Brides Helping Brides ™ - Can past brides offer some perspective?

whtevjenny Posted: Oct 30, 2009 09:25 AM

Can past brides offer some perspective?

I got some great responses to a past post about this, but I need some more help from people that have been there before?

How did you feel after your wedding with all the pre-wedding stress? How did you make yourself feel better, keep from worrying about what could go wrong that day? I'm just so anxious as it gets closer - of course, I'm excited, but I am worrying a lot!

QUIA Posted: Oct 30, 2009 09:37 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

I was so stressed & anxious up until that day. Worried about weather, girls hair, time line .. everything. A blood vessel in my eye popped 2 days before due to stress ( lucky it was not to bad ) but I can honestly say that its soooo not worth the stress. I had a concrete time line... I just knew it would all go according to plan.. and it didnt. It rained... we were 1 hr behind... but when it all ended all that mattered was why we were having the wedding. An hr before everything ended I looked around and said to myself... the stress was not worth it .. it all works out.. JUST like everyone says!!! Enjoy it. It goes so fast!!!! I mean SUPER FLASH FAST :)

Since the wedding I have been nothing more than sleeping and lots of paper work to change my name. Its so busy after changing accounts to Mr. & Mrs. Bank info etc... I Love being called Mrs. Serrano and just enjoying life with my husband and new things we are working on together. Not sure if your getting video.. but we are anxious to get ours so relive the moments that went so fast... things we missed etc.

Just remember your marrying the man you love :) Enjoy it & it will all work out. Dont stress each other out :)

MrsCM Posted: Oct 30, 2009 09:54 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

I always say the same thing. Things will go wrong and you can't control it and you won't even care because you're so happy. If you keep that in mind and just roll with things you will be fine. Because even if everything is wrong, what are you going to do about it? Just be happy and enjoy your wedding day.

MaggieLuvsJoe Posted: Oct 30, 2009 09:57 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

I was a nervous wreck up until the night of our rehearsal dinner, I did some yelling bc nobody was cooperating at the church and I think I must have let it all out then bc the next morning and the 2 days leading up to our wedding I was so calm. I was so calm that my mother was a little worried that I was going crazy lol....everyone kept saying how calm I was, I guess I had had enough of being stressed that I just wanted to enjoy the day...

One way to alleviate your stress is to have a timeline for the day of, hour by hour and just go over it with a few people who can keep track of the time. I had my bridesmaids help me out alot, they were awesome, I timed my hair and photog to arrive at perfect times and it worked out great. We got to take so many pics that I actually asked the photographer to stop bc he got so many shots and to go ahead to the church.

Good Luck and your day will be great, remember to eat a little something in the morning so you won't pass out.

alli3131 Posted: Oct 30, 2009 10:09 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

I dont think there is really anything you can do about the stress leading up to the wedding. I think that is just a part of the wedding planning.

I woke up the day of my wedding in such a peaceful state. I didnt do anything to get there it just happened. I didnt stress about a thing that day. It was pouring rain and I could have cared less. I think it was because I was so comfortable with what I planned and being with DH.

justustwo48 Posted: Oct 30, 2009 10:28 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

I was stressed that week but I think it comes with the territory because it's the fear of the unknown; 'will my vendors arrive on time?', 'will my flowers come out the way I wanted?', etc. But in the end, we stress for no reason.

The night before my wedding, my hairstylist called me and said she would be arriving an hour later than contracted but was bringing an assistant at no extra cost to me to get it all done. I stressed a little but it all worked out perfectly. I slept so soundly that night and had energy all day because I was on such a high since I was getting to marry the love of my life.

There are moments where the pent up anxiety comes crashing down too. As I was getting my dress bustled, my shoe broke beyond repair and I started to cry....not because the shoe broke but because my dress was hemmed perfectly to my other shoes and since we were doing a choreographed dance, I was afraid I was going to trip and fall. But I borrowed my bridesmaid shoes, they fit perfectly, and our dance was amazing.

It's ok to be stressed but just remember, some things are out of your control and all you can do is brush it off and keep smiling because your smile and glow is what people will remember.

Dr Meg Posted: Oct 30, 2009 10:47 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

I honestly lost sleep over worrying about the wedding for weeks before. I imagined I planned all these things out to a T and something was bound to go wrong.
However, once we got to the wedding weekend (starting Friday, our wedding was Sunday) I changed my 'tude. i kept telling myself 'at this point, it is what it is, whatever goes wrong goes wrong and only DH and I will probably be the ones to notice it.' I let it all go. And our day turned out perfect.
I had my DOC, hair dresser, MD, BM and photog all tell me I was the calmest bride ever.

LadyDuda81509 Posted: Oct 30, 2009 10:54 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

i was a mess the last 2 weeks before my wedding! everything seemed to be going wrong!! but once the day came, everything started falling into place, its like you really cant let anything bother you that day! there was a TON of things that i could have bugged out about the day of my wedding for example, my cake being served at the wrong wedding, my florist forgetting to put the lights in the CP's, my limo not fitting everyone, leaving my parents who were paying stranded! all of that yeah i guess bothers me a little now, but the day of you are going to be soo happy its not going to even stress you the slightest! and dont let it stress you, cuz that will jsut ruin your day!

