child care

are you thinking about this?

What have you decided?

We cannot afford to lose my salary and i hate to think of my child in daycare sooo young...

This has been one of my biggest fear when thinking about ttc

Well my father is retired and has always been a big help in taking care of the grandchildren so my hope is to drop the baby off with him 2-3x a week and than maybe his parents once a week. But I am quitting my job in August to go to grad school full time next year, so if we had a summer baby I would be home at least the summer(maybe longer if I don't find a job)

Even though we are currently TTC, this remains my biggest worry about the entire issue of having a child

We also cannot afford to lose my salary, and I'm not entirely sure we will be able to depend on my parents full-time for daycare. They might be able to swing 2-3 days but I cannot expect more than that

I don't have any alterative employment options, the best salary I can make is here, in NYC, so working from home or working closer to home defeats the purpose as well

I do know that daycare is going to be our solution and I know that its also horribly expensive . I personally wouldn't even know where to begin with this aspect of it all, and yes it continue to scare the c(*& outta me

I too NEVER thought that I'd be faced with the dilemma of someday having to leave my 3 month old infant with a daycare center/sitter or nanny, but its honestly going to be the only way we can swing this

I HAD to put my son in daycare when he was 6 weeks old. Luckily it's a wonderful daycare, and he loves going there. It helped during the first year because I went on my lunch break everyday to go BF him. It made it a lot easier emotionally for both of us! I too was upset about the whole daycare thing but we had an incident happen with my mom while I was in the hospital and that in turn, messed us up with daycare. She was suppose to watch my son 3 days a week when we first had him. So we had 2 weeks to find a daycare. It was very stressful, but it worked out wonderfully! The thing is, you do what you have to do, and just keep saying you're doing it so your child will have everything he/she needs. Now my son is almost 16 months old, and I am soooo glad he's in daycare. He's learned so much! Good luck!

DH and I just went through this... we're about 21 weeks along, and I can't stop working full-time. I'm an attorney, and my income is too much to drop, and I guess part of it is also an ego thing - I've worked so hard, I can't just give it all up. My firm gives me 8 weeks paid maternity leave and that's it, and because we're less than 50 employees, I'm not covered under FMLA

At first Dh and I were considering an au-pair (someone Israeli so the baby would get used to hearing hebrew - DH is Israeli). But, I had a few concerns - first it would cost more than we think when you add in the cost of flying them over, getting a car, adding them to insurance, living expenses, etc. But, more than that, Dh and I just don't feel comfortable having another adult live in our house with us. Most important, I'm concerned that the baby will grow a significant attachment to the au-pair, which will obviously upset me. So then we started looking into daytime Nanny's, but again, I don't want my baby to become overly attached to one person, and it costs SO MUCH MONEY!!!

I finally did some research a couple of weeks ago, and found 5 or 6 very reputable synogogue's in our area that provide infant care at a tremendously reasonable price ($225 per week for 10 hours per day). Although it's going to be hard, I think this is the best solution because the baby will interact with various adults and other babies, instead of growing an attachment to one other adult. I like the idea that my baby will have the social interaction.

It's definitely hard, but it is doable. I look at it this way - my mom raised me as a working mom, and I was put into infantcare/daycare after about 3 months, and I turned out just wonderful No, but really, I grew up with a very strong sense of independence, and with an even stronger respect for my mom as a working mother, and I attribute most of my drive in my career to observing my mother all those years. Knowing that, it makes it a little easier...

Good Q. This is also something that scared the he!! out of us when we were pg. We thought it out, and knew that we didn't want to have our child grow up with strangers... Always felt that if my kid came out messed up, that it was ME who messed him/her up .
We still don't know the answer to this, but I'm sure that with time, we'll know what the best decision would be for us. One thing is for sure, we'd weigh out the financial aspects: if we're better off (with $) with me staying at home versus paying $$$ for daycare, or vice versa, then would make the decision easier for us to make.

We've discussed this at some length already even though I'm not PG... I guess luck for me, a few of my friends already have kids and are back to work. My best friend has her son in daycar - it's run out of someones house and the 2 caretakers are retired teachers. Her son LOVES it. So...I'm going to go there when the time comes....IF they are taking new kids. Right now they are now.

