Has anyone done one of these and do you think it's necessary? A girlfriend of mine just showed me her birth plan and I think that they may think she's crazy. Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one for thinking that I can just go in and trust the doctor's to do what they do best and deliver my baby?
This is her plan. Mind you she's NEVER given birth before. I told her that I think that some of her expectation are completely off the wall and unrealistic, but I'd like to get some input from people that have been there.
ENVIRONMENT
I would like to give birth:
In a birthing room.
I would like the following people to be present at the birth:
Partner: My husband Friend/s: XX, XX, XX
Relative/s: My mother
I would like to bring music.
I would like to wear my own clothes during labor and delivery.
We would like to film and/or photograph in the delivery room.
I would also like the following amenities: my personal effects if possible
PREP
I would like to have an enema upon being admitted.
FIRST-STAGE LABOR
I would prefer not to be separated from my partner at any point during labor or birth.
If water breaks at onset of labor, I would like to wait 6 to 12 hours or more before inducing, my and my baby's condition permitting.
If inducing or augmenting labor become necessary, I would like to try the following techniques:
Pitocin (oxytocin, syntocinon)
Acupuncture
Castor oil
Herbs (blue and black cohosh)
Walking
Sexual intercourse
I would prefer not to undergo internal exams unless they are medically necessary.
I would like to eat and drink during labor.
I would like to stay hydrated by drinking clear fluids and using ice chips.
If I need an IV, I would like to use a heparin or saline lock.
I'm interested in pain medication only if I'm too uncomfortable to handle the pain.
I would like to handle pain in the following ways:
Acupressure
Acupuncture
Massage
Relaxation
Breathing techniques/distraction
Hot/cold therapy
Bath/shower
I would like my partner to have the option to join me.
Drugs
If I use drugs, I would prefer to use:
Regional or local analgesia or anesthesia
Narcotics
I would like to be free to walk and move around as I choose during labor.
I would like the baby to be monitored externally.
As long as the baby and I are fine, I would like to be free of time limits and not have my labor augmented.
SECOND-STAGE LABOR
Unless I'm having a medical emergency, I do not want an episiotomy offered to me.
I would like to try the following positions for delivery:
Squatting
Whatever feels right at the time
I would like to have the following birthing equipment made available to me:
Squatting bar
I would like to view the birth using a mirror.
I would like to touch my baby's head as it crowns.
I do not want residents or students to be present during my birth.
As long as the baby and I are fine, I would like to be free of time limits on pushing.
CESAREAN SECTIONS
I would like my partner to be present at all times during the operation.
I would like to be conscious.
I would like the screen lowered so I can see the baby coming out.
We would like to videotape and/or photograph the operation and baby coming out.
I would like to have immediate contact with the baby (if the baby is in good health).
POST-BIRTH
My partner would like to catch our baby.
I would like to hold my baby immediately after birth.
My partner would like to cut the umbilical cord.
I would like all newborn procedures to take place in my presence.
If I can't be with my baby for newborn procedures, my partner would like to stay with the baby at all times.
I plan to breastfeed my baby.
I would like to breastfeed my baby immediately following the birth.
The following pacifiers can be offered to my baby:
Formula
I would like my baby fed on a schedule.
I would like my baby to room-in with me only when I'm awake.
If my baby's a boy, I would like him circumcised.
I would like to stay in a private room.
I would like my partner to spend the night with me.
I would like my hospital stay to be as long as possible.
Stacey1403
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
And I hate to break it to her, but if she is in a teaching hospital she can have students in her room
jenny11.9
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
When your friend goes into labor she is in for a rude awakening.
i Couldn't have said it better myself!
Well, I guess your friend thinks she can control the whole thing, but the fact of the matter is that she wont' be the only woman there, and these nurses and doctors do the best they can under so many emergency situations....This plan doesn't seem to cover...'okay you have severe pre-eclampsia and your kidneys seem to be failing, even though you feel totally fine, and we have to deliver the baby right now so here's your magnesium and your pitocin, that will work against each other so this will take approximately 28 hours of watching your blood pressure like a hawk and hoping for no seizures....and oh here's a catheter and we dont' have time for an epidural and that enema...yeah it's not happening so just push and we'll deal with what comes out.'
'oh and you dont' have time to put your contacts in so all your birthing pictures you thought would be the most sentimental thing you own are actually going to be of you not only in an oxygen mask but with your queer black glasses you bought 3 years ago'
But God bless her for being organized. And all kidding aside, of course it's best to go over with your caregivers the details that are important to you...though I think they might laugh their asses off at the acupuncture part. Where is she delivering- Bliss Spa?
I think your plan sounds a little more like it! Congrats Susan on keeping your feet on the ground!
