Crashing - Pick your bridal party CAREFULLY!!!!
Hi girls! I'm sorry to crash but I'm hoping that I can maybe help out one of two girls with their bridal party dilemmas. I saw what V was upset about and it just made me think that MAYBE if I share what happened with me with the bridal party, it might help some of you out.
I had 7 bridal party members (not including the guys and flower girl). I choose my older sister as my maid of honor, DH's sister as my matron of honor (her and I are really close), my younger sister as a Bridesmaid (later labeled as Sister of Honor), 2 cousins bridesmaids and 2 friends.
My older sister is a resident at Jersey Shore Medical Center and is NEVER around. She has work ALL THE TIME but it's completely understandable and I was totally ok with it, especially since she would come home to help with me my wedding dress and picking out invites. PLUS, I figured I had a Matron of Honor. I got engaged January 2009 and planned to get married Sept 2010. I asked my FSIL to be my Matron of Honor pretty much right after we got engaged. She was 5 months shy of her wedding. She excepted but apparently thought I wasn't going to plan my wedding until after hers.
FSIL wanted me to wait until after her wedding to plan our wedding. The excitement of the planning quickly became non-exitent. I didn't really talk about getting married around DH's family and had to hid anything I actually did do with my family (since they were asking me when I was going to get things done...we all have some OCD in my family). In March my friend (a bridesmaid) got engaged. It was so nice to talk about weddings with her, except she didn't really share the whole wedding planning, it was more about hers but that's how it is SUPPOSED to be when you get engaged...I just wasn't allowed.
So FINALLY my FSIL gets married and I think I can finally start planning my wedding. Well 2 days after FSIL wedding, another one of my friends gets engaged. Our engagement is now old news and the excitement is completely gone. The friend who got engaged in March was getting married in June 2010 and the one who got married after FSIL's wedding was getting married April 2010. Since my wedding was Sept 2010, I was old news and so far away. Now another one of my friends gets engaged in August (the last one of my friends to get engaged) and plans for her wedding 2 weeks before mine. THEN, my cousin gets engaged in October 2009 and plans her wedding a month after mine. The first 2 friends and the 1 cousin are all bridesmaids.
Recap: FSIL wouldn't let me plan wedding until after hers and then told me everything was too far away to worry about it. 2 friends and cousin were really wrapped up in their weddings that NO ONE helped me.
The friend that got married in April made my life a living hell!!!! From the time she got engaged until, well she still does and I wish she wasn't a bridesmaid. She didn't help with ANYTHING, always made me and my other friend feel like our weddings didn't matter or where in a lesser class then her, BASHED FSIL the WHOLE time even after I kept asking her to stop. FSIL and I resolved the whole 'don't plan your wedding thing' and I look past it because eventually she got excited, it just happened to be like 3 months before the wedding. Anyway, my 'friend' was even giving my SIL dirty looks at my wedding.
My younger sister is in a program for audiology and didn't have time to help.
That leaves me with 1 bridesmaid. She was a HUGE help! Everyone else did not help me with ANYTHING!!! When I asked they always had an excuse, even after their weddings. If I could do it all over now I would have a completely different bridal party! The one bridesmaid who bashed SIL was a b*tch on 2 feet and still is! She didn't smile in ANY proof pictures and looks miserabe half the time. One of my friends kept telling me to kick her out but I felt bad, I wish I did!
So what I have to say to future brides is pick your bridal party VERY carefully. Also, I was scared I would come off as a Bridezilla so I didn't demand anything or speak up for myself with Bridesmaids or vendors...learn from my mistakes...DON'T DO THIS!!! Don't worry about being a Bridezilla! Even the most laid back bride someone will call Bridezilla, just don't take it to an extremem.
I hated my wedding planning and I hated my wedding (not because anything went wrong - because it didn't - except my dress bustle kept falling and I couldn't breathe because my seamstress s*cked)! I planned it perfectly, but a person standing up next to me made me so mad the whole day. She was completely useless the day of the wedding and I NEVER saw her once we got to the hall! She even invited her husband into my bridal suite while we were waiting for the guests to go into the ceremony room (she's one of those people who thinks her relationship is perfect and she lets everyone know that).
