Can you girls give me your opinions on what I should do?? *** Updated at bottom ***
Original post by AJsMommy122
My dad and I used to be VERY close. Daddys little girl and the whole bit. But a year and a half ago something STUPID happened and we got into a big fight and havent really spoken since.
My moms boyfriend on the other hand has been around constantly in my life for the last 5 years. We get along very well.
Well at my fh's request I sent my dad an invitation to the wedding. He rsvpd YES!!! I am so happy and excited and shocked!! He even called me and we spoke a little...not really about the wedding.
Sooo now everyone has an opinion on what I should do. My mom has been asking me for a year to dance with her boyfriend but I kept telling her no I didnt feel right. Now that my dad is all of a sudden in the picture alot of people are telling me that I should dance with my dad... nothing mushy or whatever but should do something.
Now my situation is I dont want my moms boyfriend to feel like crap. He has been there all along and I wont dance with him but my dad pops back into my life a month before the wedding and I dance with him??
Do I dance with both???
My brother is walking me down the aisle but he is only 15 and really dosent want to dance with me in front of all our guests.
Sorry so long!! Please help!!
Bunnymonkey
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Re: Can you girls give me your opinions on what I should do?? *** Updated at bottom ***
Posted by Soon2bMsZ
Thanks everyone for all your opinions! I just called my dad to tell him where the guys were all renting the tux's from. Well he said he isnt wearing a tux!! Hes wearing a suit to his only daughters wedding.
He didnt bring up the dancing or walking in the room or walking me down the aisle or anything. In fact he rushed off the phone.
I am not doing the father daughter dance with either of them. I will beg my little brother who is walking me down the aisle to dance with me.
Did you tell him about the dance? I don't think this is the kind of thing he is going to bring up if he is unsure of where you two are at - this is yourt responsibility to mention. He may have rushed because he is nervous and doesn't know what to say...he may be your dad but he is STILL a man (read: still clueless when it comes to some things!)
i would give him a chance....
shamrock12472
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Re: Can you girls give me your opinions on what I should do?? *** Updated at bottom ***
Posted by Soon2bMsZ
Thanks everyone for all your opinions! I just called my dad to tell him where the guys were all renting the tux's from. Well he said he isnt wearing a tux!! Hes wearing a suit to his only daughters wedding.
He didnt bring up the dancing or walking in the room or walking me down the aisle or anything. In fact he rushed off the phone.
I am not doing the father daughter dance with either of them. I will beg my little brother who is walking me down the aisle to dance with me.
This is coming from a daugther that had an extremely poor relationship with her father from many, many years. Until about 1 - 2 years prior to my wedding, my father was not involved with anything in my life. He woudn't come to holidays or specail events. He was just plain miserable to be around.
He did change and really tried to become a father in that he paid attention to all his children, acknowledged them and their special occassions and tried to become a family member again. My sister and I, being open hearted and forgiving, allowed him to be a part of the family. It has been very difficult for both of us to move on and let go of a lot of anger and resentment.
As my wedding approached, it was a difficult decison to have him walk me down the ailse and pick out a song to dance to. It was hard to do when it was happening.
The point I am making is that I am so happy that I made the choice to have my father walk me down the aisle with my mother and have a father/daughter dance. It is something that I will get to carry with me as a memory for the rest of my life. There won't be any regret in doing it, only in not doing it.
JBKempf
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Re: Can you girls give me your opinions on what I should do?? *** Updated at bottom ***
I agree with this.
Posted by WinterBride2005
I think it would be nice to dance with your dad- annouced- and then have a seperate dance with your mother's BF- unannounced.
What do you feel like doing?
FeliciaDA
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Re: Can you girls give me your opinions on what I should do?? *** Updated at bottom ***
Maxine - first of all plenty of to you. I'm sorry you even have to go thru this so close to your wedding
I really think there is no 'right or wrong' in this scenario. Every situation is different, and every family is different . I dont think who you dance with truly matters in the end. What DOES matter is that you and Joe have the best wedding day possible, and that YOU, the bride, does not have to make any decisions that is going to cause you any additional anxiety on this day -- this wedding day that you've waited for your entire life, and have planned so perfectly for so long
That said - I think I would leave the subject of father/daughter dance alone for a little while - I would give this re-established relationship with Dad a chance to grow a little bit before asking him about the dance. As someone else duly noted, he is your Dad but also a MAN and I wouldn't take anything he says to heart right now. After all, it was only a month or two ago that you weren't even talking and you didn't even think your Dad was going to BE at your wedding, let alone dancing with you! So in that regard, I would just enjoy the fact that he is going to be there for you, and try not to worry about the 'wedding traditions and protocol' that too many of us brides worry about.
In the end, do whatever it is in your heart that will make YOU happy - and that would be to dance with whomever you want to, or with noone at all.
Most of all I do not want to see my friend upset on her wedding day! I have too many pictures to take of you, after all
