I have 4 bridesmaids - 3 friends and 1 cousin. Two of the friends have model figures, while 1 (the moh) doesnt. The cousin is also considerably younger than the friends (by about 10-15 years). My Aunt had asked me to consider choosing a dress that my cousin would also be able to wear again for her prom in the spring. I was all set on originally picking the designer, color and length and having the girls choose their own dress - then i ran into the following issues...
1 - what happens if, say one wants a ballgown while someone else chooses mermaid and another chooses a-line. awkward... i could also choose the style...but at this point, whats the point of letting them pick the dress if im already choosing the designer, color and length?
2 - my mom confided in me that my cousin feels a little out of place since the other girls are so much older and would prefer to wear the same thing as them - so as not to stand out as much. i thought by letting them choose the dress, everyone would feel more comfortable. especially when paying for it themselves!
at this point, do i just choose a single dress for the 2 friends/cousin and a different dress for the moh? i wish that i could just let them choose but neither option seems like it will please everyone. what has everyone else done?
also, does anyone if you can order a fall season dress in the springtime? how does that work?
rdhbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: bridesmaid dresses - to choose or not to choose?
Isn't it crazy how it seems as though picking out BM dresses are way more difficult than your wedding dress?
Anyway, what I did was...I chose the color, material, and length of the dress and told the girls to go to the J. Crew website and pick one of the 9 bridesmaid dresses available in my material, color and length. They have lots of options and I'm sure they will each find something they like and can wear again. HTH!
chilly313
Posted:
Member since
Re: bridesmaid dresses - to choose or not to choose?
It really can get crazy! I have the same - 4 BMs in total. I told them I would pick the color and fabric and they could pick any dress they wanted - but either they all had to be different, 3 BMs the same and MOH different, or all the same. Of course, the MOH and 2 BMs wanted the same dress and the other BM didn't. It was a nightmare. Luckily, when the one BM who didn't originally like the dress went back to try it on again, she wound up liking it. But they all have different body types, so I never thought they would all pick the same dress! Go figure. Good luck - it's definitely not easy!
pjc92980
Posted:
Member since
Re: bridesmaid dresses - to choose or not to choose?
i think you should stick with your original plan...pick a color, length and fabric...but also pick a designer!!! from what i have seen, the designers dont carry such a large range (you wont see one that has a mermaid cut AND a ballgown)...this way they have the option but they are also limited so that they dont look completely awkward.
this is what i did and my girls look great!
LMEL1223
Posted:
Member since
Re: bridesmaid dresses - to choose or not to choose?
i picked out my bridesmaid dresses , i really didnt give my girls much of a choice and I swear it was the smartest thing. We got them a few months ago and they are still thanking me for making the process drama free. too many personalities and styles can make a big mess.
Irishbride16
Posted:
Member since
Re: bridesmaid dresses - to choose or not to choose?
What i m doing is picking the color and material too and I'm going to the bridal store with them in the fall to see what everyone likes its better if u do it that way
oct13bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: bridesmaid dresses - to choose or not to choose?
I am giving my bridal party the option of picking their own dresses. I have a small BP my MOH & only two BMs but they are shaped very differently & don't want any of them to feel uncomfortable. My only thing that I must get to pick is the color-in the purple family & material of dresses have to match. I am going to have them go to David's Bridal since one of the girls is in Florida & won't be able to come up just for dress shopping. I am planning on going shopping with MOH first & she gets to choose her dress first ( she has been doing alot already for me she deserves it) & the other two girls will get to choose after she does. Figure that way I can determine if MOH will have different color then bridesmaids & what material all the dresses will be.
soon2beMrsHenry92912
Posted:
Member since
Re: bridesmaid dresses - to choose or not to choose?
Here are my suggestions, and good thing, time is on your side! You could have your girls order your dress by next May and you would still be okay as far as time goes. You can order any BM dress from a designer, it doesn't matter what season it came out it, just as long as it is current. Here are my suggestions:
- Take your MOH and your cousin BM shopping, probably seperate, since these are your concerns, and pick a dress that you like and works well for them and have your other BM wear that dress.
-Pick a designer, a fabric, length and color and select the dresses that you like and have your BM pick from them.
- Have your MOH pick her dress and then pick a similar dress style for your BMs.
For all the weddings I've been in, most of the time the dress was picked for us. One wedding we all went to try dresses on together, and then selected a style we all liked. Another wedding, I was MOH for, the Bride had me try on all the dresses she liked then had each BM try them on as well and eliminated them as she didn't like how they looked on the other girls.
It is your wedding and your girls agreed to be your attendants, so don't feel bad if you can't please everyone, just worry about pleasing yourself! HTH
SoonToBeEMM
Posted:
Member since
Re: bridesmaid dresses - to choose or not to choose?
i think if you pick out the color and material and let them choose the style of the dress. I think it would look nice even if one picks a A line and one picks a mermaid. I like that kind of look.
ewecki825
Posted:
Member since
Re: bridesmaid dresses - to choose or not to choose?
I would pick a dress for the bridesmaids and then pick a different one for the MOH.
BellaRegina
Posted:
Member since
Re: bridesmaid dresses - to choose or not to choose?
The only person who should be 'made happy' is you....its your day! BMs say yes with the understanding that they will be paying for things, including their dress. To save myself drama, i'm picking out the dress and not having my girl have any input. If that makes me a bridezilla...oh well!
As for your cousin, you can either get something 'juior BMish'...or jsut have her match the BMs exactly. I personally like the MOH to match, but not have the exact dress.
Just IMO. Good luck
ourwedding9510
Posted:
Member since
Re: bridesmaid dresses - to choose or not to choose?
I did the different dresses for the bridal party and it worked out GREAT! I told them the fabric and the color and then actually picked the designer.
I was worried that the girls wouldn't look the same but I bought them earrings and necklaces for the day of, had them wear their hair half up and half down, and they all had the flowers to hold walking down the aisle. Your cousin might actually like this better because at the wedding they looked liked bridal party members but didn't stick out as much with wearing all the same dress.
You can't please everyone, trust me! If you try, you will suffer headaches and frustrations. Do what you want and try to get everyone on board.
I would say that you should bring all the girls together. I'm sure the 3 friends will make sure to find similar styles of dresses. My MOH had a mermaid but that is it and it wasn't drastic so you couldn't really tell and looked great! Heres a picture...
Re: bridesmaid dresses - to choose or not to choose?
Posted by LMEL1223
i picked out my bridesmaid dresses , i really didnt give my girls much of a choice and I swear it was the smartest thing. We got them a few months ago and they are still thanking me for making the process drama free. too many personalities and styles can make a big mess.
