Chicago, update - bittersweet.

A few weeks ago I mentioned that I was going out to Chicago for a college professor job interview. Everyone was so nice, wishing me well and telling me about Chicago - so I thought I'd give an update. . .

I was offered a full time, tenure track job!!!!

this is the bittersweet part - I'm not taking it.

From what I saw of Chicago - I LOVED the city. But the school just wasnt the right match for me. DH and I had decided that if I loved the school, we were moving out there - but I was pretty much 'eh' about the place - and for DH and I to quit our jobs and move out there and leave NYC, I'd just have to like it more than I do.

I know it's the right decision, but I feel MISERABLE about the fact that I'm turning them down. I've waited so many years to finish grad school and get a tenure track job - only to turn one down? What if I never get another offer? I have a renewable college teaching job right now - but ideally I want a tenure track job.

The only way I can describe the feeling is that it's like I turned down a marriage proposal because I dont love the guy enough - and I'm scared I'll never get another chance.
Does that even make sense?

You made a very hard decision. I know the feeling, You can still interview for other jobs out there. It has to be right.

If you love Chicago keep plugging away.

Good for you for knowing yourself and what is important to you.

Yes, that makes complete sense but I would say your making the right decision because it wasn't what you expected and like you said, you don't love it enough to leave NYC.

Hang in there, I am sure another opportunity will knock on your door within the near future!

Good luck