Church problems

Has anyone run into church problems. My FH is not confirmed and they are making him get confirmed and I know that he isn't thrilled. just wanted to know how to go about it because I wanted to get married in a church and my parents really do also but I know that he isn't thrilled and I don't want to ruin his day either.

i see the church through a different light because there are so many rules to go through and its all about the $.

Any input or ideas would help thanks

certain catholic churches only require 1 person to be catholic, maybe look around for that so he doesn't have to do anything he is not comfortable with.

I know my church doesn't care even though I received all my sacraments last month to be catholic, I didn't have to but I always wanted to

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Posted by missK

i did have to make my confirmation to be a godmother so I am guessing that if you want to get married in the church it is the same. I had to go to adult religion starting in Oct or Nov , one day a week for a couple of hours for 6 mos. I made confirmation just before all the communions May. Hes got time if you are getting married in 11/08 Just have him go to his church or the one you are getting married in. Good luck

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The purpose of a godparent, within the Church, is to help to raise the child in accordance with Catholic teachings - which is why you need to be confirmed. As long as either the bride or groom is confirmed, you should be allowed to marry in the Church, although you will need to fill out a brief form requesting permission to do so.

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Posted by Mike and Doreen

Has anyone run into church problems. My FH is not confirmed and they are making him get confirmed and I know that he isn't thrilled. just wanted to know how to go about it because I wanted to get married in a church and my parents really do also but I know that he isn't thrilled and I don't want to ruin his day either.

i see the church through a different light because there are so many rules to go through and its all about the $.

Any input or ideas would help thanks

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Fh and I had the same situation, he is not confirmed. He has to start confirmation classes in Sept. We just contacted his church and they contacted him after about 3 weeks.

IT WAS SUCH A PAIN to get in touch with a priest to make a meeting. They would even give us the date until the father 'decided we were ready to get married'.

this is the best part....we have to write a 1 page report on the homily every sunday mass until our wedding....

In the end, I think it will be worth it...I have heard stories of people who werent married in the church and having problems, ie, they couldnt baptize their children...but then I have heard of people who have had no problems as well!

I really think it depends on the church....I would do what you guys think is right for you as a couple...

good luck!

wow, mine was nothing like that

I just had to go to an hour class once a week for 4 months and that was it, Oh and try to go to mass on sunday.

Every church is different

My FH just made his confirmation last weekend and he wasnt thrilled either...it felt like pulling teeth, but he did it. I told him he got off easy. I had to go to 8 years of religious ed every week to make my confirmation. He had to go 1 hour/week for 5 weeks and then to church to get confirmed. It wasnt so bad, everyone in the class was there because their future wives made them go!

we had A LOT of problems with the church. and we're both confirmed catholics.
I know for a fact that you do NOT both need to be confirmed. Heck, you don't even have to be the same religion!
I would suggest either talking to another parish OR if you are catholic, call the diocese. they are great and very helpful with this stuff.

if you want to talk about this stuff feel free to FM me.

Wow, I am surprised to hear of so many problems some of you have incurred. I guess I am lucky to belong to a fairly lenient parish!

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Posted by JACK808

Wow, I am surprised to hear of so many problems some of you have incurred. I guess I am lucky to belong to a fairly lenient parish!

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OMG yeah i'm pretty lucky too... my parish is being so good about everything, they're even letting us do our pre-cana in Pittsburgh since that's easier for the both of us! We have to do this weekend retreat thing in November... should be interesting!

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Posted by ItalianBride428


this is the best part....we have to write a 1 page report on the homily every sunday mass until our wedding....

In the end, I think it will be worth it...I have heard stories of people who werent married in the church and having problems, ie, they couldnt baptize their children...but then I have heard of people who have had no problems as well!

I really think it depends on the church....I would do what you guys think is right for you as a couple...

good luck!

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UGH. at the church i was originally planning on marrying in, the one that i taught religious ed in for years, the one i brought female alter servers into... *end vent sorry*
the priest told us we'd have to attend mass there every sunday, sit in the front row, and write a one page report each and put it in the next week's collection basket with our weekly tithing. and since we shouldnt technically be living together, it had to be two seperate envelopes with two seperate monatary offerings.

needless to say, between that and all the other issues with them, we went elsewhere.

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Posted by SugaBeans

thats weird. FH only is baptized, no communion and not confirmed and we can have it at the church and he doesnt have to take any classes. the only thing, which is fine with us, is that we cant have a mass we can only have a ceremony ...that just means no communion and more time for receiving line and pics.

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That is exactly what I was going to say. It was funny, FH is non-dinominational (spelling?) catholic and was baptized but doesn't have any records of it. He did not have communion or confirmation. He thought he didn't have any records of being baptized. the wacko priest said we needed proof and asked if we could 'just put him down as Jewish.' Pretty funny
But then, FH found some proof of baptism and we are able to have a ceremony in the catholic church.

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Posted by Mike and Doreen

Has anyone run into church problems. My FH is not confirmed and they are making him get confirmed and I know that he isn't thrilled. just wanted to know how to go about it because I wanted to get married in a church and my parents really do also but I know that he isn't thrilled and I don't want to ruin his day either.

i see the church through a different light because there are so many rules to go through and its all about the $.

Any input or ideas would help thanks

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If getting married in a church is important to you, then you have to go by the rules that the church sets forth - even if you don't like them. With faith comes sacrifice and compromise. The priest is requiring your FI to complete his sacraments, perfectly normal request.

If you think it is all about the money, then why are you doing this? It doesn't sound like you or your FI are to keen on the whole church thing. Why not give your money to a Justice of the Peace and the reception hall? Problem solved.

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Posted by bemyyoko

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Posted by ItalianBride428


this is the best part....we have to write a 1 page report on the homily every sunday mass until our wedding....

In the end, I think it will be worth it...I have heard stories of people who werent married in the church and having problems, ie, they couldnt baptize their children...but then I have heard of people who have had no problems as well!

I really think it depends on the church....I would do what you guys think is right for you as a couple...

good luck!

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UGH. at the church i was originally planning on marrying in, the one that i taught religious ed in for years, the one i brought female alter servers into... *end vent sorry*
the priest told us we'd have to attend mass there every sunday, sit in the front row, and write a one page report each and put it in the next week's collection basket with our weekly tithing. and since we shouldnt technically be living together, it had to be two seperate envelopes with two seperate monatary offerings.

needless to say, between that and all the other issues with them, we went elsewhere.

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lol, thats exactly what we are doing...ugh.