I sort of have a dilemma. I didn't want a shower but my MOH and a few others kept saying that I had to register and to suck it up bc I was getting one weather I wanted it or not. So I did. My mom came into town this weekend and told me that the MOH told her it was her responsibility to pay for the shower. I only have 2 women in my BP. My mom dosen't have the $$ to throw a shower for 40 people. We counted. I don't want this to be an expense to her but she insists that she will take care of it. I'm thinking of just un-registering and telling her that I don't want one. I feel really guilty having one knowing that my mom needs to take care of her own things. She is 63 y.o. and has some medical problems. What would you guys do?
Rachel1013
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Honestly I think it is RIDICULOUS that you MOH told your mother it was her responsibility to pay. I would be extremely upset that she said that to your mother and confront her about it. I hope everything works out for you. Good Luck.
sr081906
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I feel bad that someone IMPOSED the shower but told YOUR MOM she had to pay for it.
Yes, I do understand your dilema and honestly would not be happy with my MOH.
40 people... what about Wendy's value meal or Taco Bell? (j/k)
Why not do it in the afternoon, and just do desserts (cakes, cookies, cupcakes)? With hot beverages (tea and coffee). It does not have to be a full meal. There is no rules for that. It think it would nice.
libby2595
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wow... that's a tough one.
let me get this straight... you moh bugs you to register for your shower b/c YOU HAVE TO HAVE ONE... and then turns around and puts the financial burden on your mother???
what a SNOT!!!!!
i think that there are a few things you can do. i would NOT unregister... only because there are always guests who feel better about buying you something that you've already chosen... keep the registry as a favor to them.
there is always the option of having a very informal shower. i've seen casual, backyard showers and they are a lot of fun.
many women only invite the bride's side... this might reduce your guest list.
can someone give your moh a good talking to about how it's not proper etiquette for the mother of the bride to host the shower?
i'm sorry i'm not being much help. with all the stuff happening to me lately, this REALLY PISSES ME OFF!!
Mandyin2007
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That was very rude of your moh I would discuss it with her.
miss nee
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i assume the moh is a best or good friend..i would give not one piece of of my mind by 2 big chunks... that is soo unfair and disrespectful to your mother and your day ..dont let this weigh or your heart ..let her know how u feel..
Mdolph6
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Nicole,
I dont think it was very nice for your MOH to tell your mother she has to take care of everything. I would just see if maybe you can cut the list and possibly have it at someones house and tell your MOH that she has to chip in to...but with that if you really dont want one then tell your mom.
I think you should have one, just to be able to celebrate your soon to be marriage.
luvabul
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ur MOH is out of her mind, how can u impose a shower for 40 ppl on a 63 year old woman with medical problems...perhaps she could have offered to split the tab, or do something really small...like a bbq, or just a nice thing at home... i would have a talk with her, about why she did that...
GabrielleandJohn
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That is Bullsh*t and I would call her out on it!
MJDoc12
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i definitely think that you NEED to talk to your MOH and let her know that you are NOT happy with the situation. she insisted on a shower...you didn't want one...and then she has the AUDACITY to tell your mom to pay.
that's such b.s. ! talk to your MOH NOW and get it handled!
vmystique33
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Posted by MJDoc12
i definitely think that you NEED to talk to your MOH and let her know that you are NOT happy with the situation. she insisted on a shower...you didn't want one...and then she has the AUDACITY to tell your mom to pay.
that's such b.s. ! talk to your MOH NOW and get it handled!
I agree and i always thought it was the MOH who was supposed to throw it or at least the bp
jenn122397
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i think it is very wrong of your MOH to demand that your mom pay....considering she is your MOH i would think she would know your family's ituation. Definitely discuss it with her.
Maybe you could do something very small - just bridal party and close family
Dnn518
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That is so wrong that she had asked your mother to take care of the $$$ for the shower that she insisted you should have. I would definitely have a talk with your MOH about the situation.
AllJoy
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I'm sorry, that you have this B.S. I can't believe people. When I was an MOH 12 years ago, there were three other girls in the W.P. besides me. We each chipped in $150.00, we were going to chip in more, but the mother insisted on chipping in $100 (yes places where cheaper then). The brides mother had no husband, and just worked part time due to health reasons. I don't know where people get their info from. I have no mother to help pay, so its all up to my wedding party. At first I didn't want a shower either, but we all deserve one.
iffy
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Your moh needs to learn herself some manners, and some respect, and if you won't, I'll gladly school her in the nearest alley.
Don't unregister. Talk to the beotch and tell her that if she and the bridal party are not interested in hosting your shower, you will gladly do without, thank you very much.
Ugh...stupid people make me mad
Soon2BeMrs
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I would be annoyed that your MOH told your mom it was her responsibility...isnt that one of the MOH jobs???? if your mom still wants to do the shower what about having it in a backyard?? something simple maybe
snydl40
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That was terribly rude of your MOH. She has no right to say who pays for what. I would tell her that it is her responsibility.
rojerono
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Nic, I TOTALLY agree with the rest of the girls here.
1. Do NOT 'unregister'. 2. Let your mom know DEFINITIVELY that she SHOULD NOT - under any circumstances - be bullied into paying for your shower. 3. Talk to your MOH and let her know that she needs to get a serious grip on herself. Reiterate that you do not want a shower and that you PARTICUARLY do not want a shower at the expense of your mother.
I have been in several bridal parties. I have always contributed to the shower costs. At my best friend's wedding I paid for the whole damn thing. Not ONCE did we ever ask for money from the MOB, although a couple of times we were offered a contribution from the MOB.
I am horrified for your poor Mom!
And I feel awful that you were put in this situation!
sfmullen
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OH MY! Listen I am sure MOH is a good friend but SHE *****!!!!!!!!!!! Tell your mom and seriously sit her down and tell her that you dontwant a shower if that is seriously how you feel. and then call your friend out on her bull $hit and tell her you dont want one , your mom under no circumstances is paying for one, and if your MOH wants one she can hold a small one for you and your BP and close friends. that is BULL. o