ANYWAY, this post is long enough and I would be happy to explain more and answer any questions, I just hope no bride has to go through what I went through. If you want to kick out a BMs, DO IT! If you want to scream at someone, DO IT (but not to an extreme)!
I had 7 bridal party members (not including the guys and flower girl). I choose my older sister as my maid of honor, DH's sister as my matron of honor (her and I are really close), my younger sister as a Bridesmaid (later labeled as Sister of Honor), 2 cousins bridesmaids and 2 friends.
My older sister is a resident at Jersey Shore Medical Center and is NEVER around. She has work ALL THE TIME but it's completely understandable and I was totally ok with it, especially since she would come home to help with me my wedding dress and picking out invites. PLUS, I figured I had a Matron of Honor. I got engaged January 2009 and planned to get married Sept 2010. I asked my FSIL to be my Matron of Honor pretty much right after we got engaged. She was 5 months shy of her wedding. She excepted but apparently thought I wasn't going to plan my wedding until after hers.
FSIL wanted me to wait until after her wedding to plan our wedding. The excitement of the planning quickly became non-exitent. I didn't really talk about getting married around DH's family and had to hid anything I actually did do with my family (since they were asking me when I was going to get things done...we all have some OCD in my family). In March my friend (a bridesmaid) got engaged. It was so nice to talk about weddings with her, except she didn't really share the whole wedding planning, it was more about hers but that's how it is SUPPOSED to be when you get engaged...I just wasn't allowed.
So FINALLY my FSIL gets married and I think I can finally start planning my wedding. Well 2 days after FSIL wedding, another one of my friends gets engaged. Our engagement is now old news and the excitement is completely gone. The friend who got engaged in March was getting married in June 2010 and the one who got married after FSIL's wedding was getting married April 2010. Since my wedding was Sept 2010, I was old news and so far away. Now another one of my friends gets engaged in August (the last one of my friends to get engaged) and plans for her wedding 2 weeks before mine. THEN, my cousin gets engaged in October 2009 and plans her wedding a month after mine. The first 2 friends and the 1 cousin are all bridesmaids.
Recap: FSIL wouldn't let me plan wedding until after hers and then told me everything was too far away to worry about it. 2 friends and cousin were really wrapped up in their weddings that NO ONE helped me.
The friend that got married in April made my life a living hell!!!! From the time she got engaged until, well she still does and I wish she wasn't a bridesmaid. She didn't help with ANYTHING, always made me and my other friend feel like our weddings didn't matter or where in a lesser class then her, BASHED FSIL the WHOLE time even after I kept asking her to stop. FSIL and I resolved the whole 'don't plan your wedding thing' and I look past it because eventually she got excited, it just happened to be like 3 months before the wedding. Anyway, my 'friend' was even giving my SIL dirty looks at my wedding.
My younger sister is in a program for audiology and didn't have time to help.
That leaves me with 1 bridesmaid. She was a HUGE help! Everyone else did not help me with ANYTHING!!! When I asked they always had an excuse, even after their weddings. If I could do it all over now I would have a completely different bridal party! The one bridesmaid who bashed SIL was a b*tch on 2 feet and still is! She didn't smile in ANY proof pictures and looks miserabe half the time. One of my friends kept telling me to kick her out but I felt bad, I wish I did!
So what I have to say to future brides is pick your bridal party VERY carefully. Also, I was scared I would come off as a Bridezilla so I didn't demand anything or speak up for myself with Bridesmaids or vendors...learn from my mistakes...DON'T DO THIS!!! Don't worry about being a Bridezilla! Even the most laid back bride someone will call Bridezilla, just don't take it to an extremem.
I hated my wedding planning and I hated my wedding (not because anything went wrong - because it didn't - except my dress bustle kept falling and I couldn't breathe because my seamstress s*cked)! I planned it perfectly, but a person standing up next to me made me so mad the whole day. She was completely useless the day of the wedding and I NEVER saw her once we got to the hall! She even invited her husband into my bridal suite while we were waiting for the guests to go into the ceremony room (she's one of those people who thinks her relationship is perfect and she lets everyone know that).
ANYWAY, this post is long enough and I would be happy to explain more and answer any questions, I just hope no bride has to go through what I went through. If you want to kick out a BMs, DO IT! If you want to scream at someone, DO IT (but not to an extreme)!
