chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

Im a Pepper Posted: Jan 16, 2008 10:52 AM

chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

Hey girls,
My mother was dead set on throwing an engagement party for FH and I, but she's too controlling and she stresses too much so we decided to decline the party. She was pretty disappointed, but we KNEW that if we let her throw it, it'd be more stress than it was worth and she'd involve us much more than necessary. She means well and she's a great mom but she is the cause of a lot of stress in my family. Was it wrong to tell her we don't want the party? What do you think?
TIA for your comments and thoughts!
Bonnie

Jflod710 Posted: Jan 16, 2008 10:55 AM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

I dont think you were wrong to tell her that. its great that she wanted to but if it was too much it was too much!

KristiAnn923 Posted: Jan 16, 2008 10:57 AM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

That's your choice not to have one and as long as the offer was declined nicely this should not worry you one bit.

The last thing you need during this planning process is added stress. Good luck!

Im a Pepper Posted: Jan 16, 2008 11:00 AM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

Posted by KristiAnn923

That's your choice not to have one and as long as the offer was declined nicely this should not worry you one bit.

The last thing you need during this planning process is added stress. Good luck!

We told her to save her money and that an engagement party wasn't necessary. She said, 'awww, that's too bad, I was really looking forward to it.' In the end, it would have been more stressful than fun with her involved. I'm feeling good about our decision but I could tell she really wanted to do it! I feel like a bad daughter!! LOL

nicopico13 Posted: Jan 16, 2008 11:18 AM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

I think its fine and it sounds like you did let her down nicely.

PoppedInASnap Posted: Jan 16, 2008 12:43 PM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

no it wasnt wrong....i kind of dont want one as well...

Im a Pepper Posted: Jan 16, 2008 12:54 PM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

Posted by MrsFazz2B

no it wasnt wrong....i kind of dont want one as well...

is yours planned already or are you guys holding off?

ddnsp618 Posted: Jan 16, 2008 01:32 PM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

i think that it was nice of you to be honest and tell her...in the end it will save a lot of frustration!

GT143EA Posted: Jan 16, 2008 03:06 PM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

I don't think it was wrong. Its not required to have an eparty and if you think its just going to cause more stress you're better off not having one. I'm not having one either.

little34 Posted: Jan 16, 2008 05:02 PM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

I think that was fine...if it would have been too much stress than you did the right thing.

CMS Posted: Jan 16, 2008 05:11 PM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

Don't stress it! The only reason we're having an e-party (and it's really not going to be an e-party but a BBQ/pool party at my sister's house in July) is so the families can meet in an informal setting.

But the reasons you list is the EXACT reason why I won't let my mother have anything to do with my wedding. She makes everything too big and wants everything perfect, but I'm casual and just let things flow.

beram63 Posted: Jan 16, 2008 05:13 PM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

lots of people skip the e-party. better to do it this way than stir up trouble w/ family while you're trying to plan the wedding.

Summertimegal424 Posted: Jan 16, 2008 07:18 PM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

we didn't have one...its not necessary!! how many freakin parties are ya gonna have serioulsy! lol

we still got gifts tho whichw as unexpected and VERY generous

MrsDtoBe09 Posted: Jan 16, 2008 07:45 PM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

I dont think its necessary, it's a choice.

fallbride09 Posted: Jan 16, 2008 07:51 PM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

I don't think you were wrong at all. I'm not having one either, in fact a lot of ppl i know didn't have one.

Im a Pepper Posted: Jan 16, 2008 09:08 PM

Re: chose not to have an engagement party - thoughts??

thanks for all the comments girls!!! i feel better. i know she meant well and i'm glad she wanted to do something so nice for us but we're better off leaving out the stress. and besides, i don't want the families to have to travel for a million wedding-related events lol thanks again everyone!!!!!