Ok ladies, I'm thinking this has probably been discussed before, but I was just on the phone with one of my bridesmaids and she hinted that I pay for the dresses, by telling me how her sister paid for all her BM's dresses and alterations!!!! I felt so guilty, and didn't say anything. I was not planning on paying for theirs as I have 5 of them, and thought that the custom is the BM's pay for it. Ok, I'm sure you got my point, so please help!!!!
Thanks ladies
kris15198
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
I would just tell her that you are not able to pay for the dresses.
cmc
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
I've always had to pay for the dress when I was in a wedding. I would just tell her that you are not able to pay for the dresses. Also, there is a cost to a person when they accept to be in a bridal party. You may want to tell her that you understand it is a financial burden to be in a BP and give her an out if she's concerned about that.
Katie&Chris2006
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
I've been in 8 weddings and have always paid for my dress. I know in certain cultures it is customary, so perhaps she is used to something different? I would just be honest about it, and then try to be cautious when picking out a gown that is reasonble in price.
pameladhd
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
I was just in a wedding in October and I paid for my own bridesmaid dress. I would just tell her that you cant pay for five bridesmaid dresses.
Tria1110
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
It is customary for the bridesmaids to pay for their dresses and I think most girls know this. If it comes up again I would probably say something like 'Wow, that was great that your sister did that however I have something else in mind in terms of a gift for my BM's.'
Good Luck!
jenn122397
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
i have never heard of a bride paying for the BM dresses.
tricia3381
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
Posted by Tria1110
It is customary for the bridesmaids to pay for their dresses and I think most girls know this. If it comes up again I would probably say something like 'Wow, that was great that your sister did that however I have something else in mind in terms of a gift for my BM's.'
Good Luck!
great idea!!
SoontobeMrsH
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
I've always had to buy my on dress explain, that different couples have different financial situations, and you & FH don't have your BP's attire in your budget
lhuqueen
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
Thanks ladies, it's making me feel better. Don't you guys hate when things like this come up, instead of more pleasant issues. It makes you feel so guilty!!!!
jaiese
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
Posted by lhuqueen
Thanks ladies, it's making me feel better. Don't you guys hate when things like this come up, instead of more pleasant issues. It makes you feel so guilty!!!!
It's hard b/c you don't want to offend anyone or hurt their feelings, but you're definitely not wrong. So, knowing that, you should be comfortable to explain the situation to your BM. Good luck!
iffy
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
my friend/bm mentioned to me that when she got married, she bought all of the bm dresses....my reply was, 'wow - that was sure nice of yu...I wish I could afford to do that!'
7 bm's gowns+ my daughter's gown + my son's tux + my dress = = no freaking way!!!!
Mooshyboo
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
I have been a BM and a MOH several times and I have always paid for my own dress... although it is a nice jesture if one can afford it (I have 1 moh and 6 bm and unfortunately I am not able to do so) she should understand if you cannot pay for the dresses. good luck!
dplehat
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
I have been in 3 weddings and each time paid for my own dress. All my bm's are paying for their dresses. Don't feel guilty. As pp said when you accept being a bm then you accept the finacial responsibilities that come with it.
Pencils
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
It's lovely if you can pay for the dresses, or part of the cost, or for something else like shoes or hair. But, and this is a big 'but,' bridesmaids traditionally pay for their own attire, and when your bridesmaids accepted, they should have understood that. I think that you should, however, take your BM's financial situations in consideration when you're choosing a dress--if they're not wealthy, you should choose a cheaper option, or you could quietly offer to help out the ones who need it with the cost of the dress if you have your heart set on something expensive. It's not cheap to be a bridesmaid: the dress, the shoes, the shower, the gifts, the bachelorette party, possibly travel--it can really add up, so it's nice to think about these things beforehand. That said, it's not your responsibility to pay for the BM's dresses, and if your BM can't afford it and you can't afford to help out, it would be kind to offer to let her bow out with no hard feelings.
tara08
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
I have been in a ton of weddings and have always paid for my own dress. I wish i could pay for all my bm's dresses... but i definitely cant afford. As a thank you I was going to see if i can afford to have someone come to my house and do everyones make up.. plus their bm gift. My cousin is my moh, and her two sons are my ring bearers and i did offer to pay for her sons tuxes because thats a lot for one person to pay for...other than that.. my bp are on their own...
PegaLega
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Re: Bridesmaid dress dilema. Help!!!`
It is the norm for them to pay for their own dress. I would not cave on that b/c it can get pretty pricey. Maybe she was willing to spend the money on her girls but I would nicely say-when you get measured they require a xx deposit and the balance isnt due until the dress comes in-is that ok with you?
