Catholic church

I need help from my fellow Catholic brides. I was going to get married in my parish church but I haven't had the best vibes from them. There is a new priest who I don't really know and I just don't feel comfortable with him. Do you know of any churches that would allow me to get married there even though I'm not a member of the parish. Also, my fiance is not Catholic, my priest didn't mind but I know some will. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I'm considering getting married at Fox Hollow just to make things simpler but I know I'd be disappointed if it isn't in a church.

Re: Catholic church

Well if you get married at Fox Hollow, your marriage is not recognized as a sacrament in the eyes of the church. Ridiculous - but 100% true. There are places and priests that will tell you otherwise - I have done EXTENSIVE research on this (am even writing a book about it!) so I can promise you on that...

As far as a church that you are not a member of...it's difficult. They may want you to 'promise' you will become a parishoner (sp?) - I did that w. St. Patricks' and actually have been to church every Sunday there since - so I guess I came through!

Truly my suggestion is to go meet w. the new priest - express your concerns. Maybe you'll really like him! You can also fine a priest from another parish and have him come to your home church. They just have some waiver or something that both parishes have to sign. But make sure you get a priest from a real Roman Catholic church! They won't let him do it otherwise!

Re: Catholic church

I think if you tell the church that you go there they won't care. I live in Franklin Square & my church is in Queens Village (there's about 7 catholic churches in-between) they asked me why I wanted them & I explained how if I am going to mass I go there. Which is the truth I lived in Q.V. all my life & I went to school there & had every holy event in that church. They were more flattered then anything.

Re: Catholic church

The church I was married in knew that i was not a parish member and didtn really care. Every parish has a different policy on this - just call around and see.

Re: Catholic church

We were married at St. Thomas More in Hauppauge. I nor my parents are members there, and they gave us no problems. I don't remember where Fox Hollow's is, so I'm not sure if this helps you. We also met with St. Joseph's in Ronkonkoma, and they also didn't have a problem with us not being members....

JenC

Re: Catholic church

We are getting married at St.Phililp & James RCC in St.James where my step-father goes. We don't even live in St.James. However, we live in Port Jeff and INfant Jesus in PJ won't let us get married there---every parish has different 'rules'.

Re: Catholic church

You can always have another priest marry you in your own parish.

Re: Catholic church

I am getting married in St. James in Seaford... I am NOT catholic and my FH is NOT a member of that Church. All we had to do was hand in my baptismal certificate, FH updated baptismal certificate AND my FH HAS to get a letter from his parish that he is 'allowed' to get married at another Church. And of course Pre Cana, but we're not up to that yet Forum mail me if you have any questions

Re: Catholic church

Tammy,

I know exactly what you're saying... I'm getting married @ St. Brigid's church in Westbury. This parrish is very good ... it's close enough to Fox Hollow ... they would not give you a problem at all. I would give them a call ... you could ask to speak w/ Fr. Ralph or Fr. Jack. Tell them how you feel or you could just go in and become a parishoner. The church is gorgeous, you'd love it.

Good luck!

Re: Catholic church

Thanks for all the advice. I'm going to call around and see the responses I get. I will definitely check out St. Brigid's, it sounds great.

Re: Catholic church

I think that if you can prove you're Catholic (baptismal certificate) and you do the pre-cana and you pay them the 'offering' fee they require, you can pretty much get married at most any church. At least, that's what I've heard.

Personally, I've also always envisioned my wedding in a church, but now am wondering if I maybe should have looked at other Christian denominations...Catholic churches have way too many stipulations once you do book them!

Re: Catholic church

I must say that the only stress that I have had so far during my planning has been with the church! They won't return phone calls and keep changing what they tell me. It really makes me mad, since I am not even using one of the parish priests...so pretty much I am using my parish church and that is it. I am having the chaplain from my HS say my mass. They are giving me issues about when I can have my rehearsal and when I cannot. Wedding is on Sun, and they are now telling me I can only have the rehearsal on Thursday, when they orgianlly told me Friday. Wouldn't really be an issue, except for the fact that 2/3 of our BP is from out of town as is FI family! Nothing but problems and then they are quite on top of making sure they get their donation payment! Just had to vent!

Re: Catholic church

d-

Where are you getting married ... I'm so sorry to hear that you're having this problem ... My BP is from out of town also, and they were able to accomodate me on a Fri. night. And you're so close to your date now!!!!

Re: Catholic church

Sacred Heart in Merrick. I'm sure it will all work out in the end since the parish priest doesn't even have to be at the reahearsal! My parents may drop in the rectory one of these days to have a face to face conversation (since I live out of town). It is just uneccesary nonsense from the church in my opinion. And if worse comes to worse and they say we can't do it and that the church will be locked...i'll just send my brother up the block to prop the door open!! Ha!

Re: Catholic church

very funny just as long as you have a good outlook on it, it will all work out, I'm sure. but I know I wouldn't want to be dealing w/it at this point. you'd think more parishes would be welcoming and accomodating ... it's really terrible that what it comes down to is the $$ in these places.