I am a little upset about what our church expects as far as a 'donation' for our wedding ceremony. I never knew that some churches had a set donation amount. When we met with our priest he told us that the church charges a $600 'Donation' to be married there and ever since I have been thinking about it and I feel like we should make our own donation and shouldn't be told how much! I understand that you should pay a couple hundred as a donation but I am pissed that they are requiring such a ridiculous amount!! Am I freaking out or am I right?
NYCHICK
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
Of course you are right they are ridiculous witht their 'donation' nonsense. No donation is mandatory. The church is just like any other vendor to me. They have a FEE!!!!!!!
Charly
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
My church also requires a $600 donation. I don't really understand why they set a required amount. I can only imagine people never know what give, and maybe they don't cover the overhead costs?
Just a thought....
AJsMommy122
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
wow that is alot!! I understand they need the donations but $600 When we baptised my son at Holy Trinity they told us to give whatever we wanted.... The church we are getting married is 'charging' us $350 and that includes a singer and an organ player
jpdagame
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
Would I be able to change my church or would it make me look like an idiot??? How would I go about it? This is FH church and I knew I should have gone to my church in the first place... Its nicer and he doesn't even go to church!!! I just wanted to let him give his input.
reed2be
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
We are paying an 'offering' of $200, an additional $200 for the organist and singer and they gave us an envelope to 'remember' the clean-up staff.
BellaBella
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
My church has also the 600$ donation. If it is too much for you, you might want to check with them because as they told me, if you can't afford to pay it, they will still marry you. IMO, I don't want to come across as just 'renting' the church..I feel comfortable giving it to them.
CherylBooch
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
I outright spoke to my priest about this. This is what he told us, and it makes sense.
Unfortunately not enough people go to mass each week to cover the extensive costs of running a church. Most people that go are old ladies and honestly.... how much can they really contribute? By putting the envelopes in the basket, that money goes to paying the electricty, heat, AC, the wine, hosts etc. There are alot of expenses- that you don't realize. So therefore, they have to try and make it up somewhere, and obviously there is a small fraction of younger couples/people going to mass and contributing- so they hit up the people getting married and having funerals.
It's unfortunate, and believe me I'm UPSET b.c I'm paying $1,000... but it's the hard truth.
butterfly20
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
my church with singer, and organist is 525.. they say its a 'fee to cover operating expenses, that electricity, heat, a/c arent free'
nylisa
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
I totally agree with you. When we booked the church we never got in writing how much the 'donation' was. So a year after we get engaged my pastor leaves and now my new pastor wants to charge me $500 'donation' when my old pastor wanted to charge $200 'donation' since I am a very active parishioner. The 'donation' is for the use of the church, a organist and a soloist.
SomedayBride
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
Posted by CherylBooch
Unfortunately not enough people go to mass each week to cover the extensive costs of running a church. Most people that go are old ladies and honestly.... how much can they really contribute? By putting the envelopes in the basket, that money goes to paying the electricty, heat, AC, the wine, hosts etc. There are alot of expenses- that you don't realize. So therefore, they have to try and make it up somewhere, and obviously there is a small fraction of younger couples/people going to mass and contributing- so they hit up the people getting married and having funerals.
This is EXACTLY why it costs so much to get married in a church. Figure it this way, if you went to church every Sunday and holy day for two years, and only put $5 in the basket, there's the cost of your mass right there. If he doesn't go to church, why get married in his church or in a church at all? (I'm not asking this to be snotty, I'm really wondering)
Also, think of it this way, how much would your hall want for you to use their facility for a ceremony? I'm pretty sure my hall charges around $500. I would rather see the church get my money than my hall. Everything in the wedding industry is overpriced. Is anyone really complaining about paying upwards of $100 pp for a meal that MIGHT actually cost about $20? Our church is about $500. Do I want to pay it? No. But am I paying through the nose for everyting else? Yes.
If you truly can't afford it, the church will still marry you, but how can you really tell the church that you can't afford the mass while you're having a reception and photos and everything else that goes into a wedding. I guess my point is, grin and bear it, or don't get married in a church.
P.S. The 'you' that I'm addressing is not a single person, rather everyone, myself included.
Lorena
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
The pastor at the church we are marrying in is great because he agrees that the donations are rediculous! I love that. He said that they are asking us to at least cover their expenses for the ceremony. So he basically told us what the organist and cantor charge. He also said to keep in mind that they will have to pay the custodian for that time. He then told us that other churches in the area request a donation of $500. He said he feels that is high but just wanted to give us an idea. We thought that was fair. So I agree that a mandated $600 sucks but it isn't uncommon or without reason. My church doesn't happen to do it but many churches really do need to make money for expenses somewhere.
nferrandi
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
I know what you're saying about the 'donation' but $600 isn't that bad. FH and I are getting married at the reception site and we're paying the hall a $1000 ceremony fee and we're paying the priest and rabii $375 each. That's $1750 for a 20 minute ceremony! You're getting off easy compared to me. lol!
steph4777
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
I can top all of you...The church I orginally wanted to use was $2000 just for the church and the priest. Organist and flowers (which you had to purchase through their altar guild) were an additional cost. Although I loved the church, I couln't justify paying that much for it.
FH was livid that the church asked for that much money. He was like '$2000 for the house of God?'
Rest assured we found another church.
BTW...the church was The Cathedral of the Incarnation in Garden City (near GC hotel)
NYCHICK
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
2 grand? WTF!!!! Are they for real That is insane, they need to put a capped fee with all this nonsense. That is ALOT of money. That is damn near extortion
Xelindrya
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
I think they use the word 'Donation' to take the edge off the fact that the church is like a business and they want to CHARGE you to get married.
I point blanked asked our guy how much will it costs us for you to come marry us.
'We call that a donation'
Look if you're going to marry us and be honest and truthful in God's name why not call it as it really is, it's how much money we have to give you to do these services, duly earned.
It's all BS to me. But I can't complain too loudly Im only paying $200 for services at the hall. I choose his robe and altered his gig to take the words 'God' or 'Christ' out of any reference to a request of the audiance. He's been GREAT and patient. Worth the money Im paying for his services.
Although I did crack a joke to Jim later after we left. For the same words and just a little less effort we paid $40 to City Hall. She had a robe and would have done the ring exchange for a hell of a lot less. heh
ETA: we are paying the hall an extra $300 for the ceremony. So all together $500 for the ceremony between the two.
$600 isn't that bad.
butterfly20
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
hmmm.. the cathedral... i think they used that building for a credit card commerical in the past...
our church is now 525.. last year it was less, and when they were raising it, they sent us a letter saying its being raised, and if you want to send your check in by Xdate then you could pay the lower fee...
if its a donation then doesnt that mean its tax deductable??
Jo Ann
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
Yes it is Tax Deductable
violet
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
I think it's $300-$400 at mine. Then there's the organist fee which is around $150. Then you have to pay for Pre-Cana too. It's ridiculous.
But yes, when you get your taxes done, tell them you donated that, or get a receipt.
violet
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Re: Church fees-Please Help!!!
Now that I think about it, these churches must be making a lot of money off weddings. And it's probably the same with baptisms also. $600 for every wedding, yikes.