RichsBride
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
this thread is great!!! Susans-I'm guessing that your first is a first time mom? She will learn as we all do that child birth is not about modesty or looking & even feeling good. I'm almost 100% sure the doctor that treated my during my labor @ Stony Brook was a resident Podiatrist!!!!! I can remember thinking, I really feel like this is the first time he's ever done this...of course it was 4th of July weekend & you get who you get when your doctor's not there
Stacey1403
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
Posted by jenny11.9
'oh and you dont' have time to put your contacts in so all your birthing pictures you thought would be the most sentimental thing you own are actually going to be of you not only in an oxygen mask but with your queer black glasses you bought 3 years ago'
I'm sorry Jenny but I just almost spit my juice onto the computer
jenny11.9
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
I'm almost 100% sure the doctor that treated my during my labor @ Stony Brook was a resident Podiatrist!!!!! I can remember thinking, I really feel like this is the first time he's ever done this..
SO funny! it's like that scene in Nine Months with Robin Williams....that cracks me up.
I remember thinking during labor - okay THIS isn't what I thought it would be at ALL. By the time she arrived they were like - now do you mind if we use a pacifier? And I was like - um NO WHO CARES GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS! The whole planning thing just goes down the tubes! Now I have a baby addicted to pacifiers...and ya know what? I couldn't be happier!
Claud2001
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
Birth plans are personal choices, and as such they will vary from woman to woman. We all know that said plans are 'nice to have' but often times are not realistic, based upon unknown circumstances beyond our control.
I will say that one of the things on your friends birth plan that made me laugh out loud was this: I would like to have an enema upon being admitted.
Personally, I do not know why someone would request this....again, JMPO....I just cannot imagine dealing with the pain of labor AND THEN compounding that with having to RUN as fast as they can (while contracting and in pain!) to the toilet! I understand that she may want to eliminate any solid waste from her bowel - b/c many women 'fear' pooping during birthing....BUT...that doesn't happen to everyone!
susans
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
I'm just a little bit more realistic. I know people that have given birth and to me it's a messy ordeal that I'd rather sleep through. I think that the BABY is beautiful and miraculous, but never saw LABOR as anything but a messy, very messy and sometimes painful means to an end. I most certainly don't want a mirror. I'm still a bit funny about DH watching me sweat and grunt like a pig while I try to pop this thing out!
I imagine when you go in there are so many thousands of other things going on, that they'll just put you in the next available room, pop in to see how you're progressing and then tell you when it's time to push.
I trust that if things go wrong they'll know what to do and check with me for my consent before moving forward.
I have VERY LOW expectations of the whole process.
'oh and you dont' have time to put your contacts in so all your birthing pictures you thought would be the most sentimental thing you own are actually going to be of you not only in an oxygen mask but with your queer black glasses you bought 3 years ago'
susans
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
LOL. She's MORTIFIED at the thought of pooping on the table and the possibility of an episotomy. I think those may be her two biggest issues.
Teri
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
Posted by Claud2001 I understand that she may want to eliminate any solid waste from her bowel - b/c many women 'fear' pooping during birthing....BUT...that doesn't happen to everyone!
Without being TOO graphic, I have to know - how often does this actually happen?
My friend years back drank tons of coffee before she headed to the hospital in hopes that she'd be able to 'do her business' at home!
Claud2001
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
Posted by Teri
Posted by Claud2001 I understand that she may want to eliminate any solid waste from her bowel - b/c many women 'fear' pooping during birthing....BUT...that doesn't happen to everyone!
Without being TOO graphic, I have to know - how often does this actually happen?
Teri, sorry...I have no statistics regarding how often that may happen, but I can tell you that it do NOT happen to me - AND I pushed for 4 HOURS...so, I'm not really sure what factors contribute to that happening during birth...
Stacey1403
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
If your worried you can always give yourself an enema at home efore you leave for the hospital
Lisalou
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
I think her plan is detailed and extremely helpful to me (for some things). I am in the middle of writing mine up now. I was told by my dr. last visit I need to have this done for my next visit in a couple weeks. I'm actually glad to do this, puts me at ease... I am terrified of the pooping and episiotomy as well... but, the reason my dr. asks for the plans is to make sure the hospital, my doctor, nurses and myself are all on the same page. Plus it's good for my DH to know what is going on and to make sure happens or doesn't happen. JMO
Kate
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
Susan!
I think I will print out your birth plan and hand it to my doctor as my own! Thanks!
Stacy- how long does it take an enema to 'kick' in? The home option sounds doable.
I know a nurse that gave her self one in the hospital and they were banging on the door for her to stop, (cause they knew what she was doing) and get out! After a certain point I guess they don't want you up and down to the bathroom.
chmlengr
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
Posted by susans
Yeah, I feel the same way on that one.
Here's my Birth Plan
Environment whatever room you usually use for this sort of thing
PREP
Please make sure that everyone washes their hands and is sterile. I assume this is standard procedure.
I'll wear whatever the hospital gives me because I assume it's going to get messy and I don't want to mess on a $45 nightie. I'll save my fancy gown for after I shower.
