Has anyone been called a bridezilla? I just hate that term and I'm trying my best not to turn into one. So I aimed to be very laid back bride and now I'm experiencing the 'inlawzilla' for lack of a better term.
I feel like everyone is disregarding my feelings and trying to live vicariously through me. While I get their excitement, it just crosses the line. (i.e. my FMIL wants the suite i blocked at the hotel for the wedding...)
How can i tell them I want things *my* way without having them tossing the ugly b word at me? I feel like I'm about to snap and give up!
JAME0801
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
Yes and it's very annoying!! It makes you feel like you have to hold back sometimes!
We are paying for our entire wedding, so IMO, I can have it the way I want it. For example, I told my sister to get an ivory dress for my neice (FG) and she bought a white one. I was so upset but didn't want to be annoying so I didn't say anything..that is until one of my friends slapped some sense into me. I approached my sister in a gentle way and nicely asked if she could exchange it and get an ivory one (my dress is ivory BTW). She seemed annoyed at first ( time restraints, my niece hates shopping, $ etc..) but came around.
She got an ivory one and my niece actually likes it better and now everyone is happy!
madseason
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
I AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Sometimes I just want to SCREAM!!!!:
Im tired of hearing...'Why do you want that?' Or 'what about this?' I feel like Im under fire right now because a ceremony venue with a center isle is important to me, but FH church has 2 side isles, and I want a center one! I am paying for everything by MY self, yet, everyone is nitpicking at my decisions and making me justify them. Its really pissing me off!
Unless you feel like giving me a couple thousand dollars, then please lay off! Im planning this, and Im killing myself, working like crazy to pay for it. Dont question me about my reasons for wanting a bagpipe or just wanting my FH and I to dance the first dance, w/o the BP, or whether or not I want an engagement party (I DO!! But im always being told that its too much for ppl to keep giving us gifts..) JUST SAY OH GREAT!! YOURE DOING A GOOD JOB!!! This is mine and my FH wedding, yet, its like Im killing myself to please everyone else!
So, I agree... We are not bridezillas... I completely hear what you are saying
Kaytea
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
I hear ya!! I feel like everyone is offering their ideas at my expense. I'm paying for most of the stuff too. I got stuck with an really expensive flower girl dress(more expensive than a bridesmaid dress) all because I was told to help 'family' out!! and since i was picking up the tab, they didnt hesitate on getting the most expensive dress.
Kimbalina
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
Haven't been called one yet, however I keep getting asked if I will be or told that I am going to become a bridezilla. Fustrating isn't it
Kaytea
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
very frustrating, we try so hard to please other people and go crazy compromising and yet still be called a bridezilla!! it's so tough being a bride
Munchkn16
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
Posted by madseason
I AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Sometimes I just want to SCREAM!!!!:
Im tired of hearing...'Why do you want that?'
JUST SAY OH GREAT!! YOURE DOING A GOOD JOB!!! This is mine and my FH wedding, yet, its like Im killing myself to please everyone else!
So, I agree... We are not bridezillas... I completely hear what you are saying
Wow, you just said verything I've been thinking for months!! Our parents are paying for it, so they think it's their right to interrogate me about every little detail (ie: I wanted a really small e-party with just family and close friends; our parents wanted to invite everyone they knew).
I think it's hard for our parents to think of us a functioning adults. I think they still think of us as 5 year-olds in patent-leather mary janes. Hopefully they'll all get over these delusions in the near future...
TLC1018
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
OMG...I cannot even get on the topic of my FIL's....they drive me absolutely crazy!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a good thing that I love my FH so much b/c I would be outta here sooooo fast!
leenie75
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
I was called a bridezilla for the first time this past Saturday and it sucked. The worst part is I was so overwhelmed already that it didn't take much for me to get upset, grab my keys and storm out like I WAS a bridezilla....ugh...i am so ashamed! But, in my defense, my family is driving me bonkers!!!!!
