Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

the future mrs m Posted: Oct 16, 2007 09:27 PM

Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

My fh and I have been to a few weddings in the catholic church and have noticied the trend that the ceremonies are rather unromantic and almost are non emotional. I wonder if anyone else has noticied this. It just seems like the priest goes through the mass, the readings are given and that's it. It's almost like the vows don't even stand out. What has your experience been?

NC1011 Posted: Oct 16, 2007 10:03 PM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

My FH feels the same way, but he is biased b/c he is Greek Orthodox. We are going to be having a Greek Orthodox ceremony with a small exchanging of vows in the very beginning to acknowledge the catholic tradition. FH went with me to a catholic wedding and said that there was very little emotion involved. I guess i see his point compared to the ceremonies he is used to, but I grew up Catholic and that's what I'm most familiar with. For example, there is no 'I so-so take you so-so to be my .............' and there is no actual 'I Do'. Basically you dont talk at all. But since I am Catholic, we will be having a Catholic priest present to do a small exchanging of vows in conjunction with the Greek priest in the very beginning of the ceremony. Then the entire Greek Ceremony will take place and at the end the Catholic priest will say a blessing. I really wanted to have the whole 'I Do' thing so this was the best compromise we came up with.

Colette Posted: Oct 16, 2007 10:26 PM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

I tend to agree, EXCEPT when couples choose that reading about the stag bounding across the hills, its pretty uh, erotic actually!!! *Tip: If you use it, make sure your reader PRACTICES it before and can do the middle part without cracking up; i've been to at least 3 masses where the reader went into fits of laughter there, not QUITE what anyone had in mind!!!!

Song of Songs 2:8-10.14.16; 8:6-7

I hear my beloved. See how he comes leaping on the mountains, bounding over the hills. My Beloved is like a gazelle, like a young stag. See where he stands behind our wall. He looks in at the window, he peers through the lattice. My Beloved lifts up his voice, he says to me, 'Come then, my love, my lovely one, come' My dove, hiding in the clefts of the rock. In the coverts of the cliff, show me your face, let me hear your voice for your voice is sweet and you face is beautiful.' My Beloved is mine and I am his. Set me like a seal on your heart like a seal on you arm. For love is strong as Death, jealousy relentless as Sheal. The flash of it is a flash of fire, a flame of the Lord Himself, Love no flood can quench, no torrents drown.

the future mrs m Posted: Oct 17, 2007 05:58 AM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

Thanks ladies. I'm nervous that it won't be full of emotion--maybe it just depends on your priest.

acsm Posted: Oct 17, 2007 09:22 AM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

Posted by the future mrs m

Thanks ladies. I'm nervous that it won't be full of emotion--maybe it just depends on your priest.

i think it depends on your priest..
ours was a little different than the norm...

Kris0703 Posted: Oct 17, 2007 09:30 AM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

I think it also depends on the couple. I've seen some that were emotionless and some that I cried like a baby.

Future Mulligan Posted: Oct 17, 2007 09:51 AM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

i am catholic but i feel like church in general is very cult like - so i dont like it - i dont mean it in a way to offend anyone - but if you look around a church there are a lot of things that are creepy looking to me - but that is me looking at it in a non religious way - like the altar is weird to me, the big cross with jesus - super creepy to me, the saint statues, the stations of the cross, and then during the mass - everyone sits, everyone stands, everyone kneels - all at the same time just like everyone says the prayers together - just all of it seems like a cult to me - then during communion with the bells and smoke stuff - it all just reminds me of something you'd read about a cult doing......so to me the church is not romantic at all......but if you are religious i am sure it can be a beautiful place to you.....just for me its not.....we are having our ceremony in the RH and I feel like it will be more personalized and more romantic - to some people it won't be and they will be surprised that we are not having a church ceremony - but hey different strokes for different folks :)

zoe282 Posted: Oct 17, 2007 09:58 AM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

I think the only way the catholic ceremony is romantic is if you add some personality to it. I've been to some where the priest asked the bride and groom to write something about eachother and why they love eachother and read it at the ceremony, or when they tell a story or something about the couple....that way it just isn't a ceremony its special. I am getting married in a greek orthodox church and I think their ceremony lacks that personality, but it's important to my FH. If i had a choice I would do the service at the RH and make it a personal service about us...I think those are beautiful.

