I haven't asked anything of my bridesmaids and just had my shower last weekend and only 2 were helpful. The others just sat there...Now i feel like I need to have them help to make myself feel better for asking them. It is so true what they say about finding out who your true friends are. Does anyone have a list of responsibilites you are asking of your bridesmaids?
smrsun
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Re: BRIDESMAID RESPONSIBILITIES
I know exactly how you feel! I have been having issues with FH's SIL. I actually just sent her an email the other day venting how I feel. So then FSIL comes over as like a mediator yesterday. I have to call FH's SIL later. Im sick of emailing back and forth because FSIL came over knowing the whole convo which I do not appreciate.
So i def know how you feel and it is such a tough situation to handle. You can either speak your mind..if that is what makes you feel better, or hold it in and suck it up. But I personally have to speak my mind..even if it causes issues..otherwise I will have too much anxiety and stress.
Feel better I am here if you need to vent, since I am dealing with stuff like this too
doreen82
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Re: BRIDESMAID RESPONSIBILITIES
i am not giving them any responsibilities. Any help they can give is greatly appreciated. I dont want to be bridezilla. haha
I have 2 sister in which one is the maitron of honor and the other maid of honor. They are really my go to girls. They arent asking for help but I know all my friends are all willing to pitch in.
Good luck with eveyrthing. Dont get too stressed out.
amanda24
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Re: BRIDESMAID RESPONSIBILITIES
It just ***** because I'm usually the responsible helper and I haven't gotten anything back. My mother planned the whole shower. To make things worse, I didn't even get a card or a gift from my mother in law. hope that doesn't sound snotty, but aren't they supposed to make you feel special that day other than your own mother/bridal party?
meara
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Re: BRIDESMAID RESPONSIBILITIES
I think a lot of people just don't have any idea what the responsibilities are too and everyone will have different interest/availability anyway. . like my sis is one of my BMs but had a baby two weeks ago so I literally expect nothing from her. have another out of town who is planning his own wedding three weeks before mine so don't expect anything from him either. . I'm not saying it's easy and I totally relate with the feeling of dissapointment esp when you are always the giver/planner for others. . just try not to take it persona and don't be afraid to ask for what you need!
coldasice217
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Re: BRIDESMAID RESPONSIBILITIES
My BMs don't really have any real responsibilities, because my mother is paying for my shower and feels guilty to ask them for anything Kind of pisses me off, because she has mentioned things like not getting favors or CPs because she can't afford any more, yet god forbid she should ask 6 girls to split the cost? I don't understand.
So from what I understand now, she's giving them the responsibility of favors and CPs and games, and I know my one friend has been in contact with my sisters for the bachelorette party, and FSIL and cousin are younger so they're obviously not going to do anything, and my other friend is just not contributing or participating at all, so I'm annoyed.
AFutureBride
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Re: BRIDESMAID RESPONSIBILITIES
I dont think being a BM means you have to do certain things that are on a list somwhere. Especially in todays society when people have a million tasks to juggle in their own personal lives, why should I add to their load because of MY wedding..? If I want things done a certain way I'll get it done myself because it's important to me.
They are suppossed to share in your special day and feel honored that they were chosen to do so. I would never say you have to do x, y, z in order to be a great bridesmaid. If they are willing to help then all the better because it helps you out.
Thats just my 2 cents on the subject. And I do not think this is a way of telling who your true friends are...
9509Bride
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Re: BRIDESMAID RESPONSIBILITIES
My List
1) host/ help pay for the shower 2) show up and look pretty 3) Help when needed the day of
I did many of the things a bride would typically do with her BP alone ( ie: dress shopping, registering etc) all but 1 live OOT so I can only ask so much of them.
stephlovesseyi
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Re: BRIDESMAID RESPONSIBILITIES
Its very true honey! I have found out some amazing stuff during this whole process. I have truly found out who my real friends are during this entire process... Its a sad, but a true fact!!!
ETA; Before the girls ordered their dresses, my planner sent out a list of responsibilities to everyone in the bridal party. I thought that was a great idea and it would keep everyone one the same page. FH was just telling me last night that the BM was quoting from it stating that he will do all the calling to make sure that all the GMs have gotten their tuxes ordered.
It may be too late for you to do that, but maybe your BMs will surprise you in the end.
Celeste617
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Re: BRIDESMAID RESPONSIBILITIES
Posted by 9509Bride
My List
1) host/ help pay for the shower 2) show up and look pretty 3) Help when needed the day of
I did many of the things a bride would typically do with her BP alone ( ie: dress shopping, registering etc) all but 1 live OOT so I can only ask so much of them.
Same here! Don't forget the bachelorette party But other than that stuff, I've been doing everything mostly on my own. I just happen to be one of those people that prefer to do things myself than ask for help - I really should get over this!