Do not get me wrong, I absolutley love children, but me and FH got into a disagreement last night.... His SIL is pregnant and the baby will be 14 months old at the wedding, and he says they will be offeneded if we do not invite them with there newest addition. I do not agree with this. I was never invited to a wedding of a relative when I was a child . The first wedding I went to I was 14 years old. Her other son will be in the wedding, he will be the ring bearer and 2 1/2 years old. I am spending a lot of money on the wedding, and so is FH, we are paying for this ourselves, and the thought of a screaming baby and the wedding ruining everything gives me nightmares! I was told to talk to her and that if the baby gets crazy at the wedding they are supposed to step out, but all is fair and damage is done, with the video, etc. Also, eveything is always about them, and they just do not get it is about me and Fh that day. Help!!!
jennbaby
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Re: Children @the wedding
well since your wedding is a bit away, give it time to see what happens. Talk to FH closer to the time and explain to him how you feel again. I wouldn't want a small baby at my wedding either. I have guests coming to mine that have children and they are getting babysitters, the only 2 kids at our wedding will be our FG & RB.
IrishTracy
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Re: Children @the wedding
I disagree at 14 months most babies will be fine! You ususally find them at the end of the night either in a corner or under a table sleeping!! Maybe I'm bias since I have a child. But if my FH sister got married & didn't invite our son I'd be p*ssed!!! Some parents might want the day for thmselves & not take the children. If it's a friends child I'd say no. But a family member I would have to say invite them. You will be so busy you won't even realize they are there! That's my $.02!
aug9bride
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Re: Children @the wedding
j
debbus
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Re: Children @the wedding
We decided not to have children at our wedding and it didn't go over well with my FSIL. She has three children she takes everywhere! What helped us decide is we knew if we invited one child we would have to invite them all. In our family that would have ended up as 27 children! Might as well have made it a kids party instead of a wedding. I imagined kids sliding all over the dance floor and screaming. No thanks! And if you are on a budget, the hall charges about $45 per child! Good luck and remember... you are NOT going to please everyone, no matter how hard you try, so please yourself.
curly2003
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Re: Children @the wedding
In my opinion, I could not dream of NOT having kids at my wedding. My FI and I come from large Hispanic families and we both have like 10 nephews and nieces each. That's 20 kids and we wouldn't have it any other way. We ADORE them and they are a BIG part of our lives. My cousin recently got married at John Anthonys and he even had a pinata on the balcony outdoors. It was a really nice touch and they were all WELL behaved. I am having 2 kids tables with coloring books and goodies and will try to incorporate them as much as possible. It really makes a wedding fun.
Sonicstef
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Re: Children @the wedding
I completely agree! A 14 month old baby is not old enough to behave herself for 20 solid minutes.
I would talk to her AFTER she has the baby and closer to the wedding. No need to make a stink so early about it.
We had a few children (all above 10 with the exception of FG)...either nieces, nephew or children of my 1st cousins...thats where I drew the line...
then a few weeks before the wedding, a family friend emails me asking if she could bring her 14 month old daughter (her sister and paretns would be at the wedding so no babysitter...) well I did not want this, but also did not want to cause problems with DHs family...so DH said of course!! well she was so cute and so well behaved...I am happy that she did come (it was also an afternoon wedding...so crankiness hadn't set in yet)
But it could have been a disaster...I think you have to see what kind of child the baby is...
LaurenS
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Re: Children @the wedding
I am going through this right now with my sister. She had twins in May and they will be about 5 months old at my wedding. Her other son will be 3 at the wedding and he is going to be my ring bearer. My fiance and I absolutely adore these children, but my FI almost fell on the floor when my sister asked if the babies could go down the aisle with her. ( I am not so hot on the idea either) I would prefer to not have the babies at the wedding because I feel like my sister (who is my MOH) will be worrying about them all night and not enjoy herself. Also the focus will be on the babies all night, and I don't want to sound spoiled and selfish -- but it is my day and my FI's day! But my mom is afraid if I tell her that I am not inviting the babies, it will start world war III. So I am willing to make the exception for very close family, but there will be no other babies there! Good Luck
Karen62794
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Re: Children @the wedding
At first I didn't want any kids at all, but my brother's son will be 4 and of course he will be there. My FH has 3 cousins ages 4, 6 and 10 and they will all come.
