my best friend as my two MOHs

i feel really bad, i've known these two girls since i was 14. but, i just can't have so many people in my bridal party.

ttdiff11 Posted: Aug 21, 2008 11:30 AM

Re: bridesmaid dilemma

i just put everyone that i love lol, literally, i have 12 girls in it haha. my fh has 9 but i have 2 moh's so its sorta balanced lol.

but if i asked someone to come out of it, they would be very upset. unless u explain but they are all prob excited

JamieAnt06202009 Posted: Aug 21, 2008 01:07 PM

Re: bridesmaid dilemma

Ohhhh that's a tough one. I think there are definitely going to be some hard feelings. You should tell them how you feel. There are still ways to include them...you can have them assist people to their seats at your ceremony and hand out programs. I think they should be ok if your still including them in something.