So it seems that every church has an excuse not to marry me. My childhood church? Oh, you don't live here anymore? Sorry! Even though my brothers were alter boys. The church where I live? Oh, your not officially registered here? Nope. If it was just up to me, I wouldn't care, but my mom...oh my mom. Is anyone else experiencing this? Has anyone found a place that is more open to marrying randoms? I would love suggestions! I'm getting married at the Milleridge but if necessary I would **** up some traveling...
Lsorrent
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
My church is VERY lenient...I haven't been there since I received confirmation AND my FH isn't Catholic. We aren't having any problems at all. In fact, we've already finished pre-cana! I know they definitely take non-parishioners too.
It's Holy Name of Mary in Valley Stream. FM me if you want more info.
NYYankeeGirl72
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
My church is lenient too!!! It is St. Thomas the Apostle Church in West Hempstead. It is the one located on Westminster Road. St . Thomas has a chapel in West Hempstead as well.
tmcnair414
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
I thought I was going to have a problem because I am not catholic, but luckily I had no problems at all. The church I am getting married at is St. Sylvesters and it is in Medford.
HurricaneGirl
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
The first church I looked at was like that, and I couldn't believe it b/c I was registered there, had my confirmation there and they still snubbed me!
The next church was very welcoming, but the pre-cana process is kind of annoying. I'm getting married at Saint. Raphael's in East Meadow.
kater08
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
I had the church my parents go to weekly (for the past 30 years) snub me b/c my family wasn't on their list of weekly donors!!!!!!!
I was horrified. Needless to say, my parents have switched churches.
cavvento
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
My friends had some similar trouble and lucked out in St. Mary's Church in Roslyn, which is not super far from your RH. Maybe check them out.
love82110
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
St. Rose of Lima in massapequa takes non-parishoners. GL!
Soon2bMrsH
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
we are getting married at the church i made all my sacraments in, but i moved and havent gone to church there in about 10 years. and the church i live near, im not registered at, i called them for the letter and they gave me no problem at all. and FH chuch gave him no problems either getting the letters.
hope you find a church!!
2010 Princess
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
The Community Church of East Williston. Not cheap, but they will marry you. No pre-cana required.
Mommy2BeBride
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
My church is extremily lenient! I havent been there since Confirmation, but they are still marrying FH & I.
FutureMrsF2010
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
Can't you register as a parishioner at the church that you want? I had to do this to get my son registered for religion classes and all I had to do was fill out a census form
FutureMrsLMS
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
I wouldn't consider their actions 'snubbing', its the policies of most Catholic Churches to only give marriage ceremonies to brides/grooms who are registered parishioners.
My parents knew all this and specifically registered at a certain parish in Queens when I was 5 years old because they were afraid of my not being able to get married in a church. My parents were unable to get married by the Church because they weren't registered anywhere (they came from another country) and that was back in 1973. They ended up getting married in City Hall. Things haven't really changed that much since then.
I contacted various churches in Queens and Nassau County and most simply told me, 'honey, please call the parish where you registered or where you were baptized or confirmed'.
I called my Church where I had my confirmation and attended Catholic School for 8 years and the Priest there tells me he needed permission from my CURRENT Parish (in Nassau) to have my wedding at that Church!
FH is fortunate that his parents are registered members of the Parish at St. Christopher's in Baldwin. His dad goes to Sunday mass every week and the Deacon knows him. FH isn't religious at all, but because FH's parents are known at hte Parish, the Deacon was more than happy to assist us.
I believe this is just the policy of the Church and why so many couples don't bother getting married by the Church and instead, get married at the Reception Hall by an officiant.
The other non-sense is going through Pre-Cana (something I had no idea existed until a year ago) and FOCCUS (not required by my Church)...so its no wonder Church Weddings is really falling out of style lately.
halfbaked
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
I had a few problems at first, but then found a church I really like and they were extremely lenient! It's in Queens, but FM me if you're interested!
Tracey1979
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
I had a different problem. FH is divorced, filed for a church annulment 1.5 years ago, and she very recently fought it, and if it's granted, won't be in time. Church was not at all helpful in moving the process along, and allowed his ex to delay at every step of the way
Im_My_Own_Princess
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
we're getting married at St. Patricks in Bay Shore.. they asked why we chose there and I told them, my aunt got married there and I've always wanted to.. he didn't like that answer too much, but said that for members the price is $X and for non-members the price is $XX... sooo.. its a little more money. I'm sure they'd do the same for everyone.
Tetelove
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was wondering about this issue also:
Im Christian but FH is Catholic. We really havent given thought to having our wedding in a Catholic church but I was wonering if that would be an issue since im not Catholic. What do you ladies think?
Diana508
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
Yes, I got snubbed twice and dealt with nasty people on the phone. Then we had a priest where we thought we were going to get married tell us he'd rather shoot himself than to attend another wedding. Nice for a priest to compare a celebration of marriage to a lifetime in hell.
After he told us he couldn't marry us, he asked us for a $30 donation b/c we took the Foccus questionnaire (just took it, like he proctored it). I didn't want to fight over 30 bucks so I sent it to him.
After 2.5 weeks of not depositing it, I simply asked him if he had received it b/c it hadn't been cashed. My tone was very nice i.e. Good Morning, Please let me know if it was received. I noticed it hadn't been cashed and wanted to make sure....
His reply was, 'It was received, thanks. I'd like to think the Catholic church isn't as efficient as the corporate world as we are focusing on the larger dimensions of life.' A yes we received it would've sufficed.
It took them over 6 weeks to deposit. I'd assume that for security purposes, they make deposits weekly. He was very difficult and put a very bad taste into my very-Catholic FH's mouth.
Now, we're getting married at our RH. I think it's so unfortunate that so many people get put off by this. I know a few people that've had bad experiences as well and turned away from the Church.
kater08
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
Posted by Diana508
Yes, I got snubbed twice and dealt with nasty people on the phone. Then we had a priest where we thought we were going to get married tell us he'd rather shoot himself than to attend another wedding. Nice for a priest to compare a celebration of marriage to a lifetime in hell.
After he told us he couldn't marry us, he asked us for a $30 donation b/c we took the Foccus questionnaire (just took it, like he proctored it). I didn't want to fight over 30 bucks so I sent it to him.
After 2.5 weeks of not depositing it, I simply asked him if he had received it b/c it hadn't been cashed. My tone was very nice i.e. Good Morning, Please let me know if it was received. I noticed it hadn't been cashed and wanted to make sure....
His reply was, 'It was received, thanks. I'd like to think the Catholic church isn't as efficient as the corporate world as we are focusing on the larger dimensions of life.' A yes we received it would've sufficed.
It took them over 6 weeks to deposit. I'd assume that for security purposes, they make deposits weekly. He was very difficult and put a very bad taste into my very-Catholic FH's mouth.
Now, we're getting married at our RH. I think it's so unfortunate that so many people get put off by this. I know a few people that've had bad experiences as well and turned away from the Church.
Its a shame they behave this way. It is really going to turn a ton of people away from Catholicism.
decemberbride
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Re: Catholic Church? Anyone else getting snubbed?
The only problem I had was when I first started looking was finding a church that would marry us during lent , but I ended up changing our date to the day after Christmas.
Sacared Heart in Island Park lets people out of parish marry there and the priest is super nice I know that might be far away from your RH. Really cute chruch
Our Holy Redeemer Church in Freeport very accommodating church We had to do our pre canna with them since there was an issue with our church. I would give them a call.
