But I don't WANT a Honeymoon!!!!

FH and I have 2 children that are very young, not to mention a new puppy. We are not planning on going away for a honeymoon. We had briefly considered a ‘family’ honeymoon, but determined that we have different priorities and it just isn’t something we are interested in doing.

Anyway…. It recently came to my attention that my boss was planning on paying for a honeymoon for us as his wedding gift. Then I heard that my best friend (MOH) was considering doing the same exact thing. I don’t know how to get it across to people that I don’t really want a honeymoon. I feel awful because it is like looking a gift horse in the mouth… but I would really prefer not to have someone plan and pay for a vacation for us.

The problem is… how do I express this without tipping my hand that I know what the plan was. I don’t want to seem like an ingrate! I would rather NOT have a gift at all then to get 2 honeymoons that I will not use!

honestly, my life is hectic with 1 kid...let alone 2. take the FREE honeymoon and run! if you know the 2 of them are offering, let them meet and they can each pay half instead of ALL.


you will miss getting that special time alone....and it's just so worth it. even with the extra planning you might have to do with school and the puppy, since you aren't paying for the trip, it will make it easier to figure out.


just enjoy it and know that people cared about you soooo much, they paid to give you a break from reality!

Think about the last time and the next time you and you FH were and will be alone for more than a few hours at night. A HM doesn't have to be a 10 day excursion, it can be a long weekend, but I think, even with all of the things going on under your roof (kids, pupper dogs) that you will so enjoy a few days alone with your husband. You definitely deserve it! I say go for it.

ditto...

i've been a single mom. and i know it's tough (not that you're a single mom... but the raising kids part).

i think the 'long weekend' idea can be worked out.

at least, think about it. you might enjoy a weekend when it's just the two of you.

good luck

i think you should consider this a blessing! i mean seriously--once the wedding is over...when do you think you'll be able to afford to take a family vacation together and enjoy it?

you don't have to go crazy--take a vacation to disney! i think you may kick yourself later if you don't take ppl up on this offer now. have a friend or a professional kennel for the puppy....and spend a few days with the kids as the new family you will be !

i'm not sure there is any 'polite' way to refuse a HM, without causing some hurt feelings on the other end. no matter how you word it, they will probably feel like you're being ungrateful...so take the HM!

There is no way you should pass this up! If I had to pick doing the weddin all over again or the honeymoon, I would choose the honeymoon. You will never have a chance to do this again - and for it to be offered to you for free!! TAKE IT!!!!

I think not only do you need a honeymoon, you DESERVE one.. You are very blessed to have to fantastic people in your life that are willing to pay for a HM.. even if it's a long weekend.. Go For It Girl!!!

I agree with all the other gals..Take the honeymoon(s)!! It will be so good for you emotional and spiritual health to have this alone time with you husband! Do it, and let the kids have some quality time with their Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie, Uncle, or whom ever will be caring for them

ETF: Bad spelling!

You deserve a break! You and you FH deserve to have a couple of days to be with each other....and if you can't bear the thought of leaving your children...take a disney cruise. I hear that its wonderful...they take the kids (if you want) and then you could have time with your New Husband.

In resent post you had mentions that you have a lot of stress. Please do this for yourself. Take the trip with a smile. They say if the Woman is happy.....the Family is happy!

I think that both are planning a family trip. One was concentrating on Disney and the other is working on Beaches Resort.
One challenge is that FH is an electrician and he doesn’t get ‘vacation’ per say. If he is laid off at the time… there is no problem… but taking time off when you CAN work and HAVE work is kind of… frowned upon.

Also… I would have to do a LOT of prep work to take ANY time off from my job. There is nobody who does what I do here. I generally don’t take more than a day off. More than that causes serious challenges and makes my life miserable when I return.

A long weekend might be a consideration… but how do I ‘hint’ that I don’t need anything more than 3-4 days when I am technically not supposed to know what either is planning?

Didn't you say that your boss was planning one of th HM's for you? So is time off from work really something to consider if it's your boss sending you on vaca??

It seems like the monkey wrench in the whole plan is your FH's time off from work. His bosses would still give him a hard time if the time off was for his HM?!?!

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Posted by rojerono


A long weekend might be a consideration… but how do I ‘hint’ that I don’t need anything more than 3-4 days when I am technically not supposed to know what either is planning?

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is there someone you can confide in who can drop the hint for you?

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Posted by rojerono

I think that both are planning a family trip. One was concentrating on Disney and the other is working on Beaches Resort.
One challenge is that FH is an electrician and he doesn’t get ‘vacation’ per say. If he is laid off at the time… there is no problem… but taking time off when you CAN work and HAVE work is kind of… frowned upon.

Also… I would have to do a LOT of prep work to take ANY time off from my job. There is nobody who does what I do here. I generally don’t take more than a day off. More than that causes serious challenges and makes my life miserable when I return.

A long weekend might be a consideration… but how do I ‘hint’ that I don’t need anything more than 3-4 days when I am technically not supposed to know what either is planning?

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sweetie, your BOSS is trying to plan/pay for it..so s/he's clealry thinking you'll be gone! just relax and go with it!

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Posted by KimAMalone

Didn't you say that your boss was planning one of th HM's for you? So is time off from work really something to consider if it's your boss sending you on vaca??

It seems like the monkey wrench in the whole plan is your FH's time off from work. His bosses would still give him a hard time if the time off was for his HM?!?!

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um...you're boss is totally planning on paying for it, soooo that would mean they understand that you won't BE there! i know it might be tough...but the office won't fall apart w/o you, if your boss is willing to give you a vacation.

as for the vacation time for your FH....well why not hint that you want the vacation during a 'laid off' time. honeslty--i know it might be frowned upon....but i'm sure they would understand if he wanted to take a few days off for his honeymoon!

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Posted by KimAMalone

Think about the last time and the next time you and you FH were and will be alone for more than a few hours at night. A HM doesn't have to be a 10 day excursion, it can be a long weekend, but I think, even with all of the things going on under your roof (kids, pupper dogs) that you will so enjoy a few days alone with your husband. You definitely deserve it! I say go for it.

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I agree. I know right now it seems like a lot of things need to be in order before you go, like babysitters and babysitters, but a free honeymoon!!! You have to go for it! You and FH will have such a great time. Don't pass up a honeymoon, years later you really might regret not going. And in a few years when you decide it's a good time to go, you may not have the money, and it won't be free anymore! GO FOR IT!

take it and run!!!!!! i wish i had that offer!!! haha....Alex and I have 1 child and as much as i love her id love to get away for a few days so we can just sit back and relax! if i know our families have her and shes in good hands i'd love a HM! Maybe even go for 3 days....you will love the time away w/ your new hubby!!
We cant afford our dream HM so we decided to join my family a week after the wedding four a group cruise not the most romantic thing but its a week away....Alexa is coming but i know ppl will gladly take her if we want time alone!

enjoy it and GO!!!

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Posted by KimAMalone

It seems like the monkey wrench in the whole plan is your FH's time off from work. His bosses would still give him a hard time if the time off was for his HM?!?!

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Not everyone gets vacation time at their jobs, and her FH seems to be one of those people. I am, too and it stinks. I was given a hard time about taking off for Yom Kippur next week! So DH and I are taking our honeymoon next time I have a break from work.

rojerono - Maybe you can drop hints at work about your FH's work stuff. Do you know in advance when he will be unemployed? You can always just say 'We'd love to get away for a few days after the wedding, but his schedule is so bad right now. I can't wait until XXX when he has some time.' Something like that, maybe?