conversation with Dad

I have basically kept my father out of planning the wedding or telling him much of what is going on because he really has no interest. However today I wanted to fill him in a little. Anyway along with complaining about wearing a Tux he now wants me to take my sister out of the wedding party! He told me it is just going to be too difficult for her and he doesn't think she really wants anything to do with it anyway. I am really hurt. Does my sister live out of state, yup -BUT SHE'S MY SISTER! He told me he thinks she is doing it because I pushed. I didn't push! This is how things go in my family, everyone is worried about my poor sister, who has a backbone like a bull! He didn't seem to care that he hurt my feelings, but oh no don't put too much pressure on your sister.
Very upset -

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Maybe you should speak with your sister directly to find out how she is feeling about being in the BP? SEnding you lots of

That really stinks that your dad upset you - I swear that parents just don't think sometimes! I think it may be best to go back to your original plan of not telling him too much. And if you know your sister is happy being in your wedding, then don't worry about her. Sorry hon

I don't get it. Why did your dad say something like that - did your sister say something to him. Even if she did he should just stay out of it. I don't know why parents insist on adding more pressure and bullsh*t on us. I'm sorry your going through this.

I'm so sorry! From personal experience, I can tell you families go CRAZY about wedding stuff, especially when you least expect them to. If I were you, I'd just talk to your sister and get the story from her.

Thanks so much guys
Well after a very long cry I am here to say that I spoke to my sister and no she won't be my MOH or even in the bridal party at all. When I asked her why her response was

'we can either get into it, or you can let it go'
I told her that if she felt that strongly about it...
but wasn't able to finish my sentence she told me she would be there but not a part of the wedding itself.

***? thankfully after speaking with my closest friend she jumped at the opportunity to take it over...which she will be great at.

So yup that's the story. Man I got puffy eyes now! FH is being a doll and so sweet right now, he knows how much it ment to me to have her there.

---

Posted by transamgirlie

Thanks so much guys
Well after a very long cry I am here to say that I spoke to my sister and no she won't be my MOH or even in the bridal party at all. When I asked her why her response was

'we can either get into it, or you can let it go'
I told her that if she felt that strongly about it...
but wasn't able to finish my sentence she told me she would be there but not a part of the wedding itself.

***? thankfully after speaking with my closest friend she jumped at the opportunity to take it over...which she will be great at.

So yup that's the story. Man I got puffy eyes now! FH is being a doll and so sweet right now, he knows how much it ment to me to have her there.

---

Gosh I am so sorry this is happening. Did something happen between you and your sister to make her not want to be involved? She didn't give you any explanation at all? I'm sorry!

I am so sorry that you are going through this

What the heck happened w/ your sister? What's her issue? She is being totally unfair - I don't know her, but it sounds strange.

No nothing happened between us...she was on the island last week and we were fine.
She has always been difficult though - just can't get over the fact that she is doing this.

It just hurts that she is my only sibling and she won't be an active part of my day, standing at my side.

Thanks so much for letting me vent.

Oh, the big excuse according to my father is that she lives in Delaware and it 's too far for her to plan anything. That's crap just because she can't get here all the time shouldn't stop her from being a part of things.

I'm so sorry to hear this! I have heard of MOH not being active planners- a local BM takes over with an understanding that the MOH was family or somehting....she could have just been a BM too....weird but her choice in the end. I had a close friend decline to be my BM but she is happier for it so I didn't get hurt (I actually would have been shocked if she said yes!) Don't worry, it'll all work out in the end. Wedding don't always bring out the best in people... Good luck!!

honey i have a lot of problems with my father. if you need anyone to talk to please let me know. I am here for you

_______________________________________

See this is the hard thing, I normally get along great with my father - but me getting married has him all bent up. This is my 2cnd marriage my FH's first (and only ) and even though I really didn't have a wedding the first time around they are really giving me a hard time about this. So here I am trying to plan this and give my FH (yes HE wants the big shabang) the wedding he has dreamt of and here is what I deal with. Plus as an added bonus one of my BM's has been a bit flaky lately, so I don't know where she stands with it all. Her I understand she is busy busy busy but I need to know. Dresses need to be ordered
this really makes me think we should have just gone and done it on our own.
Well there is a lighter side to it, I just booked my photographer for 400 thanks to Moms great connections. At least she's with me even if she won't be comeing that day.

That stinks. I am so sorry your sister is not going to be a part of your big day It stinks that she seems to have gotten your father in the middle of things - if she was having issues/problems she should have gone straight to you.