Busy Fiance Vent

FH is a resident and has very limited time off. The hospital owns him. We can only have a 6 day HM, more like 4 days if you take out travel time.

Anyone else have a super busy FH?

We had this big fight because he said that some people in the world have real problems and that not being able to go to a certain place for our HM isn't a real problem. I couldn't believe he said this.

It's awful that he has barely any time off. He can't come with me to all the appointments. It really *****. I had my heart set on Bora Bora but now we can't even go because we don't have enough time. I know it isn't really his fault but I'm still upset.

Sorry, to hear you are a bit disspointed about not going to Tahiti! A lot of the girls on here , did a small honeymoon then when got married and then when they had more time they went on another honeymoon. Look at it as you might get TWO Honeymoons!!! That would work for me!

I feel for you with the day to day stuff. FH's schedule seems to always conflict with mine and it's frustrating.

For the honeymoon, I'd look into going someplace closer for a few days to maximize your time together and then do the Tahiti/Bora Bora trip when he's done with his residency, that will definitely be worth celebrating as well!

So sorry to hear but join the club... I know it might be kinda harsh but sometimes that's just how it is. Patience is the key. I know it's hard because you really do need your time together. Especially when you can't even take the HM you were dreaming about.


In my case yesterday was FH's birthday and he was flying out to Singapore for 3 Wks(work related). To top things off it is MY B-day on sat. and obviously he won't be here. In reality I know that this is not his fault, that it's all out of his hands and that in the end this will be better for all. But all in all it stinks!!!!


Best wishes and good luck. Try to be strong and make sure you always make time for eachother is all I can say....

That stinks, but there are SO many beautiful places you can go that are closer and will cut down travel time. Sure, Bora Bora is amazing, but it will be there. You can go another time.
Your honeymoon is going to be about being with each other more than anything else. I'm going to Tahiti and though I am really looking forward to it, it's the relaxing and be in love and blissfully newly married with FH that I am looking forward to MOST. And we could do that anywhere.

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Posted by ali120206

I feel for you with the day to day stuff. FH's schedule seems to always conflict with mine and it's frustrating.

For the honeymoon, I'd look into going someplace closer for a few days to maximize your time together and then do the Tahiti/Bora Bora trip when he's done with his residency, that will definitely be worth celebrating as well!

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I agree. If it makes you feel any better, I have been going to most of the appointments by myself too b/c my FH is just not into it. He would've rather eloped but I always dreamt of a traditional wedding. Don't feel sad. A lot of men can't attend or don't want to be involved in this stuff.

And, for you women who do have men that want to be involved, that's wonderful. More power to you. Enjoy!!

sorry to hear that!

but just look at it this way--sacrificing a big HM now...means that later on, you can afford to take a big vacation in a few years when he's not bogged down by these things.

i have to play devil's advocate a little bit---in a way, your FH is right....there are bigger things out there. i know it's tough cause THIS seems like a big thing to you. but realize that he sees some pretty crazy stuff, day in and day out, and not going to Bora Bora probably doesn't compare to it all. plus--it's not like he has much control over his schedule at this time. therefore, if you get upset about it, and it shows to him....it probably frustrates him more cause he can't do anything about it.

just remember---you have an entire LIFETIME happening after the wedding!

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Posted by Bridex100

FH is a resident and has very limited time off. The hospital owns him. We can only have a 6 day HM, more like 4 days if you take out travel time.

Anyone else have a super busy FH?

We had this big fight because he said that some people in the world have real problems and that not being able to go to a certain place for our HM isn't a real problem. I couldn't believe he said this.

It's awful that he has barely any time off. He can't come with me to all the appointments. It really *****. I had my heart set on Bora Bora but now we can't even go because we don't have enough time. I know it isn't really his fault but I'm still upset.

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I feel your pain sweetie. Mine is a 3rd year resident and he gets hardly no time off too. Luckily, the hospital is working with him for our wedding & HM. I had my heart set on a 3 week HM too, but I'm lucky we got 14.

My FH is a resident too, so I understand where you are coming from.

He had to take a whole month off at one time as his vacation so he had to obviously take the month of may for the wedding.

I would be so happy with a 2 week HM!

All residency programs are different. I wish his was the type that gives him one block off at a time.

One of his co-residents almost got kicked out of the program because he wanted to take two weeks off to visit his family abroad.

He's a second year resident. He's an orthopedic surgeon.

What is yours?

I wish my FH was an orthopedic surgeon! I need one of those in the family!

He is in his first year and specializing in otolaryngology. We actually moved to Miami for his residency.

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Posted by Bridex100

I would be so happy with a 2 week HM!

All residency programs are different. I wish his was the type that gives him one block off at a time.

One of his co-residents almost got kicked out of the program because he wanted to take two weeks off to visit his family abroad.

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Mine gets two 2 week blocks each year. So 1 month off total per year, but can't take it all in one time.
He's an ER Doc.