Can I vent?

divabride Posted: Feb 18, 2004 09:54 AM

Can I vent?

I showed my mom the final two picks of the catering halls Im considering. One is 1/2 and hour away, the other is 1 hour away. But I tried to explain to her the one an hour away was a really good deal. She had a total fit saying they were both far away and that I cant expect people to drive that far. She said even the one 1/2 hour away is too far. I asked her who it was too far for (most of my guests are out of town)? She wouldnt answer me. So I asked her if it was too far for her. She said yes it was. That she didnt want to drive that far. Then she said who is going to pay for all the hotel rooms? NOT ME!! She is soooo old fashioned, she just doesnt get it. Im trying to incude her in our wedding plans, but she's making it difficult to go to her. Not for nothing, but they havent even offered me a penny, but she's got plenty to say about the choices Im making. She would rather have the reception hall be a dump but be right around the block from HER house. Very frustrating. Parents, especially moms, can be sooo hard to deal with!! Ugh!! Thanks for letting me vent.

sams Posted: Feb 18, 2004 10:07 AM

Re: Can I vent?

Hi!

Don't let your mom get under your skin. Don't say this to her BUT if she is not paying for anything and you and your hunny are then, she really has nothing to say. You are her daughter. You guys have your wedding wherever you want and who wants to come to it comes and who doesn't doesn't have to...including your mom. One thing I am learning is that EVERYONE has an opinion as to what you should do. Just smile and nod and say, 'that is a good idea. I'll keep that in mind.'

Then YOU AND YOUR FIANCE do WHATEVER YOU GUYS WANT. No matter what anyone says. This is the time for the 2 of you and no one else.

Just a side note:

Your mom might be having a bit of separation anxiety and that is why she is being so difficult.

:

wenndypoo Posted: Feb 18, 2004 10:09 AM

Re: Can I vent?

Sorry to hear it
Moms go so crazy over this stuff!

sweetadeline Posted: Feb 18, 2004 10:28 AM

Re: Can I vent?

My cousin's wedding was paid for by my grandmother. It was a disaster, because grandma insisted on having everything exactly her way, including using a cheesy hotel restaurant right near her house. My cousin really regretted allowing someone else to dictate her wedding. It STILL bothers her when she thinks about what happened.

Bottom line: compromise here and there if you must, but don't give in!!!! Do what you want! (Easier said than done, but remember... this is going to be your wedding, and you want the best possible memories of it!) Good luck!

marymoon Posted: Feb 18, 2004 01:56 PM

Re: Can I vent?

I've never been to a wedding where the reception was less than 1/2 an hour away. And do what makes you happy. If she has a legitimate concern, then listen, but it doens't sound like she does. I don't think it should be a problem. The invitations tell where everything is and people have enough time to make travel arrangements and realize they have to drive an hour.

MarcellaBella Posted: Feb 18, 2004 08:03 PM

Re: Can I vent?

Posted by divabride

I showed my mom the final two picks of the catering halls Im considering. One is 1/2 and hour away, the other is 1 hour away. But I tried to explain to her the one an hour away was a really good deal. She had a total fit saying they were both far away and that I cant expect people to drive that far. She said even the one 1/2 hour away is too far. I asked her who it was too far for (most of my guests are out of town)? She wouldnt answer me. So I asked her if it was too far for her. She said yes it was. That she didnt want to drive that far. Then she said who is going to pay for all the hotel rooms? NOT ME!! She is soooo old fashioned, she just doesnt get it. Im trying to incude her in our wedding plans, but she's making it difficult to go to her. Not for nothing, but they havent even offered me a penny, but she's got plenty to say about the choices Im making. She would rather have the reception hall be a dump but be right around the block from HER house. Very frustrating. Parents, especially moms, can be sooo hard to deal with!! Ugh!! Thanks for letting me vent.

Moms are a pain.. don't let it get to you.. If you like a particular hall, do it b/c you want it..

butterfly20 Posted: Feb 18, 2004 08:06 PM

Re: Can I vent?

moms seem to get crazy for weddings...
pick the hall you want, because its your big day...
if she wants to say the hall is too far, maybe you can splurge and get her a towncar to take her there and back

jill13bean Posted: Feb 18, 2004 08:12 PM

Re: Can I vent?

You have time, you are getting married 10/05?

Marisa&Brian Posted: Feb 18, 2004 11:04 PM

Re: Can I vent?

Go WHERE EVER you want for your reception !! We have all been to weddings we had to drive to guam and back for - you do it b/c you want to be there, your guests will come w/o complaint if they really want to be there!

chris605 Posted: Feb 18, 2004 11:06 PM

Re: Can I vent?

I am sorry to hear that - My mom did the same thing -

bxgell2 Posted: Feb 18, 2004 11:10 PM

Re: Can I vent?

I just posted yesterday about similar problems with my mom... I finally just sent her an email and said, look, I really appreciate your input, but my focus for this day is that it will reflect what my FI and I want, and our personalities, and I really hope you can understand... you will make yourself nuts trying to please everyone... try to refocus on what the whole day is about... and fyi, she responded quite nicely... I think mom's like that just need a little push here and there...