I have beening thinking about this bascially since I got engaged... I have many younger cousins and just always figured they would attend my wedding, but now I'm rethinking it. There are 22 children between the ages of 3 months and 12 yrs in my family and I would love them to all come, but once u add in the 4 younger cousins my fh has it is 26 kids!
Has anyone been to a wedding with so many kids? Or even a wedding with a lot of kids?? I would really love them all to come, but I just don't know how it would be with sooooo many kids.
Any advice would be great. I really need help on this one!
thiadora
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Re: Children at the wedding
In the wedding of a very good friend of the family.
She has one sister (and one brother). Her DH comes from a family of 8 children. She also has a lot of female friends. There was just no way that she could have all of these women in her BP. So this is what they did.
She only had a MOH and her husband only had a BM. Then they had all of their neices and nephews as flower girls and ring bearers in the processional. It wasn't quite 26 children, but it was very cute. None of the children came to the reception.
All of her FSILs (now SILs) were part of a 'faux' bridal party. They all wore the same long skirt with a different white top.
SoInLovexox
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Re: Children at the wedding
We came across that situation as well. We have 16 kids which is way too many but ours range between 4 and 16.
We decided only our immediate family would bring their kids. Only our neices and nephews. That way you don't pick & choose certain people who can and cannot bring. Most people understand. I was feeling bad that some couples in my bridal party have a child but they told me they want to have fun & they prefer to leave their child at home.
thiadora
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Re: Children at the wedding
I have to admit right now that I feel like the biggest dork ever I do not know what post I was responding to, but it clearly was not your questions. I think that I'm just tired and strung out.
Well, to actually answer your post. There will be 21 children at our wedding. 10 are 5 and under. (And there are a few teenagers that are counted in the adult #). This decision was really made by the families, not me. I only wanted my first cousins and FH's neices and nephews. But I have grown to be OK with it. If you do it, it does have a snowballing effect.
If I had to choose all or none at this point, I would say all. At this point I cannot image not having them there.
troutster
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Re: Children at the wedding
I'm having my niece and nephew in the bridal party and possibly 3 of my fh first cousins. The rest of the kids are my frist cousins kids.. so my second cousins.. i guess. I love them all dearly and babysit for them often... well and really want them there. My other set of first cousins live in NC and Georgia and I never get to see them and their kids so I would love for them to come also... but I'm just so unsure about soo many young kids. I wouldn't be inviting any other children besides my families. And I would never be able to pick and choose, it just makes people feel bad. I just don't know what to do :(
thiadora: were u bothered that your family kinda decided for you? How does FH feel? my FH loves kids (as i do) but feels it is just too many
maralynne
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Re: Children at the wedding
I acctually went to a wedding with alot of kids.. it was realy not as bad as i thought it would be... even though they were young the bride sat all the children together at 2 or 3 tables... she put out coloring books bubbles dollor store toys ( the table was filled) they put down white paper circles to cover the tables so the kids could color.. Yeah they were a little loud but boy did they amuse themselves! I could say that all of the adults had a good time and the kids had a great time... Do what you think is right for you... -tami
MegLehner
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Re: Children at the wedding
I made a cut off of 12. No kids under the age of 12 allowed! Some people asked about bringing their kids, FSIL has a 1 1/2 year old. Some people were mad - but you cant make everyone happy. I knew if I had kids at the wedding I would be unhappy, so you have to do what is right for you.
thiadora
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Re: Children at the wedding
I realllly do love children. It wasn't about that. If we had only had my first cousins and his neices and nephews, it would have been 9 children total. However, the first cousins that were invited were invited as a family (with children). I just felt that was getting a little bit removed and I didn't want a lot of kids running around and screaming.
My FH and I didn't really talk about it before the guest list was put together. We both assumed that the other wanted the same thing (and you know what they say about assuming. )
So the guest list comes out and here I am in the middle. My side is thinking neices, nephews, cousins and his side was thinking families. Both sets of parents are contributing equally (and footing the bill), and I didn't want to upset anyone.
FH and I did have a talk about it. He explained that as a child he had attended family weddings. He felt that it is a part of growing up. It gives them a sense of belonging. And it really doesn't matter if they have fun. Because that's not what it's all about. It made me feel completely positive about the whole thing.
And my mother came around too. My own OOT cousins are bringing their children, as well.
