Can you plan your own shower and bachlorette party....

My best friend and godmother to my son is my MOH. I've known her since JR high school and I love her dearly but she is not the most dependable person in the world. She was suppose to plan my baby shower along with my sons other godmother and at the last minute she told me she never contacted her becasue she didnt feel right asking her for money to help pay for it. They are not friends to eachother. The entire thing was a disaster. She has the best of intentions sometimes but she really drops the ball. I dont have sisters and i am closer to her than my own female cousins.

Should I make it known to all of the bridesmaids that i want a shower and a party or should I leave it up to her to handle? I have 2 bridesmaids that i'm sure would contribute with no problem.

I cant afford to pay for these other 2 parties in addition to the wedding so if its left up to me to pay for i just wont have one.

For your bachlorette party I definately think you can have a say..most girls I know have told us what they wanted to do for that one.

As for your bridal shower I don't think you can necessary 'plan' it unless you are paying for part of it or a family member is. Otherwise I might hint at what I would like

HTH

I agree, you could totally hint around that you want a shower to all of your bridesmaids. Typically the MOH pays for it, but I have been in weddings in the past where the MOB & other BMs helped pay the cost as well. You could also talk to your mom and his mom, maybe they will want to plan the party together and this eliminates the issue of anyone else dropping the ball.

As for the Bachlorette Party, I agree that you totally have a say in what you are doing (or NOT doing), but usually the BMs and close lady friends pay for that as well.

I dont see why you couldnt help guide the planning of either shower, but I think if you put in your two cents too much you might find that you might be expected to pay for some things too.

This is a tricky situation!