OK-I'm having a dilemma. I thought I was set on having our ceremony at our reception site - Giorgio's. It is beautiful, and we're getting married the end of August, so we can have an amazing ceremony outside.
I'm starting to have second thoughts. My FI never wanted a church wedding so I kind of just figured we would always get married at the reception site. Neither of us are very religious- meaning we don't attend church every Sunday- but that doesn't mean I am not religious in my heart. He is Lutheran and never really thought of a big church wedding. There are so many things I love about a church wedding (it's traditional, wouldn't see my FH before the ceremony, my Mom would be thrilled, and it makes one of the most special days of our lives last a little longer).
One major reason we are getting married at Giorgio's is the commute. We live in Seaford and that is the area that most of our guests will be traveling from. I hate to ask them to go to our church in Seaford, then drive all the way out to Giorgio's. We figured it would be easier just to have the ceremony and the reception all in the same place since it is kind of a hike. But now I am seeing that some people get married at churches out on the island even though they do not belong to that parish.
I'm torn and I really need some insight. I know some people will be adamant about having a church wedding- like my mom- but I need to hear all sides. Thank you!!!
kaw2be
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
I plan on getting married in a church for very similar reasons as you. I am Catholic, he is presbyterian but plan on getting married in an episcopol church. Many of the protestant churches are more relaxed about marrying non members. For your guests, I would just try to plan the ceremony not too early since it's an area they're unfamiliar with. You can certainly look for churches near Giorgios and than give your guests some ideas of things to do inbetween ceremony and reception.
sandr325
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Re: Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
If most of your guest live in Seaford, they will go to the church and then go home and change for the reception. I don't think that this would be a problem for your guests. We have a 3.5 hour break between the end of the church cermony and the beginning of the cocktail hour.
One decision of getting married in church is that this is my church for my entire life. I feel very connected that from baptism to confirmation, I have celebrated all my sacraments in this church.
Overall my suggestion is go with your gut. You have enough time to figure everything out. Start looking at churches and then make your decision.
Bride2Be78
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
I say go with your heart. If neither one of you have a tie to the church and dont mind getting married at the venue then go for it. You still dont have to see the groom before the ceremony if you dont want to. We got married at our venue and it was very convenient for us and our guests. We saved a ton of money on limos, and invitation inserts.
JBN81012
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
i say get married where YOU want to get married. If you want to find a closer catholic church near gorgios, st. louis de montfort in sound beach is beautiful and very very nicely decorated!!! I used to have my elementary school plays there sometimes.
:) again- decide whats best for you!
LisaReyes
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
I am very traditional and I went with a church. There will be 2.5 hours in between the ceremony and CH, but I made sure the hotel was within 10 minutes of the church so people can change & relax during the time between. Definitely go with your heart. I truly believe that the guests at your wedding will be happy with whichever you choose. Seaford to Gorgios is a little bit of a hike (not outrageous), but maybe find a hotel block near Gorgios. Good luck!
2013Bride
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
I was originally planning to get married at the RH, but my Mother brought up some good points that swayed our decision. (We're both Catholic, we both made all of our sacraments, why would we not make this last one together in a church?) While I do have a 'home-base' church (location wise), it is not where I wanted to get married. We looked into churches close to our RH that allowed non-parish members to get married & we fell upon a super welcoming, beautiful church that we are so happy with! And it's about 5-10 minutes from our RH. Go with your gut, but know that yes, if you wanted to, I'm sure you can find a church close to your RH that would welcome you & your fiance' to get married at.
I definitely wanted a church wedding, not because I'm particularly religious, but because I think it would just feel weird to me if I got married in any other setting. Like something was missing.
My home parish is in Williston Park, his is in Farmingdale. Neither one is exactly near Port Jefferson, where our RH is. And neither of us feel a connection to our parishes, so we opted to book a church in Port Jefferson. It's easier on our guests and we don't have to worry about anybody missing cocktail hour or something!