Tina1117 Posted: Oct 17, 2007 10:01 AM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

I'm getting married at the Catholic Church and I never really thought of it as being emotionless until you just mentioned it...AND YOU'RE RIGHT!!! Now that I think of it, it's very emotionless.

I've always said I do not want a microphone at my wedding because I do not want people to hear me say my vows (due to embarrassment). But I think I might reconsider that now that you mentioned it not being emotional.

Also, I am having a trumpeter assist with the music. I think the sound of the trumpt brings chills to your body and will sound very nice (especially when I walk down the isle).

Thank you for opening my eyes to the emotion of the ceremony. You are so right.

-Tina

rkl1130 Posted: Oct 17, 2007 10:22 AM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

I think Catholic ceremonies can lack in emotion--it is after all a ceremony. I think that many priests today though will work with you to personallize it and make it more intimate and more meaningful. I know I initially didn't want to get married in a church, but DH insisted. Our priest was fabulous and worked with and really got to know us in order to personalize it to us. In addition, we added our own few touches. It worked out great and many who have never been to a Catholic wedding found it to be so much better than they thought and liked it better than the ceremonies performed in their churches.

jeanla4c Posted: Oct 17, 2007 10:51 AM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

Our Catholic ceremony to me was one of the most romantic and definitely the most meaningful part of our day! I can't explain the emotions I had during the entire beautiful event.

Kara and Todd Posted: Oct 17, 2007 11:15 AM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

Well, then I guess my wedding was the exception. EVERY guest told us it was the most personal, heartfelt, romantic ceremony they ever attended. It all depends on your priest.

JennysMOH Posted: Oct 17, 2007 11:36 AM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

It all depends on the couple and who is doing the ceremony and the special touches they place to the sacrament. Our Catholic faith is very important to my immediate and extended family and the majority of our friends so we get a lot more out of it because of our faith and knowing the importance of the sacrament. If you do a Catholic ceremony or Mass just to do it or because you can get nice pictures then yes you are not going to feel the beauty of the Mass or the beauty of your marriage being blessed by God.

At my sister's wedding they asked their spiritual advisor/friend Priest to perform the Mass and asked the Deacon who is like an uncle to us to help celebrate the Mass and to say the Homily. I sang the Offetory and my Father and I sang the Ave Maria. One of her best friends and her husband along with their 2 year old daughter put the Lazo on her and it looked so beautiful due to the fact that a loving married couple with their child put it on them and that is what you hope for the newly married couple to have in the future.

rkl1130 Posted: Oct 17, 2007 11:40 AM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

I agree with the other posts that it all depends on your priest and the couple.

AeroJenn Posted: Oct 17, 2007 01:11 PM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

Posted by jeanla4c

Our Catholic ceremony to me was one of the most romantic and definitely the most meaningful part of our day! I can't explain the emotions I had during the entire beautiful event.

Ours too. To be honest, I dont think it matters which church, priest, or religion it is -- it depends on the couple and how much the ceremony means to THEM. If the ceremony and the vows mean a lot to you, it will relect and your guests will feel the emotion. However, in general I tend to disagree with you -- I've been to very few Catholic ceremonies in which I felt it was emotionless.

PegaLega Posted: Oct 18, 2007 01:59 AM

Re: Catholic ceremony: romantic or not?

It is pretty emotionless. I do however recommend a few meetings with the priest that will be doing your ceremony. Talk to him about how you met, how you got engaged, your quirks, FHs quirks, it usually helps bring a personal touch to your ceremony.
We did this the night of our rehearsal and we were talking about how I hate to cook and DH loves it and we both hate to clean....during the ceremony our priest started talking about how 'one of us is a better cook and both are slobs' it was pretty good and made everyone kind of laugh.