Chinese Brides

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Posted by OY

wow!! thank you! would you mind me asking how many did you buy? tia!!

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We only bought enough for half the guests, basically just my side of the family. We gave $10 to each person. $20 per couple.

My FMIL had a huge fit with me on these cards. Traditionally, only the bride's side should get the cards and not the groom's side. My invitations were sealed and ready to be sent out. When she found out the certificates were in the invites for her family, she ripped opened all the envelopes to pull them out. So just confirm with your family who should get them. That number may vary.

I got my from Fayda face value since I needed only 20 but actually needed less than that since that number includes the groom's family.
Taipan gives 10% discount with a purchase of more than 30 cards.
I read somewhere that a bride was able to get buy 2 get 1 free at Manna Bakery.

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Posted by kataya
Traditionally, only the bride's side should get the cards and not the groom's side.

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I've never heard of this before. Maybe there are different traditions. My mom was going to give the gift card to both sides of the family but I told her not to bother with DH's side because they will never use it. It will go to waste.

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Posted by lucamon

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Posted by kataya
Traditionally, only the bride's side should get the cards and not the groom's side.

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I've never heard of this before. Maybe there are different traditions. My mom was going to give the gift card to both sides of the family but I told her not to bother with DH's side because they will never use it. It will go to waste.

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Neither have I till she called one night screaming on top of her lungs. My side said it doesn't matter. I asked a friend and she confirmed that it should like only go to the bride's side but it's ok to give them to the groom's side as well. The certificates are for the bride's family who was not able to eat the bride's cakes (ga lui pan, marry daughter's cakes) on one of those auspicious days. I learned the hard way when I saw my invitations ripped open.

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Posted by kataya

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Posted by lucamon

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Posted by kataya
Traditionally, only the bride's side should get the cards and not the groom's side.

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I've never heard of this before. Maybe there are different traditions. My mom was going to give the gift card to both sides of the family but I told her not to bother with DH's side because they will never use it. It will go to waste.

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Neither have I till she called one night screaming on top of her lungs. My side said it doesn't matter. I asked a friend and she confirmed that it should like only go to the bride's side but it's ok to give them to the groom's side as well. The certificates are for the bride's family who was not able to eat the bride's cakes (ga lui pan, marry daughter's cakes) on one of those auspicious days. I learned the hard way when I saw my invitations ripped open.

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I'm so sorry about your invites. My mom did the same thing to me. I used the same white envelopes for both american and chinese invites. My mom was furious. She said white envelopes are for funerals. I ended up getting red envelopes for our chinese guests. It was a good thing I didn't address the envelopes yet.

So I have a question. If the groom's family doesn't get the bakery card, do they get anything? I mean, the bakery card is kinda like the favors given out in western weddings.

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Posted by lucamon

I'm so sorry about your invites. My mom did the same thing to me. I used the same white envelopes for both american and chinese invites. My mom was furious. She said white envelopes are for funerals. I ended up getting red envelopes for our chinese guests. It was a good thing I didn't address the envelopes yet.

So I have a question. If the groom's family doesn't get the bakery card, do they get anything? I mean, the bakery card is kinda like the favors given out in western weddings.

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Well, at least it was your mom and you will love her for everything. It was his mom that did it and we didn't have a great start to begin with. His parents also questioned me about the envelopes The envelopes are ivory and they thought it was white too. I was short on envelopes and didn't really care about his family. I gave them replacement envelopes that were bigger than the invitation.

According to his tradition and my friend's family, the groom's side do not get anything. Technically, the bride is not officially part of the family yet so it doesn't mean anything to the groom's side when giving them a gift. But it's all technicality, so I personally think giving a gift to my in laws is not wrong.

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Posted by kataya

It was his mom that did it and we didn't have a great start to begin with. His parents also questioned me about the envelopes

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Definately not a good way to start a marriage. I fought with my mom here and there but we worked things out. Don't sweat the little stuff. I didn't even notice them on my wedding day. Your day will be perfect.

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Posted by lucamon

Definately not a good way to start a marriage. I fought with my mom here and there but we worked things out. Don't sweat the little stuff. I didn't even notice them on my wedding day. Your day will be perfect.

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That was how our relationship started, his mom disliked me from the beginning. So getting married is just a continuation of it. I thought we were cool for a while but then I was proven wrong. Nevertheless, I've learned not to let her upset me. Yes, my day will be perfect. I'm sure I'll have other stuff to worry. Like is her qipao red which would clash with mine

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Posted by kataya

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Posted by lucamon

Definately not a good way to start a marriage. I fought with my mom here and there but we worked things out. Don't sweat the little stuff. I didn't even notice them on my wedding day. Your day will be perfect.

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That was how our relationship started, his mom disliked me from the beginning. So getting married is just a continuation of it. I thought we were cool for a while but then I was proven wrong. Nevertheless, I've learned not to let her upset me. Yes, my day will be perfect. I'm sure I'll have other stuff to worry. Like is her qipao red which would clash with mine

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I never understood the whole red thing. Aren't immediate family members supposed to wear red? Or is it only for the bride? My mom wore a dress that was deep red for my brother's wedding and a fuscia color one for mine.

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Posted by kataya

That was how our relationship started, his mom disliked me from the beginning.

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All I can say is, live far, far away from her after you guys get married. We're 1/2 hour from DH's mom and 1 hour from my mom. It's perfect for now, until we have kids and we need a baby sitter.

uh oh!! family drama.. i have almost the same problems!

my FMIL and FFIL didn't give dowry nor bakery cards. FH is doing everything himself =T

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Posted by lucamon

All I can say is, live far, far away from her after you guys get married. We're 1/2 hour from DH's mom and 1 hour from my mom. It's perfect for now, until we have kids and we need a baby sitter.

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Again, one of those tradition things. I thought no one can wear red other than the bride, similar to white. There's actually precise rules on what color and designs are allowed on the qipao depending on your rank. I think my mom is suppose to wear gold and FMIL should wear black with dragons or phoenix embroidered on it.

Oh on the living arrangements. It already been settled. Boyfriend at the time/FH now, purchased a house 10 minutes away. He said if I managed to pay for the down payment all by myself on a new house, then we'll move wherever I want....not happening. FH already said she called dips on being the baby sitter. Not looking forward to that either. She smells and I don't want my children picking up for village dialect.

hahaha omg! this is toooo funny! i know exactly what you are talking about!

argh! we still havent figure out the living arrangements yet -- but we are looking far away, at least an hour away from my FMIL!!

OY, do move far away to avoid any surprised visits. When we first moved here and my FH worked on weekends, I was always on alert and made sure the house was in tip-top shape. But somehow, FMIL always found something wrong.