You have to do what makes you happy, but you do want to consider your guests, too. As long as your heart isn't set on having the ceremony in your home parish and nowhere else, then I think this is a great idea.
melnmatt2013
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
I think you need to do whatever is going to make you happy and work out best for you and your FH. From a guests perspective obviously it is so much more convenient to only have to go to one location and one time. I would say if you do opt for the church don't be surprised if some people miss it. To be honest, I have definitely gotten invites in the mail and been like ugh brutal church in the afternoon and wedding at night! The far distance and time gap is a lot to ask of people. I have skipped churches and only gone to receptions if the travel or time constraints were too much to ask. The people very close to you will be there no matter what though and at the end of the day its your day and you need it to be exactly how you envisioned it so make sure whatever you decide is what you truly want for yourself!!!
db276952
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
I would go with the church personally. I am catholic and my FH is Jewish so to keep the peace I decided to go with a RH wedding. It kind of makes me sad. I always envisioned myself walking down the aisle of my church :( But, it was just way easier to do it at the RH. I really don't like the idea of seeing him beforehand either :( I even bought a second dress (less fancy so he wouldnt see me all dressed up, then sold it because I didnt want pictures in that dress, and now I am considering rebuying one because I just want to have 'that' moment) If I had a church wedding none of this would be an issue lol!
yelhsa41
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
Thank you ladies!! These are all great points!! I will have to really weigh the pros and cons I guess... I never thought that not having a church wedding would bother me, but it is. I need to see what will work out the best... Thanks again!!
Kristin31613
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
I like a church better but that's my opinion. You wouldn't be the firstperson to do what you are thinking. Most people at the church are those closest to you, they should not mind!
canoli
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
Its your day. Do what makes you happy. I live in babylon my church is in queens and reception is in westbury. Were going to make it work. The important people will come to where ever the ceremony is. Dont stress over it.
Karin
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
We initially looked at RH with the idea that we would get married there. But within a short time, we both realized that a church wedding would be more meaningful to us. I am very glad we made the decision to have a church wedding. We are both Catholic but FH doesn't practice at all while I do go to Mass every Sunday. We are getting married in a church that is not in our parish because we live in the city. It took awhile to find the right place but it all came together. Having said all that, I have been to some lovely RH weddings. I think it really depends on what you will feel best about.
JAAMS
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Re: Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
I haven't posted on the boards in awhile, but I saw this and it reminded me of my own situation when DH and I got married.
If you feel as though you want to go with the church, I'd say do it. DH and I were in almost the exact same situation, and I realized I wanted the church only three months before the wedding. I changed my mind because I realized that as I aged, I would probably become more religious...and I have since then. Also...I didn't feel right not getting married in a church and then turning around and raising my children Catholic. It felt like the right foundation to start a family. I know now that if I had chosen to get married at the RH, I would've been very upset with my decision.
scottsbride
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
We are getting married in a Methodist church as we had issues with the Catholic Church due to my FH being divorced. We have a 3.5 hour gap between the church and cocktail hour so people can go back to the nearby hotel and my mom will also be having some finger foods at her home nearby if people want to get changed or take a nap or hang out.
we are getting married at the RH. Neither of us are religious at all and we feel it would be a sham if we got married in a church.
We are having our good friend marry us. He has watched us grow as a couple and I feel like that is more meaningful to us.
FH and I havent discussed yet if we want to do a 'reveal' photoshoot or if he first wants to see me walking down the aisle. I'm leaving that up to him.
msktomrsc
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Ceremony: Church VS. Reception Hall
i didn't want to do my ceremony at my rh but at first i didn't want it at a church either. you're at giorgio's so you can look into the same place i'm most likely using, jamesport meeting house. you can bring in whoever you want, and its a very historic location. fh just told me though that his ceremony has to be catholic, im not so religious, but its something that is important to him so i want to find a catholic church that will work with us. check out the meeting house though!