FIRST-STAGE LABOR and SECOND-STAGE LABOR Yes to an episotomy, yes to an epidural, please inform me of what's going on and when Please make sure that my husband doesn't faint (can you still use one of those sheets that seperates uptown and downtown?)
I would like to just get this over with as quickly and painlessly as possible. I can't stress that enough. FAST. LITTLE PAIN.
CESAREAN SECTIONS if necessary and you can kick out anyone that may get in the way, even if that means my husband
POST-BIRTH DO NOT show my partner a messy baby or I'm certain he'll be traumatized for life. And I CERTAINLY wouldn't trust him to CATCH a slippery baby
I would like to stay in my room as long as my insurance covers it (I think that's 2 nights) and I'm 1000% sure that they won't cover a private room so I won't even ask.
Susan I would write the same one.... My DH has to be the only man I know afraid of the sight of blood. He either won't be in the room with me, and if he is, the doctors will be attending to him when he passes out. I am struggling with the possibility I may have to rely on someone else to help me through this all. I love him dearly, he's just a big wuss when it comes down the the dirty part of it all.
Claud2001
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
Posted by susans
...but never saw LABOR as anything but a messy, very messy and sometimes painful means to an end. I most certainly don't want a mirror. I'm still a bit funny about DH watching me sweat and grunt like a pig while I try to pop this thing out!
Sue This made me sad to read! I turned down the mirror option with Paul's birth, too. I just didn't want to see what was going on - I felt I needed to focus! But to be honest, if I am blessed with another baby, I may choose different options the second time around....hindsight is so valuable in these experiences, I swear!
My hubby also surprised me. I truly thought he'd be a sqweemish mess, but he was nothing like that! He had sworn prior to the birth that he didn't even want to cut the cord, but when the moment came and the doctor asked him, he didn't even flinch! While birth is a bit messy and certainly not glamorous, my hubby was not phased by my sweating and grunting - he was awe-inspired and proud as hell that I was able to muster the physical strength and stamina to accomplish such a task! Don't underestimate yourself OR your DH!
Stacey1403
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Posted by Kate
Stacy- how long does it take an enema to 'kick' in? The home option sounds doable.
When I did it, it worked right away
susans
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
I think I may underestimate DH and hopefully he'll come through with flying colors, but I think that I'm squaemish enough that given a mirror, I'd be the one passing out and I'm sure that would just cause all sorts of problems. I don't even like to look at PICTURES of heads crowning
I guess it's sort of sad that I'm almost TOO much of a realist. Maybe after our first I'll feel differently and take a different outlook/approach to the whole thing, but for now I'm pretty set in my view of things. Or who knows? Maybe even I'll surprise myself and I'll be screaming for the mirrors and the camcorders!
Claud2001
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
Posted by susans
I guess it's sort of sad that I'm almost TOO much of a realist. Maybe after our first I'll feel differently and take a different outlook/approach to the whole thing, but for now I'm pretty set in my view of things. Or who knows? Maybe even I'll surprise myself and I'll be screaming for the mirrors and the camcorders!
No...I totally agree....you need to experience your first birth and understand the process on more than a 'well read' or 'book' level, if that makes sense?
Funny aside...I had a (male) co-worker ask me if DH and I were planning to video Paul's birth...I was like - NO WAY! And he went on to tell me that his wife was the same EXACT way for their first. However, by her second child, she agreed to the video camera being used from the perspective of behind her head. He said if they ever had a third, she'd probably want the video camera BEHIND the doctor the entire time! I laughed, but now that I am on this side of the experience, I might consider it, too.
jlf41
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
This is a great thread! You ladies are too funny - this is why I love the Parenting board.
Now, here I go again wearing my professional hat - but I think it helps sometimes to have a perspective from the other side.
Honestly, when a woman comes into labor and delivery with a written out plan including unrealistic and ridiculous requests it gets the staff's hair up on end. The last thing you want is to be labeled the difficult patient - I know it sounds terrible but this happens all the time. The nurses, doctors, residents are there for you and you want to be part of their team not working against them.
I am NOT saying at all that there aren't things that may be important to you that you should demand and hold onto no matter what (no epis, no epidural - whatever) but I think it is more realistic to choose a few well thought out things and make those requests known, not nit picking about every little detail that in the end you probably won't even care about.
As for the pooping thing - women do have bowel movements sometimes while pushing. It is quickly and wordlessly wiped away by the nurse or doctor and totally a non-issue. It is normal and expected and just not really gross - I mean have you ever seen the blood, fluid and other stuff that comes out during labor? Poop is the least of it. And I think having an enema, drinking alot of coffee or something else like that makes it worse because then you have loose stool. IMO, I would rather have a small bowel movement one time while pushing then loose diarhea the whole time on the table.
alina
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Re: BTDT moms: BIRTH PLANS
I have another 'poop' question. What if you go and have oatmeal and apples (which both make you poop like instantly). Then you'll have an empty stomach and pooping is no problem, no?