So now- happy
Jen_n_Dale
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Re: Children at the wedding
I invited kids but only on my side. 2 were in my wedding party but they each had a brothers and sisters. I also invited my couin and her 2 children because they were coming a great distance. There were a total of 7 children. They had so much fun! They were dancing the entire time.
troutster
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It sounds like everything really worked out well. As a child I was invited to all of my first cousins weddings (then again it is still first cousins) and I always thought it was great.
I guess I just worry about there being too much of a focus on the kids, worrying about them running around or fighting. My cousins are all very good (with the exception of one or two) but u put 2 sides of my family together (now 24 of them) and I have no idea how they will be! I just dont' wnat to worry about them or stress over them.
troutster
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Re: Children at the wedding
Tami, That is a great idea having coloring books to help them entertain themselves. Most of my cousins love to dance so that will keep them busy also. Thanks for the help.
Hey do u guys think that an 8:30 reception is too late for them? I wonder how well taht will go over with the kids.
thiadora
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Re: Children at the wedding
Posted by troutster
It sounds like everything really worked out well. As a child I was invited to all of my first cousins weddings (then again it is still first cousins) and I always thought it was great.
I guess I just worry about there being too much of a focus on the kids, worrying about them running around or fighting. My cousins are all very good (with the exception of one or two) but u put 2 sides of my family together (now 24 of them) and I have no idea how they will be! I just dont' wnat to worry about them or stress over them.
All of the children are being seated with their parents. (4 and 5 year olds at a separate table spells D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.) Even if there is an outburst, it won't be a problem. There is going to be a PARTY going on and music.
I remember going to my first cousin (once removed)'s wedding when I was about 8 and my sister 5. It was a big family, Italian wedding. I had a great time and I got to wear a really pretty dress too.
troutster
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That is how all of my family weddings were and I just want my little cousins to be a part of that and remember it also, like we do. I just wish there weren't so many lol
thiadora
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Posted by troutster
That is how all of my family weddings were and I just want my little cousins to be a part of that and remember it also, like we do. I just wish there weren't so many lol
You still have a little bit of time to decide. You should think about it a little longer. If you decide no kids, you will have to deal with the family as a united front. Better to hold off until your 100% certain.
Make a pro and con list. I think that as you think about it, you will come to know the answer to your question.
Good luck
LuvMyMichael
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Re: Children at the wedding
We decided not to have anyone under the age of 13 at our wedding.
The only one is my Jr. BM (Emily) is 10, but she is so well behaved and she is my 'little girl'....she's my god child and she's so cute!
babybliss
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I don't think children at cocktail hour and reception is a problem, it's supposed to be celebratory afterall. It's the ceremony I'd be concerned about.
How many times have you heard babies cry or kids getting restless and loud during a ceremony when the bride and groom are trying to recite their vows? That would just tick me the hell off. It is so disruptive to a supposedly beautiful moment of your day/life.... I definitely do not want kids present at the ceremony.
Maybe set up a play pen for the kids to chill at during the ceremony (away from the ceremony area) and reunite everyone afterwards?
David'sbride
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Only FH's 5 nieces and nephews. If we went beyond that with my first cousins' kids only we would be at 51 kids under age 12.... no way, I'm only inviting 100 people. I love kids, I'm a teacher, but IMHO I do not want them at my wedding. Also most parents want the excuse to have a good time and get a baby sitter... at least that is what they have told me.
rrdm782004
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Too many children can ruin you wedding. I children , but only the children that were in the BP.
kissy27
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We have about 15 kids between the two families..FH & I decided that we would have 2 children that will be at our wedding...One is my flowergirl who will be 3 on our wedding day & my other cousin who is a groomsmen & he will be 14...
I don't want the parents of the children to have to worry about their kids & not enjoy their time. Most of our familiy agreed & would rather leave their children at home so they can enjoy their time out as adults!
Don't worry about offending people, because you always will & you are only suppose to please yourself, it is your day...JMO
anjerandunder
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Re: Children at the wedding
well fh has 4 kids of his own and they will be in the bridal party along with my 3 neices and 1 nephew..we are also having a kids table with activities on it including a candy tree as a centerpiece..i am asking my good friends sister who is 21 to bring a friend and be the babysitter for the table..they can come to the after party at the hotel and i'll take care of their drinks for them for helping out..i can't wait to have all the kids there..its a celebration and i couldn't dream of not having my neices or fh's children there..its all a personal decision though..