My Dad wouldnt want to watch a baby 5 days a week plus he is a smoker and I wouldnt want the baby at his house and he wouldnt want to be at my hosue all day LOL

My Mom is in VA

My inlaws are INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!

we have discussed this. My mom works part time, and she said that she would quit her job to watch our kids.
Only thing is they live 30 mins. away. So my mom and MIL would alternate days.

this is s MAJOR concern of ours.
with a mtg - having a child is a blessing -but we just dont see how we can afford it.

i have looked into childcare on Long Island & it runs btw 250-350 weekly & most close by 6:00pm - i dont in from the city until 7pm

it is very depressing

I work from home so I will either continue to work, work part time, or (what I really want) - just quit finally. I hate my boss, so I can't wait to quit, but the $$ is much better than I would get with any other co. so I keep at it.

DH makes enough that we could live on his salary alone, but it would be sooo weird for me to have someone else paying for my underwear!!!!!!!!!!!!! (not the fancy stuff, the industrial-type!!)

Parents will not be an option for us because we will be living over an hour away (at least) from both sets of parents. And we will need my salary as well.

Since DH teaches college, he has a nice, flexible schedule. He works two very long days but has two days off and one day when he only has office hours from about 10-2. So we will have 2.5/3 days of daycare (and DH is also off from mid-Dec to mid-Jan). So he will be a part time SAHD, which makes me happy.

My SIL has her two kids in daycare and they are really well-adjusted, happy kids- I think day care has been good for them. DH's nephew was so shy but daycare has really helped him blossom. So at this point I am not too worried; I just feel lucky that it will be a part-time arrangement.

This is a good Question Jenn..Im glad I got to see other peoples Answers/solutions.

Im sooo worried about it.

Right now, since we are TTC, I applied for anothe job at work, taking a grade or status decrease, but its work from home full time after 7 months so I will be working form home starting in January if I get the job.

Yet that still isint the best solution as my pay will stay at this salary for a LONG Time and I cant imagine when I have say a 1 year old learning to work being attached to the computer for 8 hours a day, but Im thinking of getting a babysitter/nany at that time because its still cheaper then full time day care at a daycare center.

Its such a hard decision. I would love to be a SAHM but I couldnt, not for a long long long time with our salaries.

But my mom raised me alone and worked always full time and ...one- I cannot remember any of my early day care experience so it didnt jade me and if I did form attachments to anyone, I dont remember...and then I went to school and was home when my mom was home, so I try to remember that when I think of the day care option.

Yes your children may form attachments and while it would break our/my heart , its actually GOOD for the babies/kids to prevent shyness, learn trust etc and by the time and liek I said long term memory does not form at that age so their earliest memories will eventually be school days.

ughhghghgh..this is hard huh?

i know many families whose children have had wonderful experiences in day care, and i used to work in day care, so day care it is for us! i'm a teacher & have many weeks off throughout the year so that is a blessing. i too can't imagine leaving a three month old with virtual strangers, but i know that day care is actually a wonderful experiences for infants and children. it will certainly be harder on me than on my child.

i am still clueless...

i am trying to buy a house, afford a house...and i am scared i am not going to be able to afford child care

thanks everyone for talking with me about this....it is nice to know i am not the only one who is concerned with this issue

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Posted by RedHead

i am still clueless...

i am trying to buy a house, afford a house...and i am scared i am not going to be able to afford child care

thanks everyone for talking with me about this....it is nice to know i am not the only one who is concerned with this issue

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Jenn, the only hope that I can give you is that this is always a concern for parents. Even our parents were worried about our care... however, everyone made it work somehow, and you will to. So rest assured, you'll find the right decision for you, when the time comes.

This has been a worry for DH and I also. Right now we both work and my salary is definitely needed. I hope when the time comes we may be in a better $ position that either I can stay home, or take a pay cut and maybe work part time locally close to home (I commute to NYC now)
Unfortunately our parents aren't options due to health reasons or because they still work full time