Church and Donations

I was on the 06 Board and replied to a post about why the church didnt allow Unity candles and etc. I wondered if anyone can tell me. For those getting married at a church why is it that you have to pay a donation if you/your family/FH&FIL's have to pay a donation to have your wedding at the ceremony?

Isn't being a memeber and giving tides enough? Im not being critical I just wanted to understand why this was done.

My 'donation' is $750

I guess it goes to the organ player, singer, the cost of maybe having the church open like the overhead and electricity. Maybe the priest/rev salary... Do they get salary??

I really didn't think much of it. I really don't see the difference though, getting married at the halls usually cost the same if not more.

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Posted by prettyprincess07

I was on the 06 Board and replied to a post about why the church didnt allow Unity candles and etc. I wondered if anyone can tell me. For those getting married at a church why is it that you have to pay a donation if you/your family/FH&FIL's have to pay a donation to have your wedding at the ceremony?

Isn't being a memeber and giving tides enough? Im not being critical I just wanted to understand why this was done.

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I am answering your questions from a Catholic perspective... I don't know how donations and unity candles are handled in other Christian traidtions....

To answer your first question re: the Unity candle. The Unity candle is NOT a part of a Catholic Nuptial Mass or ceremony. It is a SECULAR tradition that has been adopted by many Catholic brides. Many churches have no problem with it and allow you to do it. Some churches have the view of it's not part of the Mass or ceremony so it cannot be done. Whether or not you can do a Unity Candle will depend on your parish and/or priest/deacon.

Re: your question about a donation. There is only ONE wedding donation. Typically, it is the couple that pays the donation, as most of the time, at least one partner is a member of the parish where they are getting married. If not, the parents or in-laws or whoever is the member of the parish will pay the donation. It is not two donations.

Donations are given for several reasons. One of the main ones being to pay for the time and professionalism of the church musicians, custodians that may have to help set up/clean up the church before/after your wedding, etc. etc.

In addition, you are receiving the Sacrament of Marriage. In the eyes of the Church it is so much more than a civil union. The Church views it as a true Sacrament and that you should leave a donation in gratitude for the receipt of the sacrament.

Also, this is just my opinion, but I grew up in the Church. The Church has been the focus of so many joys and sorrows in my family and many people within and affiliated with the Church have helped my family. It would be a sad day if on my wedding, I could not tithe a nice donation in thanks to not only the Church, but to God for the blessings I've received through my fiance and to our future family as well as in celebration of my wedding. Also, I feel if people can't leave a donation to the church without complaining, they should get married somewhere else.