Couples Counseling?

geegee827 Posted: Mar 25, 2009 07:03 PM

Couples Counseling?

I just found out that one of my good friends is getting a divorce. It's really throwing me for a loop because I (and everyone else) always thought they had such a great marriage. Apparently, she said she's been unhappy for years and now it's time for her to leave. There was never a clue.

She did say that the same issues they fought about while they were dating, engaged and newly married never got resolved and it contributed to a lot of resentment.

It got me and FH thinking.....

Like every couple, we have certain issues that we fight about over and over again. We don't think they're deal breakers now, but what if 10 years down the line, they turn out to be?

We are considering going for pre-marital counseling (not just pre-cana), but real counseling to make sure we can get past our 'issues' and deal with them BEFORE we get married or at least learn how to deal with them and not resent each other in the future. We love each other very much but we both realize that a relationship takes work and we want to give our marriage 110% effort.

Does anyone have any experience with this?
Thoughts?

AlisonMZ14 Posted: Mar 25, 2009 07:11 PM

Re: Couples Counseling?

FH and i went to couples therapy a couple months before we got engaged and it was the best thing we ever did. We were able to discuss things that we had run into a few times over the course of our relationship and bring up any fears or concerns we had about marriage and we also learned how to communicate better. We went for maybe 4 or 5 sessions then a couple weeks later we were engaged and it was such a good idea i know its going to make our marriage really strong.
Also around this time a friend of our was having a hard time in her marriage and was heading for divorce which added lots of stress in our lives bc we were so close to them so i completely understand where you are coming from but in the end everything worked out in the end she is still out really close friend and he is god knows where

MrsDrinkh20 Posted: Mar 25, 2009 07:15 PM

Re: Couples Counseling?

I think its a great idea hun. I might even mention it to FH as well

caligirl87 Posted: Mar 25, 2009 07:16 PM

Re: Couples Counseling?

I did premarital counseling with FH and we LOVED it!!! FH comes from a divorced family and there was a point in our engagment that he was scared to death our little issues would turn into big issues later and we would end up like his parents. It gave us so many tools to address any issues that arrise and to help us learn to communicate in meaningful ways so less issues arrise. It taught us things like how to fight fair, watching our body language when we talk to each other, and what are our financial boundaries. There was tons more but those are some that we are already using. I really recommend it! I definitely don't think it could hurt!

geegee827 Posted: Mar 25, 2009 07:17 PM

Re: Couples Counseling?

Thanks for the pep talk - that's what we're hoping to achieve.

Would you recommend the person you went to? If so, could you FM me? I called someone I used to go to individually a couple of years ago for a recommendation, but he is in FL for the next 2 weeks and I want to strike while the iron is hot!

Thanks.

MrsGarcia Posted: Mar 25, 2009 07:21 PM

Re: Couples Counseling?

I was thinking about doing this as well.. Fh is alittle reluctant to speak with someone about our issues.. but I tell him all the time if we don't solve them now, when will we solve them or come to an agreement on them.