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Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

civic24ex Posted:

Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

Butterflybride Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

His mother and her friends made a very nice gesture and I think you should take advantage of it. Taking 30+ people out to dinner can be VERY expensive and it would save you and FH a lot of money. JMO.

Dama88 Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

No your not crazy. I would avoid the extra expense also. To me the more relaxed the atmosphere the better. You have a certain time restriction when you go out. If it is done at your house it can last much longer. Provided you have the room for 30+ I say keep it home. Good luck.

jimmysgrl Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

Posted by Butterflybride

His mother and her friends made a very nice gesture and I think you should take advantage of it. Taking 30+ people out to dinner can be VERY expensive and it would save you and FH a lot of money. JMO.


I sort of agree. If you say no to the mom, she may feel sort of bad that she's not helping at all. If this is something she wants to do for you all, I think it would be very nice and intimate.....JMO
naps627 Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

i know our is over 50 dollars per person so it can definately get expensive. I would have it at home if mine was finished.

MrsJ Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

My friend was in the same situation and her FI's parents (both alive but not well off financially) cooked and had everyone to their house. People loved it because it was so personal. I say go for it.


PS My DH's parents didn't off ANYTHING towards the wedding. The whole family didn't offer - not even to do stuff like help wrap favors or anything like that - never mind the RD!! They showed up for that, thats about it!! so your FI should be thankful that his Mom wants to help, its sweet and I think he'll be glad he did in the long run.
Marisa M Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

I agree - Your FMIL may not have the money to take 30+ people out to dinner, but she obviously is comfortable cooking for them ! - Think of it as a holiday @ her house....... -
IMO the rehearsal dinner should be laid back and totally casual anyway ! - The wedding will have all of the formalities you know ??
Summer05 Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

Posted by jimmysgrl

Posted by Butterflybride

His mother and her friends made a very nice gesture and I think you should take advantage of it. Taking 30+ people out to dinner can be VERY expensive and it would save you and FH a lot of money. JMO.


I sort of agree. If you say no to the mom, she may feel sort of bad that she's not helping at all. If this is something she wants to do for you all, I think it would be very nice and intimate.....JMO


I agree. she probably feels bad that she cannot contribute to the wedding and this is her way of offering to help. I think that you should take her up on the offer.
Soon2BMrsA Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

Posted by Marisa M

I agree - Your FMIL may not have the money to take 30+ people out to dinner, but she obviously is comfortable cooking for them ! - Think of it as a holiday @ her house....... -
IMO the rehearsal dinner should be laid back and totally casual anyway ! - The wedding will have all of the formalities you know ??


I agree!
newnybride2be Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

Posted by Summer05

I agree. she probably feels bad that she cannot contribute to the wedding and this is her way of offering to help. I think that you should take her up on the offer.

I totally agree!!!
Did he ever stop to think that maybe this is her way of giving a gift, especially since she has very little money?? I think you should have it at the house. He may just end up hurting his mother's feelings.
Bunnymonkey Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

well...his issue might not be that he doesn't want to eat in his house...it might go deeper. If he really went that crazy, then something else might be bothering him about it. Just a thought...


eta: I think a home RD is an awesome idea!
azoodie Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

if my fmil lived closer to the church i would've actually perferred it to be there!!!

i think it's an awfully sweet gesture! even if she doesn't want to cook, ordering some catered food or even heroes will save you a ton!

good luck!
DMcK Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

I think you are right & it would be a nice way to have FMIL involved.

jpavig Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

Tell FH to suck it up and let his mother and friends throw it for you. This may be the only thing she can do and it may make her feel bad if she can't at least do that much. Tell FH to take her feelings into consideration.

angelbear217 Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

I think your FH is nuts not to take advantage of an offer like that. It was very generous of your neighbors to do that for you. Save FMIL some money and yourselves some money too. Have it at home, it is a rehearsal dinner, not your wedding. A lot of great things can be done at home.

Dooodles Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

I love the idea that FMIL and your neighbors want to do this for you. If you can accommodate everyone at your house, try talking to FI again and hopefully he will understand his Mom is doing this out of love and the formality can stay with the wedding. It is a lovely gesture!

DIANA Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

Whatever you can do to make your fmil happy is the way I would do it. It makes things much easier.

Jamie&MarkSept.'05 Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

I think it would be rude to reject FMIL's offer...she clearly doesn't have the money to afford a dinner and I think a nice dinner at home would be so intimate and sweet....tell FH it just isn't worth hurting his Mom...

She sounds sweet.
marc_rai Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

I think it's a great idea for the mom and friends to have a dinner at home. It will definetly be a different type of vibe then your wedding and it will be more personal. I actually prefer this option than going out to a restaurant.

Corduroy94 Posted:

Re: Can I have you opinions please so i can settle an argument with FH

I love the idea of having at home - SO much more personal. I also think that your FMILs gesture to have her friends and her cook for it one of the sweetest & most giving gestures I have ever heard. My FMIL is not contributing anything either but she would never dream of making such a thoughtful and generous offer like your FMIL has.

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