Counseling

I have been with my bf for 8 years and just recently got engaged. A associate of my fh suggested that we go to a marriage counseler before getting married what are you ladies doing and what do you suggest? I thought a marriage counseler are for people who are having trouble with their marriage? We are not having any problems. Ladies I Need your help.

I just joined yesterday and I love this site

Welcome!
We did not have any counseling, but I am sure it wouldn't be a bad idea. A lot of couples do this, especially those getting married in the Catholic Church.
Do you already live together? I think counseling is really just to make sure you are compatable and have similar future goals: i.e. money, kids, etc.

Hiya, welcome to LIW!!

We didn't go to counseling, I don't think it's necessary. If you and your FH want to do it then that's great, you can work some issues out that you might not realize are there. But if you're just going by your FH's associate's suggestion and you 2 don't really want to bother, then it's a waste.

Like Lauren said, if you're going to be married in the Catholic church you'll be attending pre-cana which is kinda like pre-marital counseling anyway.

We are both moving out of our current location to live with each next month. This is a place we both found together. I think we both are compatable and he thinks so also but my fh associate keeps pushing for us to see a counseler. Maybe he just has issues with his current relationship

TK for your comment

Why is your FH's associate being so pushy about something that is very private and between you and your FH?

I agree with the others - If you two want to do it, then that's great... but if you're not really into it, then it would just be a waste.

I agree with the other ladies, i dont think counseling is necessary unless you're having problems. but since you guys are okay, i dont see the point. i got married in a Catholic Church so we had to do pre-cana which was very informative and pretty much pre-marital counseling.

welcome to the boards and happy planning!!!

If you've had problems in the past it may help. I have heard of peole doing it. Maybe fh's associate has had relationship problems and is just trying to look out for him. If you are doing Pre Cana, I think that is sort of like counseling, haven't done it yet though.

You've been together for 8 yrs....something must be going right!!!!! Its up to you if you feel you need, we're not going to.

Let me start off by saying congratulations and welcome. This site is amazing and it is very helpful and I am sure you will find that out.

If you are Catholic, before you get married in a catholic church, you are required to go through pre-cana which is sort of like counseling. During pre-cana you sit with a couple who is already married and they discuss stuff with you and your fh and some other engaged couples. It is very interesting.

Personally, if you feel you do not need counseling with your relationship, then I would not go. If there is a lot of fighting and arguing, then I would consider it. Otherwise, if you are Catholic, you will have to go through pre-cana to get married in a Catholic church. I am going through pre-cana at the current time and love it.

HTH..

Congrats and welcome! As the old saying goes, 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it!' Why work on something you aren't having a problem with? If you are getting married in a catholic church they will make you go to Focus group and Pre-Cana so I think you will be alright!

Hi welcome! I feel torn- I hear some of the ladies with if it's not broke don't fix it ........but Your don't have to HAVE a problem to seek therapy.....most People contact a therapist only after what they have tried is not working anymore.....i Personally think that being there is NO issue now that the sessions would be short term but at least you 2 could develop strategies with a non bias person......& yes if you are going the catholic church...precana Is like it but it's really not counseling for your individual situation....hope This helps and good luck.