Can i take a min to b!tch and moan?!?!?!

i hope you girls dont mind if i just vent and be a totally selfish daughter right now!!!

my parents have offered to help in anyway possible they have said in past coversations that they would like to help out 5k-10k in the end since they know we are payin for the whole wedding ourselves. i was expecting nothing and when i heard this i felt a sigh of relief since im still in school and barely work. so this was in june i was told and have been reminded a few times since.

it all depended on selling our old house and downsizing to help bring in some more $$$... so long story short they sell the old house we move my dad quit his job and i assumed that iw ould be getting no help since in this what i would call 'time of need' for them i expected NOTHING it would be wrong of me to expect them to give me any $$$ when my dad is now out of job and they need all they've got!! so then they go out and buy all new appliacnes for the house 5k worth which dont get me wrong they neeeeeded the ones the people left were old and broken... but now my dad says to me yesterday that its my moms 50th b-day this year as well as their 30th anniversary and dont get me wrong its a BIG DEAL for both of those things... but hes decided that hes going to take her on a 7 day vacation to the bahamas!! this is after they have told me they dont have any money to help pay with the wedding maybe im being selfish and not understanding but how can you have this money to go on a 7 day vacation and not be able to help with your only daughters wedding???

sorry this prob sounds terrible.. im just totally puzzled and kinda hurt that they are always cracking jokes that they keep spending the $$ they planned to give us to help out. my parents are the least bit selfish and have given me everything i could ever dream of growing up. and i wasnt even expecting anything from them sice i know their $$ issues.. but when you bring it up and say that you want to help and give us a round about amount i was looking forward to it.. and i feel so bad i could never bring it up to them! i was just shocked when my dad through that out there!

sorry this is so long im just puzzled and needed to vent!!
thanks

i would be upset soley on the fact that they obv. have enough money to go on vacation bu t not help you ... if they just didnt have money and they werent spending any money on anything i think then you should understand but since that is not the case i can see how you are upset!

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Posted by MikeandJess

I know it sounds bad but I really don't think you're being selfish either. And I know what you're going through. My parents aren't helping us out because my mother is always crying poverty. Meanwhile my father belongs to this club (it's like an old mans fraternity) where the dues are over $10,000 per year! So this club has all my parents money and I'm $30,000 in debt from school loans. Like you said, i expect nothing from them so I don't say anything but I definitely see where something is wrong.

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its nice to see im not the only one!! i feel so bad saying a bad word about them they are so generous and have given up alot for my brtoerh and i for years!! so im really greatfull they are both around and love us so much the situation just puzzles me!

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

i think maybe i protrayed them the wrong way.. they havent been on a vacation with out kids since they got married 30 years ago... this is like a one time thing.. but like even 1k would help soooo much!!! like pay for the flowers or dj or something its not like were not booking things ya know and i tell them how much stuff is costing us!!

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no i didt take it that way and i didnt mean it that way i just get why you are hurt and that you shouldnt feel bad about it ...

im sorry! i kno it must seem like a low blow to see them spending like that.

i know. i mean i couldnt believe my mom helped me with some things. i was amazed by it...i dont want to ask them for a dime so i will be proud that we pay for it on our own you know.

You are right. you should be proud that you can afford it.

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Posted by Future_Mr_andMrs_Palomino

I'm in the same boat, my parents paid 50% of my brothers wedding, and now all of a sudden their last kid, and yes im the only girl!, they decide not to help! I was completely stunned as well, but so long as you can have the wedding that you have been dreaming about and have found that special someone thats all that matters!

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wow, that would upset me so much. unless your brother was struggling and you and your FH are bringing in big dough, i would be so hurt. i guess the best thing is to assume no one will be helping at all, but thats easy to say!

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Posted by SeaMaiden

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Posted by Future_Mr_andMrs_Palomino

I'm in the same boat, my parents paid 50% of my brothers wedding, and now all of a sudden their last kid, and yes im the only girl!, they decide not to help! I was completely stunned as well, but so long as you can have the wedding that you have been dreaming about and have found that special someone thats all that matters!

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wow, that would upset me so much. unless your brother was struggling and you and your FH are bringing in big dough, i would be so hurt. i guess the best thing is to assume no one will be helping at all, but thats easy to say!

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Well me and the FH are still students so we're defiantly not bringing in the dough, like i wish we were lol, but my mom has been having bad health lately that there spending so much on medical stuff that I just keep telling myself thats why there not helping with my wedding, because they cant afford it.

i dont think you sound selfish at all

we are dealing with the same thing with the FILs - they canceled a trip to italy to save up for the wedding so we figured YAY! we are getting some help. . . but they haven't offered a dime. i feel like telling them to just go to italy bc it doesnt make any sense. . . (ok i know its kind of an OPPOSITE situation sorry i highjacked the thread but just saying. . . it stinks)

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Well me and the FH are still students so we're defiantly not bringing in the dough, like i wish we were lol, but my mom has been having bad health lately that there spending so much on medical stuff that I just keep telling myself thats why there not helping with my wedding, because they cant afford it.

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im so sorry to hear about your mothers health, im sure it eats her up inside that she cant help you as much a she wants to.

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Posted by SeaMaiden

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Well me and the FH are still students so we're defiantly not bringing in the dough, like i wish we were lol, but my mom has been having bad health lately that there spending so much on medical stuff that I just keep telling myself thats why there not helping with my wedding, because they cant afford it.

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im so sorry to hear about your mothers health, im sure it eats her up inside that she cant help you as much a she wants to.

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Thank you. She seems to be getting better, so I pray for that! So long as shes at my wedding is all that truely matters to me and my FH.

i feel for you.

when we booked our parents said that they were going to be splitting the wedding 3 ways so we started to make payments to the vendors that we were paying for

then 3 days before payment was due..FFIL says he cant do his $500 this time and prob cant do anything anymore..so we had to scrape up $500 and do it with my moms half to get $1000

it left us broke..my poor puppy went 3 days with no dog food because of it

we find out 3 days after we made the payment that
he just bought a $30,000 motorcycle and is going to spend 3 weeks in coast rica

im pissed..but whatever..i dont care if i go broke..my wedding is going to be the best day of my life and ill do anything to make sure it happens