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Competition between friends? - LONG

PerfectPair05 Posted:

Competition between friends? - LONG

Does anyone have a friend (or multiple friends) who for whatever reason feel the need to be in competition to be the first to do everything... first to get married, first to buy a house, first to get pregnant, etc???

UGH!!! One of my closest friends (and one of my BM) has become like this. She was not the first to get married and was furious about that. She pressured her boyfriend to get engaged and then married and now to buy a house... and all she can talk about now is how she is the first to have a house and will be the first to be pregnant. She has started embelishing - their salaries, cost of house, amount of the downpayment and where they got the $ (they put down a HUDE chunk of change). The thing is that she tells us all these false stories but her husband has a big mouth and before she is able to tell her 'fib' he has already told one of our husbands or FHs the truth. And she looks really stupid and none of us wants to talk to her anymore because every other word out of her mouth has become a 'race' to be first at something. Anything you tell her - she already did it or has it.

AHHHHH!!!
Marisa M Posted:

Re: Competition between friends? - LONG

you're not alone. - There's one in every group ! Unfortunately for her, she will just never ever be happy b/c she's going to sepnd her entire life comparing it to someone else. -
Just begin slowly distancing yourself and little by little you'll just grow apart until you'll only be seeing her @ weddings & funerals.
slwh2005 Posted:

Re: Competition between friends? - LONG

Yes, I have known people like this. I've always felt sorry for them because it's obvious they are extremely insecure and that's why they are constantly trying to 'out-do' everyone else. Ugh!!

randella Posted:

Re: Competition between friends? - LONG

she sounds like a pain in the arse... I have learned that as we get older, we just have to accept our friends as they are-- take them with a grain of salt. There is a reason why you love them-- just got to remember that.. at least, if you still love your friend.
myasmom Posted:

Re: Competition between friends? - LONG

Been there done that. And it ended badly.
We dont have alot of $$ with a child but she is single(was) and no kids. When she got engaged it became a huge competition. She had a beautiful wedding IMO and when she came to mine she couldnt find fault of anything so she honed in on my DJ being late and said I was proably embarrassed and how my dress looked better in the pictures etc. Thats when I realized she wasnt a friend. She was one of two out of 130+ people who said anything negative. Then when we announced plans to buying property..of course she was going to do the same. I dont call her a friend anymore..she is just an associate.
PerfectPair05 Posted:

Re: Competition between friends? - LONG

I (as well as the rest of the girls in our group) do try to take her with a grain of salt. I do love her... we've been friends since we were 11 - we've been through a million things together... both happy and unhappy and we've helped one another get passed it.

I worry about her because in her desire to one-up everyone, she is putting herself in a terrible situation and simultaneously making the people who love her grow to hate her

She keeps seeking something to make/keep her happy... but in the end she will realize that she's not happy and then she'll turn to us - the very people she has driven crazy with this silliness

leighdvm Posted:

Re: Competition between friends? - LONG

Let me tell you, I had a similar problem. I was very close to a girl I've known since the 8th grade. She was always the jealous type -- flirting with the guys I liked at clubs, etc. Whenever something good happened in my life, she was never happy for me. And when I was going through tough times, she would rub it in my face how well she was doing.

Needless to say, I cut her out of my life a year ago. It took me a long time to realize that she was never a true friend to me (it took me 19 years), but I am better off without the negativity in my life.
Dom n Nic Posted:

Re: Competition between friends? - LONG

join the club -all my friends are like that and ever since i got engaged i have been labeled the 'OUTCAST' not said by them but thats how i feel . no more phone calls , they go out i dont get invited and if i say why didnt you guys call me they say ' well your engaged now' i have heard threw other friends that some of them have said i can't believe she got engaged before me

soon2bmrs2004 Posted:

Re: Competition between friends? - LONG


Posted by Marisa M

you're not alone. - There's one in every group ! Unfortunately for her, she will just never ever be happy b/c she's going to sepnd her entire life comparing it to someone else. -
Just begin slowly distancing yourself and little by little you'll just grow apart until you'll only be seeing her @ weddings & funerals.



This is so true. My circle has one and we did the above and some of us don't even invite her to weddings or funerals!
I would follow the advice above. Sometimes it is natural for friends ( even friends that you were really close with in the past) to just grow apart. Try not to stress about it too much.

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