To make a long story short I have known these 3 girls since the 6th grade.... lets pretend there names are Sarah, Melissa, and Suzy. Now, after college we have all grown apart and they have different moral beliefs. We used to call each other the four best friends and we always planned to be in each others wedding. I dont really trust them anymore because they talk my personal business behind my back. sarah and i speak on the phone once a week, Melissa and I text message once a month and I dont speak to Suzy at all. We all meet up for girls night about every second or third month but, after that there isn't much comunication until we meet again. Sarah is getting married next year and we are all in her wedding. Since we were growing up we all planned on putting each other in the our weddings. At my engagment party a couple of weeks ago Melissa and Suzy were the only people who didn't bring anything... not even a card. At Sarah's engagment party Melissa gave her a card and Suzy gave her a card with 100.00. I have grown apart from them but, still feel obligated. they talk about my wedding now by making comments about what dress I'm going to put them in or what shoes I'm going to have them wear. FH and family does not think these girls should be in my wedding only Sarah. My family thinks that they are jealous of me and that Melissa has a crush on FH because when we went away there was 15 of us and she would only drink out of my FH glass and she seemed very flirty when she gets drunk. I dont know what to do I'm torn because even though we are not that close i think they would feel offended if i put Sarah but, not the other two. What would you do??
mdawg
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
i would say that sarah was the only one who really acknowledged the engagement.... shes the one you speak with most frequently, and suzy sounds like she's a wretched BlTCH!
however, this could cause tension later on down the road. I think out of the three of them, Sarah should be the only one in your bridal party. She is putting you in hers, and she has been the one to show respect.
At this point, you shouldn't care how the other girls feel since they didn't even get you a card, and because they talk crap behind your back. Do you really want to look back at your wedding photos and say 'ugh i really didnt want these girls there, but at the time, i felt obligated.'? No, you probably dont..
so i think the bridal party needs to be filled with people that love you and care about you, and who actually WANT to share in this day with you.
dazies1011
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
Posted by mdawg
i would say that sarah was the only one who really acknowledged the engagement.... shes the one you speak with most frequently, and suzy sounds like she's a wretched BlTCH!
however, this could cause tension later on down the road. I think out of the three of them, Sarah should be the only one in your bridal party. She is putting you in hers, and she has been the one to show respect.
At this point, you shouldn't care how the other girls feel since they didn't even get you a card, and because they talk crap behind your back. Do you really want to look back at your wedding photos and say 'ugh i really didnt want these girls there, but at the time, i felt obligated.'? No, you probably dont..
so i think the bridal party needs to be filled with people that love you and care about you, and who actually WANT to share in this day with you.
Look everyone grows apart and says things in the good old days. Screw them!!!! that was the past, this is the present and if this is they way they are treating you I wouldn't want them to ruin my day. If I had to keep an eye on them all day on my wedding I wouldn't enjoy myself, especially the flirty one, I'd be kicking her a$$!!! This is YOUR DAY and I agree with the ones that say don't have them. If they say 'Oh I thought we were in the wedding' I'd say 'I thought we were friends but, after the way you treat me I see where we all stand.' I would only have the friend that you talk with and showed that you meant something at your e-party.
lookitscassie
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
wow. i would say keep suzy in and forget the others.. :(
MrsCtobe
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
I think that you hould put Sarah in the wedding. She put you in hers and she brought a gift to your engagement party, so she is making an effort, plus you talk to her regularly. As for the other two, I'm sure thye will get upset if they are not put in as well, but if they are your true friends they will understand. Just explain to them that there is family that needs to be put in or that your FH has people he is close with who he wants in the party, etc, whatever the case may be. They should 'get' that Sarah put you in hers so you are obliged in a way to put her in yours. Tell them that even if they are not in the bridal party they are still a hugely important part of your day and you want them around. Then just hope for the best...people take bridal parties ridiculously seriouse.
mdawg
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
Posted by lookitscassie
wow. i would say keep suzy in and forget the others.. :(
i think you meant sarah :( suzy is wretched.
ellyoxox
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
i agree w/the other girls. keep sarah but the other ones don't sound like very good friends. don't put someone in your wedding party just because you think they might be offended. you can't please everyone all the time. do what makes you happy.
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
I too agree with the other girls... Years ago I thought about this and the people in my life that were contributing nothing to our friendship, I actually cut off all ties with just because I knew it would get to this point of having to decide if they were 'worthy enough' to be BM's (which they werent) They werent even worthy enough to keep a friendship with and this seems like the same position you are in.
The people that talk about you most certainly should not be in your bp. They are the ones that are going to give you the most probs when it comes down to their involvement in the wedding!!
I had an ungrateful friend (who considered herself a princess i swear) and thought everyone should do everything for her, but when it came down to asking her for a favor, she was nowhere to be found... We were friends from like 3rd grade up until about 1 1/2 yrs ago. I completely cut her out of my life b/c I knew shed assume she was in the bp and i'd 'have to' put her in and she would create all sorts of probs for me... For me, she burned our friendship a long time ago but it took yrs for me to get the ballz to confront her about it
Take another look and decide if they are worth having in your life AT ALL!
Future Mulligan
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
Posted by ellyoxox
i agree w/the other girls. keep sarah but the other ones don't sound like very good friends. don't put someone in your wedding party just because you think they might be offended. you can't please everyone all the time. do what makes you happy.
i totally agreee
tinadansr
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
Your Bridal party is supposed to be the people you want to stand up with you on your wedding day. And give you support , if they are making it all about them right now imagine that day!....Cut em girl there's better Bridesmaids out there!
MRSin2009
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
I also had those 3 other best friends growing up and we all thought we would be BEST FRIENDS FOREVER lol but I only talk to one of them now. It happens and if you only talk to one once a month through a text and the other every couple of months when you get together then I think they are not too bright if they think they will be in your wedding.
I would listen to your FH family and just have the one girl. I am sure you have other friends who you would rather have.
TommysWife08
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
08er crashing...
do whatever YOU want to do... if you want to have one, have one of them... if you dont want to have any of them - DONT!
i was in a VERY silular situation with one of my friends & i decided not to have her in it & now we dont even talk anymore... but u know what, thats not my problem!! she's obviously not the kind of friend i thought she was if she cant be an adult about everything and grow up... now im not even sure if i'm inviting her to my wedding... maybe i sound harsh about it - but thats how i feel
so you do what you want - its YOUR DAY! if you friends are true friends they will eventually get over it... of course they will be hurt about it, but like anything, it will pass
good luck!
Ann 52409
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
Thank you so much ladies for all your helpful words and advice... It's just hard because I know it will probably ruin whatever is left of our friendship and I guess that means we weren't good friends anymore anyway. I just hate hurting people but, like FH said and so did you guys I guess when I look back at my pictures years from know i would only want people who truly love me and are there for me by my side. I dont know how I'm going to tell them thats the hard part and thats why i was going to just let them be in it... but, I think it's time to face the reality of what our friendships have become
ponzita18
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
i would choose sarah the other 2 i would leave out!!
mcclj74
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
i would keep sarah - sscrew the other two witches! unreal! people grow apart and move on - i always said i would have my cousin and we grew apart and i am not having her - so i dont think you are obligated to anything
Ann 52409
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Re: Bridesmaids drama... please help
I'm procastinating.... i dont think I'm going to ask anybody until next year and I'll just let our friendship keep going the way that it is going so by next year hopefully they can understand me not putting them in. FH said to tell them that he doesnt have enough guys which is true.... so if I dont include those two i will have 1 MOH and 5BM with women that are really happy for me