I don't think I would want any babies (under the age of 2) there. As a baby and child, I was not invited to any weddings.
Montauk
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Re: Children @the wedding
Ahh, some others with the same thing we are going through right now!! My sister and brother-in-law and Brother and sister-in-law are all in our wedding. My sister had 4 kids and my brother has 2. Well, my mom just told them that the kids should be able to stay for the cocktail hour and then should go. My mom tried to get a babysitter, but after my brother and sister gave her such a hard time about her suggestion, she said forget it I am not worrying about finding you a babysitter. SAme as someone said in the posts above, I know as a child I never went to weddings until I was about 12 or 13.. She told them the same thing as Lauren S. said....she said to them you both had your wedding, today is Dee and Rob's day. The more I thought about it, the more I am stressing about it. With all of them in the wedding party, are they going to have to be running out of pictures and stuff to go take care of a crying child? My nieces and nephews mean everything to me, but this is one day that I can be selfish and not have to worry about everyone else. It is causing some problems and tensions so I am hoping it will all smooth over somehow. It is just nice to know that others are also going through some of the same thing. I would love to hear more responses about what others think. That is why I love these boards!
M&M2004
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Re: Children @the wedding
I'm in the same boat. My FH and I have been pondering inviting kids to the wedding but between us it would add almost 40 additional guests and almost 2000 to the cost of the reception. Since we are paying the total cost of the wedding ourselves, this is a major budget buster! (The caterer will only give 1/2 price meals to between 6 -10 of the kids...not all). Now I'm wondering if we might invite the children over a certain age, say those above the age of 10... In reading alot of the wedding planning books, they say 'Invite all children or none!' I just don't know what to do. I don't want to offend any of my relatives but I just can't afford the additional expense. Most of them understand that in my job I don't make a lot of $$ and I hope they'll understand whatever we decide. I guess one of the girls who posted before me said it best...'you are NOT going to please everyone, no matter how hard you try, so please yourself.'
Lori
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Re: Children @the wedding
The only children that I am having are my nephew - 16 months - our ring bearer, and my FI 2 nieces - our flower girls and his nephew 12 - a 'junior' usher. That is it!!! I have told family members that there are no other children invited and a few from out of town are not coming because of it. I don't care who is offended, it's not a place for children to be.
Cindy
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Re: Children @the wedding
I agree that children do not belong at weddings. I am only having my 7 year old nephew who is the ring bearer. I had major problems with this with my shower. I should say my mom did with FHs family insisting on all kinds of children attending a fancy restaurant. My girlfriend is having major problems with this with her wedding. Good luck
Wendy
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Re: Children @the wedding
I strongly disagree with not having children at a wedding but that is my personal opinion. I would not have considered having my wedding without my entire family there and that included all of my neices and nephews ranging in age from 2-15. They were all very well behaved during the ceremony and yes they did run around during the reception but truthfully I didn't care one bit. They didn't cause trouble and got in no one's way. I expected my siblings to take care of their children and they did. It would not have been the same for me without them there. We are very close and I love them all dearly. To me and my now husband a wedding is about family and missing those 12 beautiful smiling faces would have made my day less special. Some of my favorite pictures from that day are those of the children. However it is all personal preference and that was mine.
jenny11.9
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i agree w. wendy. My sisters children are a blessing, and the memories will last for all of them. Kids will be kids, and I am sure that everybody will understand their 'childlike' etiquette!
Cindy
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I do think brothers and sisters children (nieces and nephews) belong there, but I am talking about cousins childrens, friends children, etc...