PegaLega
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
Agreed! Just b/c you want things to go a certain way doesnt make you bridezilla...it makes you a perfectionist
madseason
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
Posted by TLC1018
OMG...I cannot even get on the topic of my FIL's....they drive me absolutely crazy!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a good thing that I love my FH so much b/c I would be outta here sooooo fast!
Oh yes....hence, my last post
Kaytea
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
Posted by leenie75
I was called a bridezilla for the first time this past Saturday and it sucked. The worst part is I was so overwhelmed already that it didn't take much for me to get upset, grab my keys and storm out like I WAS a bridezilla....ugh...i am so ashamed! But, in my defense, my family is driving me bonkers!!!!!
I get like that too! I get so upset.. it's not fair, there's gotta be a term just as bad as bridezilla to describe all the annoying ppl that drives us nuts!
Kaytea
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
Posted by PegaLega
Agreed! Just b/c you want things to go a certain way doesnt make you bridezilla...it makes you a perfectionist
a perfectionist! that's a much better sounding word!
eelharas4700
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
i could not agree with you more. my fsil usually uses it towards me. and then it makes me have a mini bridezilla moment trying to justify all the reasons i am NOT a bridezilla! its like the smallest opinion you have means you are suddenly a 'bridezilla'! they just dont get it do they?
mao0426
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
I know that it is a horrible term and can be quite offensive but, in our defense...we DESERVE to act this way. Not for nothing but as many of you have already stated, you are paying for it on your own...its your day--along with FH--and you deserve to have everything you want and have it be everything you have ever dreamed of...how many times are you planning to get married? I am sure only once and therefore should have free range to do whatever you want...of course screaming and yelling is not acceptable but there is nothing wrong with being sure of what you want...I have been called a bridezilla since i got engaged...yeah it sux but whatever in the end ill actually enjoy my wedding
JeanetteandSteve
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
i don't think you should let other people stress you. from now on, any time someone makes a suggestion, just say something like, 'yeah, i'll think about that!!' in a really cheery tone, and then put it out of your mind within 30 seconds.
it's your wedding, do it your way!! we're not bridezillas, it's OUR DAY!! why shouldn't we have it OUR way?!
hmmph!!
queenb07
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
Posted by eelharas4700
and then it makes me have a mini bridezilla moment trying to justify all the reasons i am NOT a bridezilla! its like the smallest opinion you have means you are suddenly a 'bridezilla'! they just dont get it do they?
Well put! I HATE when people use that term towards me and the fact that I feel I have to be sensitive to everyone else so they don't say that. Why don't they all stop acting like a-holes and just do what I asked 50 times ago? The girls on that show are to the extreme. I don't think we are, but people feel they can use the term to get you to do what they want.
Jennie0898
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
If this makes you feel any better, accept the fact that at some point during your wedding plans someone WILL call you a bridezilla. There's just no way around it b/c it's just something I think people like to peg B2B as.
I'll give you an example... My sister called me a bridezilla when I told her, that it was her choice whether or not she wanted my nephew and neice (RB and FG, ages 5 and 3 respectively) to come to the RD. Apparently, me saying to her:
'Sis, I don't care, if you don't want them to come b/c it's going to be late, that's fine. As long as they come to the actual rehearsal it's ok.'
Of course this was literally DAYS before the wedding and after almost 2 years of making all the decisions, you just don't feel like making a decision about someone elses kids!!! So in trying not to be the bridezilla I was. Hence my point...roll with the punches, be yourself and don't sweat what anyone says or does. In the end everyone will move on after the big day!!! : )
October Bliss
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
My suggestion is to smile and say 'that's exactly right - I am a bridezxilla and do you want to know why??? Because this is MY wedding, not yours'
That will shut them right up.
songwriterchic
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Re: bridezilla? -- depressed & vent
My mom called me a bridezilla last night - I hate that too! When I got engaged for the first few months I was laid back thinking I have a long engagement and plenty of time. Of course everyone was on my back then, like 'how can you not be planning this yet? Do you not care?' Now that's it's getting closer I'm paying closer attention to every detail everyone keeps saying I'm a bridezilla for doing that. I'm just doing what they wanted me to be doing a year ago! It's so frustrating!
