Choosing Your Bridesmaids......

If you're no longer close, forget about asking her. If you want, ask her to do a reading or take part some other way. Never feel obligated! One of my BM is getting married a few months after me and I'm not a BM in her wedding. She's got a big family. I was thrilled to know I didn't have to buy another dress I'll never wear. SHe asked me to do a reading. So happy!

DO NOT ask her if you are no longer close. Scary story here...My sister did that and our cousin wound up putting makeup deliberately on her dress the day of the wedding (thankfully in an inconspicuous place) and ruining every single wedding picture while faking an allergy to her flowers. Disaster. Only ask who you really really want standing up for you. Sorry for the scary story

---

Posted by patticakes

DO NOT ask her if you are no longer close. Scary story here...My sister did that and our cousin wound up putting makeup deliberately on her dress the day of the wedding (thankfully in an inconspicuous place) and ruining every single wedding picture while faking an allergy to her flowers. Disaster. Only ask who you really really want standing up for you. Sorry for the scary story

---

omg that is nuts!!!!

---

Posted by lcherian

---

Posted by patticakes

DO NOT ask her if you are no longer close. Scary story here...My sister did that and our cousin wound up putting makeup deliberately on her dress the day of the wedding (thankfully in an inconspicuous place) and ruining every single wedding picture while faking an allergy to her flowers. Disaster. Only ask who you really really want standing up for you. Sorry for the scary story

---

omg that is nuts!!!!

---

Yes, she is and it was!!!! LOL

I have 2 female cousins (around my age), both sisters. One of them I haven't spoken to since 1999 when our great-grandfather died......because about 6 months later she did something truly awful that I have never forgiven. I've been in her home, spoken to her husband (whom I met in her home) and still not spoken to her! She isn't even invited to my wedding (I wasn't invited to hers either). I didn't bat an eye about not inviting her or not asking her to be a BM even though she and I were once quite close.

Do not feel obligated...you should have people you want up there.

I was in the same boat .....

My fh asked , my brother , my uncle, my cousin & my nephew,, bascially everyone im close to ....

now i only have 1 bro & his kid is my ring boy,,
my aunt is my moh (my uncles wife ) & the cousin he asked is their kid..

hence , my sis in law was left in the dark, i dont really diss like her , just not close.

i didnt want her feelings hurt , so i did ask her . as i felt, ok, everyone is part of the wd , including her kids, but me.. I felt when they announced everyone she'd be on the sideline ya know,,,

so another family member in th wp,,

& orgionally i wanted a kings wedding , so much for that idea huh..

i wouldnt say it was outta obligation though , just didnt want to hurt her feelings..

---

Posted by tonimike

I was in the same boat .....

My fh asked , my brother , my uncle, my cousin & my nephew,, bascially everyone im close to ....

now i only have 1 bro & his kid is my ring boy,,
my aunt is my moh (my uncles wife ) & the cousin he asked is their kid..

hence , my sis in law was left in the dark, i dont really diss like her , just not close.

i didnt want her feelings hurt , so i did ask her . as i felt, ok, everyone is part of the wd , including her kids, but me.. I felt when they announced everyone she'd be on the sideline ya know,,,

so another family member in th wp,,

& orgionally i wanted a kings wedding , so much for that idea huh..

i wouldnt say it was outta obligation though , just didnt want to hurt her feelings..

---

I think that is really what it is. I do not want to hurt her feelings. I would be hurt if the shoe was on the other foot. I am so confused!