Catholic Brides: Lying to the Priest/Church - UPDATED...we met with him!!

Original post by Vicky1706

Sep 27, 2004 02:26 PM

Just need some advice...

FH and I are not very religious nor do we EVER go to Church but we still both want to get married in a Catholic Church. I have not booked the ceremony yet and I just called and they took my name and said the priest will call me back. I want to get married in a church that isn't my parish (it used to be before another church was built and they changed our parish). I really want to get married in this church...I was baptized there, my mom was baptized and my parents were married there, and my grandmother was married there.

What do I do if he asks how often FH and I attend mass?? Do they ask that when you arrange the ceremony?? Do I LIE TO A PRIEST and say we're regulars or do I tell the truth and risk him telling me there is no way we can get married there?

I know I am not the only Catholic who doesn't go to Church and I am sure plenty more before me have gotten married but thinking about this conversation is making me a little nervous.

Anyone have suggestions/input??

TIA!

Nicki_Rini Posted: Sep 28, 2004 09:59 PM

Re: Catholic Brides: Lying to the Priest/Church

im currently going to RICA sponsering my best friend whos becoming catholic, the church has become more relaxed in the way that they know us 'younger' kids arent really going to church, and they are finding more trendier ways to pursuade us to go... also if my preist asks me im gonna tell him the truth.. i play bingo once a week in the church basement and see if that flys!!

Vicky1706 Posted: Oct 11, 2004 03:50 PM

Re: Catholic Brides: Lying to the Priest/Church

Well, we met with him on Sunday and everything went great. He is so nice and didn't even ask about how often we attend mass. He asked us a few questions like why we wanted to get married and then asked us to tellhim a little abou tus and than that was it. We have to meet him again after pre-cana and then a few more times after that.

Overall, I am totally at ease now!

Thanks again for all of your help!

FLaCaTaCa Posted: Oct 11, 2004 03:57 PM

Re: Catholic Brides: Lying to the Priest/Church - UPDATED...we met with him!!

Posted by Vicky1706

Well, we met with him on Sunday and everything went great. He is so nice and didn't even ask about how often we attend mass. He asked us a few questions like why we wanted to get married and then asked us to tellhim a little abou tus and than that was it. We have to meet him again after pre-cana and then a few more times after that.

Overall, I am totally at ease now!

Thanks again for all of your help!

Good for you!!! I like St. Finbars. I live very close to there. You'll have a beautiful day!

Vicky1706 Posted: Oct 11, 2004 04:37 PM

Re: Catholic Brides: Lying to the Priest/Church - UPDATED...we met with him!!

Posted by FLaCaTaCa

Posted by Vicky1706

Well, we met with him on Sunday and everything went great. He is so nice and didn't even ask about how often we attend mass. He asked us a few questions like why we wanted to get married and then asked us to tellhim a little abou tus and than that was it. We have to meet him again after pre-cana and then a few more times after that.

Overall, I am totally at ease now!

Thanks again for all of your help!

Good for you!!! I like St. Finbars. I live very close to there. You'll have a beautiful day!

I live very close to there as well...walking distance! We should hang!!

MrsJ Posted: Oct 11, 2004 04:43 PM

Re: Catholic Brides: Lying to the Priest/Church - UPDATED...we met with him!!

They asked us and we told the truth - that we dont regularly attend but we would like to start attending and marry there - and they were 100% ok with that. The priest actually said that that was the case with a lot of young people and that getting married brings them back to the church and religion. Not for nothing, and just my opinion, but at the state the Catholic church is in right now, they shouldnt be too picky! lol

nylibride Posted: Oct 11, 2004 04:50 PM

Re: Catholic Brides: Lying to the Priest/Church - UPDATED...we met with him!!

Posted by Janice

Does your mother still go to that church and give an envelope? my parish is strict, and turn away their own if they have a baby out of wedlock, things like that, I am sure you will be fine, if they ask, I would say, well we don't go to church as often as we should. Then they will just say to go more. You will most likely have to do pre cana though. Mine was so strict they sent me to 6 mos of natural family planning, every other saturday morning. After my envelope experience I always give my envelope incase they ask when I am ready to baptize my kids

Wow. This really rubbed me the wrong way to hear your church asking you to send records of your offerings. And 'turning away their own?' That doesn't strike me as particularly Christian of them.

prncssrachel Posted: Oct 11, 2004 04:53 PM

Re: Catholic Brides: Lying to the Priest/Church - UPDATED...we met with him!!

We had some huge issues with getting married in a church. One being that we are not practicing Catholics and we don't agree with the church on MANY things. BUT we felt we had an obligation to our families and to our future children to get married in a church, so we went ahead and called the parish JT grew up in. The priest not only asked us how often we go, he SEPARATED us to ask this question, among other irritating ones. JT, of course, lied and said he goes ALL the time with his mom.....stupid me told the truth and said I never go and I got a 20 minute lecture about how going to church is like exercising, we may not want to do it, but it's good for us. As much as I appreciated the analogy, still wouldn't get me to go to church. He did thank me for my honesty. I told him the truth, that at this point in my life, religion does not play a very big part in my life. But we DID lie about living together. To me, that is NONE of their business. Church going in their business, where I lay my head at night, NONE of their bees wax.