Catholic Church Annulment (vent) URRRR

i know someone who got married this summer and they had a lot of trouble finding a priest because the groom had been divored in the jewish religion and the catholic church wouldn't recognize it as a divorce and insisted he was still married.
they are VERY particular about those things!
sorry you're having such a hard time!!

Thanks Lori...I mean to be honest I was going to do the annulment more so for him (& his mom) but after all the nonsense and the aggravation, I'm not truly up for it (maybe we'll do it for down the road & get 're-married' in the Catholic church) but for now, I just don't see it happening. I'm going to have a talk w/ the FI when he gets up (he works nights).

Just frustrating....even more so b/c I teach in a Catholic school.

First....breathe.

I have to tell you that I have heard it can take more that 3 years for an annulment to be granted. (It took a friend of DH's family 14 years). It completely depends upon the circumstances of the divorce. Essentially, the person seeking has to prove that there were false pretenses to the marriage, things that were not known before the marriage. Things that in effect prove a difference between the person before marriage and after. Drug abuse is an example of something that could be hidden before marriage that would warrant an annulment.

Now, IMO and I am not going to start a debate on this....the Catholic Church does indeed have it's share of problems, but, their views on this have never changed. They don't believe that marriage is something that can be undone. They will not change this belief for people that want to get married under their roof again, without the appropriate procedures followed. A lot don't agree with this, but most of the time...and I AM NOT saying that this is the case with you, people seek annulments for selfish reasons. Wanting to get married in a pretty church, wanting to make believe something never happened when it did, even if it is a mistake for various reasons. Marriage is a sacrament, not just a contract to them, and it's this very rule regarding annulments that makes it very evident that they never want marriage entered into lightly.

Have you considered calling another Diocese? Do you have a family Priest that can guide you through this process and help you with the options?

There are also Priests that will perform ceremonies outside the church...have you looked into this?

I feel your pain. My FH has been married before and the church basically didn't want any part of our day..........however, for $2000 they would do us the service of annulling his first marriage. We opted to say forget it - it just isn't that important to us.

Our solution is that we went to a Lutheran church and they said they would be happy to marry us. Their theory was that we are going to get married no matter what so why not there?

Maybe try contacting some Lutheran churches or unitarian churches in your area. You'll still have the church wedding that you want with a lot less hassle and stress.

Good luck!!!! FM me if you have any questions!

My brother's took about a year to do. He did an annulment through the state and the church.
It was a pain in the a$$.
It is ridiculous what they charge, and that they will do anything for $$$$.
Have you tried looking into another church??
Lots of HUGS

Cin ... I feel for ya ...

We're just getting married by a judge and will get our marriage recognized by the catholic church when the anullment goes through.

I can't recall the person I spoke with at Rockville Diocese - I think it was Nan. She gave me the name of a local priest who I had to call to make an appt with and that's what got the process started. Try going straight to your local priest or deacon. They can start the paperwork, and my priest was good about the money - I had to give him $200 to begin with but it was a check made out to the church (which can be a tax deduction) and he said I could pay whatever I wanted for as long as I needed to pay it off.

Have you tried an 'American Catholic Church?' FH and I are looking into one, more for a selfish reasonh than , we want to get married on the grounds of East Wind, and since a Roman Catholic won't preform the ceremony outside of the 4 walls of the church, someone suggested the American Catholic Church to us.

Ladies, thank you all for your suggestions....

Apparently b/c I was married & live in Queens (& ex too) we have to go through Brooklyn. It's more the attitude I got from the woman and her telling me not to plan on getting married for 3 years?!

Also being that the fiance & I are not overly religious (mass on holidays, etc.), it would be selfish to go through the process JUST to get married in the church.

I've been looking into Lutheran/Episcopal churches in LI (can anyone tell me the difference?)

Can anyone suggest one of the above on the South Shore?

Thanks again ladies. :)

3 years? It took my FH approximately a year for his and $200 in administrative fees. (It can go faster if your ex-husband sends back the form the church mails out and writes 'no contest' on it. )

It is a royal pain in the arse, from the writeups to going before the tribunal, but I can't see the process taking three years. You just have to follow through. My FH would call up the diocese to see where he stood at each part.