can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
mka06
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can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
So - I know etiquette says that we have to invite everyone who we sent a save the date. But, FH has a colleague/friend who got one... subsequently, they had a falling out. FH has tried several times in person and over email to patch things up and the other person won't have it. He's civil in other's people company, but has sent emails with several snide remarks. Yes, I realize the odds are that this person would not come to our wedding if invited, esp since it would require travel. BUT - neither of us want him there after the way he's acted and I'd be ticked if he did end up showing up. Any way to get out of inviting him?!
esb980
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Re: can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
If they had a falling out, I don't see why you'd invite him.
mka06
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Re: can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
Not inviting him seems like the logical thing to do. But, I think it isn't in line with etiquette. Other thing that plays a role here is that FH works with him, so I don't want to make a decision that will make him look bad in the professional arena... Just want to get a feel for what you all would do and if you thought there was a way to gracefully get out of it.
Thanks for your opinion!!
esb980
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Re: can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
Then, I would just invite him, maybe it would be a way to 'patch things up'. Also, it makes your FH look like the bigger person.
mka06
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Re: can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
Anyone else? I guess my hold up here is that FH really thought this was someone he was pretty good friends with. With the way this guy has acted, he has come to the realization that he is not. Even if they were to 'make up', I don't think he would ever consider him a friend again. This falling out happened months ago, so a bunch of time has gone by already... I guess the hang up is that we are having our wedding at a place with limited space. We have a B list that has people on it that we would love to be at the wedding... I don't want some jerk there!
ahall04
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Re: can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
Sometimes I have to wonder if it is worth it to follow the rules of ettiquette. I would imagine if your FH has been trying to patch things up and this guy is unresponsive, that he wouldn't really want to go to the wedding... plus, do you want to have that uncomfortable tension on your big day? I say don't invite him.. there are other people who would be much better guests to have!
JessicaM.
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Re: can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
Posted by esb980
If they had a falling out, I don't see why you'd invite him.
I agree. etiquette or not, you don't want anyone there that doesn't even LIKE one of you..
cmastro25
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Re: can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
In this case, I wouldn't invite him. In all likelihood, he wouldn't show up. But I don't know if he's the time of person to show up and make a scene. I wouldn't feel comfortable inviting someone that has acted in the way you listed. If you don't want him there, I think it's perfectly reasonable not to send him an invitation at this point.
mka06
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Re: can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
Thanks for all the advice!!
evnme
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Re: can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
i think this is one time when ettiquite can go out the window! if they had a falling out, why would u want to invite someone who will bring negativity to your special day?
ali120206
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Re: can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
I agree.
Normally, if you send a save the date, you should send an invitation as well. If you aren't talking to the person, you don't need to, unless you feel like you want to be the bigger person and patch things up.
lipglossjunky73
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Re: can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
I'm thinking your FH should just talk to him - and say - look, the wedding is coming up, i know we sent you a save the date, and I just want to make sure things are cool with us before the wedding - I would love for you to be there, I'm sorry this happened between us, etc... and see how the guy responds from there - that is what I would do!
roxyspark
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Re: can we not invite someone who got a save the date?
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I'm thinking your FH should just talk to him - and say - look, the wedding is coming up, i know we sent you a save the date, and I just want to make sure things are cool with us before the wedding - I would love for you to be there, I'm sorry this happened between us, etc... and see how the guy responds from there - that is what I would do!