KittyGags Posted: Oct 30, 2009 11:11 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

there is one thing that got me thru. Xanax.

kmiller Posted: Oct 30, 2009 11:18 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

Posted by KittyGags

there is one thing that got me thru. Xanax.

whtevjenny Posted: Oct 30, 2009 11:31 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

Posted by KittyGags

there is one thing that got me thru. Xanax.

FMIL suggested this to me, I was gonna call and see if I could get some. I'm THAT nuts ;)

ETA: and kitty, after what those a$$holes did to you, I would be popping them like m&ms!

AFutureBride Posted: Oct 30, 2009 03:25 PM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

I took a week off prior to my wedding day. I think it helped give me time to relax. I had a few things to get done and they were spread throughout the week so that no one day was I ever rushed or in a hurry to get somewhere.

My mood can easily be changed because of something going wrong and I CHOSE not to make that happen on my wedidng day. Things will go wrong no matter what, nothing is perfect. Why dwell on things that don't affect the big picture.

I planned 2 wonderful wedding days at 2 reception halls on the same weekend and I can't recall anything really getting to me that ruined my mood. My husband kept me foused on what was most important.

DonnaPWhite1124 Posted: Oct 30, 2009 03:36 PM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

I was going nuts. I was also offered some xanex to help me through my day. However, I had a glass of wine and was good to go!

I worried over limos, BMs getting their hair done, and GMs getting their tuxedos on time. In the final days before the wedding, I was just like fawk it. It is what it is.

And guess what, everything was fine.

You'll be alright. This is the FUN part-the buildup to the wedding is the BEST part in my opinion.

las1 Posted: Oct 30, 2009 03:52 PM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

great advice thanks!

Tomlaur0808 Posted: Oct 30, 2009 05:18 PM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

I had a lot of little bumps to dela with the last 2 weeks before the wedding...but all in all I woke up on the day of - just thinking about me & DH and this was OUR DAY!

MoochsWifey Posted: Oct 30, 2009 06:52 PM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

You don't even need to worry about not stressing the day of, it;s weird you'll wake up in the morning and you just have this sense of calm. At least that's how it was for me. I'm a huge worrier which means I am an obbssesive planner. When I woke up the morning of the wedding I KNEW that I had done everything and that if I had somehow forgotten something that ever bride before must have forgotten it too and it couldn't be that important! So I guess my advice is stay focused in the weeks leading up to your wedding. Plan, plan and then plan some more. Delegate people to do things on the day of so you don't have to. Example: Have someone to round things up after ceremony and make sure they end up where you need them. (unitly candle, extra progrmas ect.) When everyone is telling you not to make one more list...make it! Everyone made fun of me before the wedding calling me OCD and saying I was crazy for having a plan a b and c for everything but then the morning of the wedding everyone was like 'How are you so calm?' my FSIL and BM's actually told me I was freaking her out!

Ok that was long...hope it helps at least!

whtevjenny Posted: Oct 31, 2009 08:37 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

Thank you all for responding....this really did help. I've finished most of the projects associated with the wedding, so hopefully i can just cool down in the next week!

MirabellaNYC Posted: Oct 31, 2009 09:53 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

Once we were finished with all of our final meetings and paid all of our balances, seriously we were both like 'whats done is done' and at this point its too late to do anything else. We weren't gonna spend any energy wondering if everything would go as planned.

I was watching the weather like a hawk, and then the 2 days before I realized that no matter what it would be gorgeous, and we had no control over it.

The day before the wedding I had a lot of me time, running last minute errands before myself. I was crying all day (I hadn't had a chance to really process what was happening because of all the chaos).

Also-DH took me on a date (we saw Wicked!) the wednesday before the wedding and it was really good to get the hell out of wedding world. We had a great night together that didn't revolve around wedding tasks and it was perfect.

My advice for your last week is to just take it all in. Its so wonderful when your friends and family are traveling in, just enjoy every moment from here on out, and remember that the day is about YOU and your HUBBY, not about flowers and lighting (thats great and all but its not what the wedding should be about).

Enjoy this week!

twoifbysea Posted: Oct 31, 2009 10:06 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

BIL gave me a few of his of Valium (2 mg, very low) to get me through those last days leading up to the wedding. Just to 'chill me ever so slightly'

in all honesty though, I got to the point where I just had to let it all go and what was going to happen, well, just was going to happen. I was freaked about the weather (they'd initially called for rain on 9/4) but it ended up being spectacular.

Oh -- and the day before the wedding, I had to drive from Northport to Massapequa ALONE to get my gown, and bring it to Port Jefferson. I had way too much time to think about everything, I wish I'd had someone there to distract me.

My advice is this: getting married and the moments leading up to it are some of the most special you'll experience. Take time to soak it all in with your FH!!! it all goes by sooooooooooooo fast!

whtevjenny Posted: Nov 01, 2009 08:59 AM

Re: Can past brides offer some perspective?

thank you so much ladies. We went to our venue yesterday and they already have the room 'assembled' for us...I mean, none of the flowers, etc, but like the tables are all set up, and I was able to see who would be sitting where, and we started getting REALLY excited. It made me happy that the people we're paying to take care of things actually are. I think once I have that dress on and I haven't fallen into a puddle of mud or anything, I'll be good to go!!!!!!!!! :)