Children

This is where I become the black sheep of the group: FH and I have both decided that we don't want children. It was pretty difficult going through Pre-Cana and listening to the married couple talk about Natural Family Planning, answering questions in the workbook pertaining to children or growing up and living in a world in general where women who don't want children are perceived as being abnormal. I've been called a hypocrite because I attend and will marry in a Catholic church, and was even told by a former co-worker at a previous job (a Seventh Day Adventist) that I'll go to hell if I don't have children since it;s my sole responsibility as a woman. I don't know if I'm alone in this (I think I am) but wanted everyone's thoughts.

I am crashing, but DH and I do not want children either. Ever. People think we are crazy and tell us we will grow out of that, but lets be serious. We are in our 30s and really love our life the way it is. I love the spontanaity, the financial freedom and just not having to deal with kids

Dont let people make you feel bad about such a personal decision. Its YOUR choice, and they shouldn't be saying anything. I've really stopped being nice about it and people seem to have gotten the point.

Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone

Don't feel like a black sheep. Theres nothing wrong with not wanting to have children, and I definitely dont think its hypocritcal or your sole purpose in life.

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Posted by Chanwich

Dont let people make you feel bad about such a personal decision. Its YOUR choice, and they shouldn't be saying anything. I've really stopped being nice about it and people seem to have gotten the point.

Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone

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This!! It's your decision & personal life. More and more people are getting married and choosing not to have children. You are not alone!

Don't let anyone let you feel like you're doing anything wrong. It's your marriage & you and your FH should be able to live it the way you both want (with or without children). People should just mind their own business.

I'm already getting baby questions from certain family members & I tell them that I'd like to enjoy being married first before having children. That usually shuts them up quick - maybe you should think of a good comeback so they get the point and stop talking?

Don't feel bad or guilty. Are these people going to carry a baby nine months for you? Are they going to give birth for you? Are they going to raise your child for you? No.

It's you body, your life and your choice. You can do whatever you want to with you life.

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Posted by linda_art

HAHAHAA, to the woman who said saying it's your duty, etc. Really? How about she keeps her mouth shut. Ppl are ridiculous. There are so many ppl who dont want kids. I hate people running their mouths.

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Absolutely this! I do want kids but they are seriously a game changer and I always say how nervous and scared I am for that day. Stay strong in your belief that you know what's right for you.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with not wanting children. I think it would be wrong to have a child if you really don't want them. Too many children are brough into this world unwanted I think if you know it's not for you then it's extremely responsible of you to follow your instincts.

My best friend and her husband have made the same choice and they get all the same BS from ignorant people. You've made the decision that's right for your family stick to it and tell anyone who doesn't respect it to kiss your A$$! dont listen to stupid people.

My FH and I have made the decision to not have children. We are practicing Catholic's, and I feel enormous pressure to reproduce. I feel as if we must lie to the church in order to be married within the RC community. Being questioned regarding our decision is difficult, I have found that people automatically assume that you dislike children or that you will change your mind. It is hurtful and I often feel alone in our decision but I know this is about us and our life and we are happy with the way things are. You will never make everyone happy, so it's better to just focus on yourself.
You are not alone and certainly not a hypocrite.

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Posted by ChristineNorah

My FH and I have made the decision to not have children. We are practicing Catholic's, and I feel enormous pressure to reproduce. I feel as if we must lie to the church in order to be married within the RC community. Being questioned regarding our decision is difficult, I have found that people automatically assume that you dislike children or that you will change your mind. It is hurtful and I often feel alone in our decision but I know this is about us and our life and we are happy with the way things are. You will never make everyone happy, so it's better to just focus on yourself.
You are not alone and certainly not a hypocrite.

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Thank you ladies for all of your support and kind words!

There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. You are not alone in your decision, plenty of people feel that way. As for it being your duty, yeah OK

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Posted by LBCJRS1125

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Posted by linda_art

HAHAHAA, to the woman who said saying it's your duty, etc. Really? How about she keeps her mouth shut. Ppl are ridiculous. There are so many ppl who dont want kids. I hate people running their mouths.

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Absolutely this! I do want kids but they are seriously a game changer and I always say how nervous and scared I am for that day. Stay strong in your belief that you know what's right for you.

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THIS!!!