CIVIL CEREMONY BEFORE WEDDING???

Hi I am a regular poster - but under a different name because of lurkers

FH and I were thinking of getting married by a justice of the peace, before our church wedding, but I'm curious to see if you think our reasons make sense

Fh and I are in the process of purchasing a house. our closing date will be just before our wedding. We think that if we get married before hand then all the paperwork on the house will be in my married name and I wont have to worry about changing it later (but im really not sure what is involved in changing it on the mortgage after the fact). Also my renewel on my license is due just before our wedding as well so I can have that all changed before I renew and not have to do it after. we also plan on joining our bank accounts soon and ordering checks - I will be able to have my married name on there as well and not have to order new checks. Does this seem logical? or should we just wait. Health Insurance is not an issue right now

I know that our wedding date OFFICIALLY will be that of the civil ceremony but how does it work when you get married later in the church? do we just give the same license and sign it ?

Anyone who has done this before getting married in church, I would appreciate your input and knowledge on this topic

thanks

personally i wouldn't do it for convenience sake... only if something like insurance was an issue, and needed to be done NOW (a surgery, for example, not just a routine dr. visit).

you still have a few months left until the wedding to enjoy being engaged. you have the rest of your lives to be married

I am the queen of this...I got married in April, my reception is 7/26.
The pro...there is something amazing about getting married in a private ceremony.
There are more con's though...it takes something away from the wedding. I actually had a clergy member say it was a charade, something I disagree with.
Wedding planning is not very exciting when you are married, it all feels kinda anti climactic and I suspect it is part of my low RSVP rate, though no one has said it.
I would say don't do it, but if you do, it will be ok too.

honestly--for the reasons you explaiend...just so it won't be a hassle to change from maiden to married name on your mortgage and license....i don't think i would do it. i say just wait for your big day....just doesn't seem like a good enough reason to me to get married sooner.

but thats JMHO

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Posted by funtimes

thank you for your response. My wedding date is not the date I have posted its much much sooner than that.

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i stand by my opinion -- you have the rest of your lives to be married!!

and honestly, changing your name ISN'T a significant or substantial reason to have a civil ceremony. changing your name isn't as big a deal or as much of a pain as people make it out to be.

also, since your wedding is *much* sooner ... you may not even get your marriage certificate back before your reception anyway. you can't change your name on any official documents (like ss #, drivers license, bank accounts, mortgage / deed, etc.) until you have the MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE.

In Argentina it is customary to have a civil ceremony before the 'official' wedding and reception. The first one is private; the second one is witnessed by your family and friends.
I don't think the civil ceremony takes away from the church ceremony -- it is still a pubilc declaration/celebration of your love

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

In Argentina it is customary to have a civil ceremony before the 'official' wedding and reception. The first one is private; the second one is witnessed by your family and friends.
I don't think the civil ceremony takes away from the church ceremony -- it is still a pubilc declaration/celebration of your love

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And in Jewish tradition, the couple signs the marriage contract (Ketubah) in a private room with 2 witnesses, and the immediate family. We had our BP there with us also. Once it is signed, you are married according to Jewish Law (but not US Laws), hence the public ceremony & reception. This happens about 15 minutes before the ceremony, though.

But the OP isn't looking to do this for tradition sake, she's looking to do this to save the effort of changing her name on some documents and accounts.

I got married legally in May '07 and had my church wedding in Sept. '07

we got legally married bc DH was changing jobs and wasn't going to have insurance..

our priest had us obtain a second ceremony license through the same court we got married in. We were still able to have a Catholic Ceremony etc etc...

Unfortunately you have to pay the fee again... we got a SECOND marriage license in the mail with our church date on it.

it's not a second marriage... just a 2nd ceremony.

hope that helps

Do it for whatever reasons you think are right. How much time will pass between the civil and wedding? If it's that close, nobody even needs to know.

Our civil ceremony was in april and the wedding will be in Oct. We were LDR and I wanted to live closer but couldn't afford to live on my own, and wasn't comfortable w/living w/dh unless we were married.

At first, I didn't even want the big wedding anymore - we are married already, our close family witnessed it, our friends celebrated with us.... but I'm getting back into it again. Everyone knows we're married and knows why and they all understand. Oh and i haven't changed my name yet either.

I wasn't planning on getting another lisence or anything. it's basically just going through the motions - it's more emotionally and *feeling* married then legally doing it. I guess if we have to the minister will let us know.

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Posted by What

I got married legally in May '07 and had my church wedding in Sept. '07

we got legally married bc DH was changing jobs and wasn't going to have insurance..

our priest had us obtain a second ceremony license through the same court we got married in. We were still able to have a Catholic Ceremony etc etc...

Unfortunately you have to pay the fee again... we got a SECOND marriage license in the mail with our church date on it.

it's not a second marriage... just a 2nd ceremony.

hope that helps

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i was going to say the same thing but you bet me to it haha

I am not giving any information on here because of lurkers. but all i can say is do it if you feel it is right. don't listen to people telling you not to or to do it. If you honestly feel it is the right thing to do in your ife as of now- then you make the decision.

i will actually FM you with my story!

tons of people close on houses before they are married - my FH and I may close on a house before our wedding as well

since i will still have to change my name on everything else after the wedding anyway i never even considered getting legally married just because we are buying a home....i dont really see the point but you have to do what makes you happy....

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Posted by Newsysuzy12

I am the queen of this...I got married in April, my reception is 7/26.
The pro...there is something amazing about getting married in a private ceremony.
There are more con's though...it takes something away from the wedding. I actually had a clergy member say it was a charade, something I disagree with.
Wedding planning is not very exciting when you are married, it all feels kinda anti climactic and I suspect it is part of my low RSVP rate, though no one has said it.
I would say don't do it, but if you do, it will be ok too.

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I agree!!! We had civil ceremony in April and now after 6 months of planning the 2009 wedding we are thinking about canceling everything, because WE ARE MARRIED ALREADY!!! We were excited at first, but now with all the money problems and people making stupid comments we don't want to bother anymore.
SO I would say don't do it either unless you don't have any other choice.

Or maybe it will work out for you better than for us!!!