Catholic Brides Question

Okay so I'm meeting with my priest for the first time (not pre-cana) to meet, talk, sign some papers I think! And I'm very nervous.....

He knows my FH lives in NC (and is Lutheran too) and that I'll be moving there. I'm going to be living with him and I'm not sure whether to just tell the truth if the priest asks or say that I'm going to live with FH's parents....not sure how to handle - obviously I dont want to lie to the priest but if you could share what you have done and said and gone thru please! Or even what you would do?!

Thanks girls!!

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Posted by nmagel

I would tell the truth. Why start out w/ a lie? You are gettting married soon enough. I don't think he would judge.

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totally agree!
and he probably wont even bring it up!

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Posted by nmagel

I would tell the truth. Why start out w/ a lie? You are gettting married soon enough. I don't think he would judge.

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I agree. You definately don't want to lie to a priest. When FH and I met with the msgr of our church, we had to fill out the paperwork and found out that we live together. He did tell us that it's 'frowned upon' but with financials and whatnot, more and more engaged couples are doing it, and he understands.

I hope the priest gives you an easy time.

Yeah I agree with you guys - I don't want to lie and start out that way. That's not a fun thing to do and just adds stress. I think I'm more nervous of how he will handle the fact that we will live together ya know! I'll just tell him how it is and we can go from there!!

Thanks ladies!! Great advice - I'll let you know what happens!! It's not for 2 weeks but I guess Im getting nervous early!!LOL

Tell the truth (who wants that guilt, ya know?). This is my way of thinking... if that Catholic Church shooed away all couple that lived together, they'd be out of a wedding business.... you'll be fine.

We met with a Deacon and a Priest and neither one of them batted an eyelash.

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Posted by Espo22

I would just answer no we dont live together, bc currently you are not living together so you are not lying...the fact that you will in the future is not relevant at the moment.

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i agree ...

we live together and ours didn't even bring it up so we never had to say anything. but if u dont live together now...then its totally fine to say that...u wouldnt be lying. but if he does ask...i would just be honest. i dont think they care about it as much now (unless maybe ure at a really strict old-fashioned church).

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Posted by Belongs2DanBuckley

I would tell the truth but explain the situation...be careful...some priests won't marry you if they find out you live together...what church- do you know anyone who's married there b4?

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I know people who've been married there (our lady mercy, hicksville) but not sure what their situation was and there friends of friends.

Well I guess I'd just rather be honest and not get caught in a lie b/c I'm a terrible liar anyway and how bad would it be to get caught lying to a priest!! And if they won't marry us there then I'll just find another church or have it at the reception hall. There are always alternatives and I'm sure it'll work out. I just hate the anticipation of the meeting - I went to Catholic school all my life and was always afraid of the nuns etc.... it's like all of the sudden I feel like I'm back in school again!

You girls are great - I do appreciate your opinions!!

I just have a question. Are you meeting with your priest alone or is FH going with you?

I am nervous cause my FH will be home for the month of June when we book a RH and a church. However he leaves for Japan for a whole year at the end of June. I dont know if we will be able to meet with our priest before FH leaves--so they dont mind that FH is not there with you?? Cause FH wont even be home until 3 months before our wedding so we are going ot have to sqweeze precana in the end right before we get married : /

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Posted by cbcf

I just have a question. Are you meeting with your priest alone or is FH going with you?

I am nervous cause my FH will be home for the month of June when we book a RH and a church. However he leaves for Japan for a whole year at the end of June. I dont know if we will be able to meet with our priest before FH leaves--so they dont mind that FH is not there with you?? Cause FH wont even be home until 3 months before our wedding so we are going ot have to sqweeze precana in the end right before we get married : /

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I think that you should go now and talk to the priest alone and tell him your situation - set up the date and get that kind of stuff out of the way so you have your date and time

then when FH comes home - go back with him bc they ask you some questions ( every church is different but this is from my experience ). They asked us if we wanted to raise our kids catholic, if we were related (lol) and other stuff like that.

Be careful with the pre-cana too! You should tell the priest you have such a short time to take it. My church only offers it in October or March. Sometimes the ones on LI get full quickly so if you don't want to miss the few that you can make!

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by cbcf

I just have a question. Are you meeting with your priest alone or is FH going with you?

I am nervous cause my FH will be home for the month of June when we book a RH and a church. However he leaves for Japan for a whole year at the end of June. I dont know if we will be able to meet with our priest before FH leaves--so they dont mind that FH is not there with you?? Cause FH wont even be home until 3 months before our wedding so we are going ot have to sqweeze precana in the end right before we get married : /

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I think that you should go now and talk to the priest alone and tell him your situation - set up the date and get that kind of stuff out of the way so you have your date and time

then when FH comes home - go back with him bc they ask you some questions ( every church is different but this is from my experience ). They asked us if we wanted to raise our kids catholic, if we were related (lol) and other stuff like that.

Be careful with the pre-cana too! You should tell the priest you have such a short time to take it. My church only offers it in October or March. Sometimes the ones on LI get full quickly so if you don't want to miss the few that you can make!

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thank you!!! i appreciate it. that is a good idea to go ahead of time to the church. i just have one question i didnt book a hall yet so the date we choose i guess is not definite yet (i have to wait till FH comes home to do that part haha)..is that ok still to go to the church and say we havent booked the hall yet but here are the dates we are looking at?

I told FH that if we meet with the priest and need to lie to leave it up to me because I am jewish and we don't believe in hell

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Posted by MikeandJess

I told FH that if we meet with the priest and need to lie to leave it up to me because I am jewish and we don't believe in hell

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hahahaha!!!!!!

No my priest wanted to make sure the hall was booked.

Don't be scared...you're right to tell the truth...good Luck!!! I went to catholic school too.... don't let me see ya sweat!

FH and I live together and we told the truth when we met with the priest. He had absolutely no problem with it at all.
He was asking for our addresses and I stated that ours are the same since we live together and all is said was all right that's fine and kept going.
I don't think any church is going to say no right now, they want to keep all the young members they can!

it probably wont come up.. he'll ask for your addreses and prob see that there are 2 different ones..

our priest never asked but I just figured he saw we had 2 different addresses