Crazy story...what would you do?

i would quietly leave. i wouldn't make a scene, i wouldn't fight, i wouldn't yell (i'd cry behind closed doors) but i would leave.

this is how i walked away from my first marriage (he didn't cheat on me, he hit me while i was pregnant). i packed a bag and went to my mother's. two days later, when i had some help, i went back (while he was at work) and i packed up all my belonging. i, then, left my copy of the house key on the kitchen counter. never went back. i was heart-broken and i cried A LOT, but i was done.

that is what i think i would do, only because i did something similar once before. i have too much $h!t in my life to take on an extra burden like that. he made the decision to live with the consequenses when he slept with the other person.

jmho

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Posted by libby2595

i would quietly leave. i wouldn't make a scene, i wouldn't fight, i wouldn't yell (i'd cry behind closed doors) but i would leave.

this is how i walked away from my first marriage (he didn't cheat on me, he hit me while i was pregnant). i packed a bag and went to my mother's. two days later, when i had some help, i went back (while he was at work) and i packed up all my belonging. i, then, left my copy of the house key on the kitchen counter. never went back. i was heart-broken and i cried A LOT, but i was done.

that is what i think i would do, only because i did something similar once before. i have too much $h!t in my life to take on an extra burden like that. he made the decision to live with the consequenses when he slept with the other person.

jmho

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That's so sad that you were ever hit. Good for you for being a strong woman.

As for the friend, it's a tough situation because they have a child together. It may be worth trying to stay together. Honestly, I don't think I could. I would spend every day torturing my husband for what he did to me. There was a Dr. Phil about a woman who tortured her hubby for cheating- screaming, yelling, bashed his car. That would be me

I would definitely leave him. I think I could forgive someone more if they came clean themselves rather than getting caught. I would never be able to forget that he lied to me for YEARS!

I hope your friend is happy with whatever she decides to do!!!!! I hope she makes the right decision for her and her family and is happy in the end!

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Posted by libby2595

i would quietly leave. i wouldn't make a scene, i wouldn't fight, i wouldn't yell (i'd cry behind closed doors) but i would leave.

this is how i walked away from my first marriage (he didn't cheat on me, he hit me while i was pregnant). i packed a bag and went to my mother's. two days later, when i had some help, i went back (while he was at work) and i packed up all my belonging. i, then, left my copy of the house key on the kitchen counter. never went back. i was heart-broken and i cried A LOT, but i was done.

that is what i think i would do, only because i did something similar once before. i have too much $h!t in my life to take on an extra burden like that. he made the decision to live with the consequenses when he slept with the other person.

jmho

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I don't know that I'd be able to stay either. I've been through my share of heartaches, abuse etc, and to have something of this nature happen to me and me find out AFTER we got married, would eat me up inside.

I give her alot of credit...because I know she's really hurting...but she wants to try and work things out. I wish her the best..but I really feel once a cheater..always a cheater. He only cried because he got caught. Aside from that...I doubt he would have cared if she found out or not.

I have another friend who isn't married but has been w/this man for years and they have a child together as well. They''ve been engaged over 7 years..and he is NO better than my other friends husband. I don't care if he's a great father or not...if he can't keep his 'sargeant' in his pants..then he doesn't deserve to be with her either...but I've learned my lesson when it comes to this stuff w/my friends. They come to me for advice and when I give it..they do the complete opposite or look at me as if I am crazy. I guess because in the past my relationships weren't great..but now that they see a complete change I guess it's hard for them to accept that I just may know what I'm talking about.

I would NEVER stand for cheating, ESPECIALLY if it was right be4 the wedding.
How does someone do that?
OMg, I don't know, I never had to go through this with DH and pray to god I never have to, because he told me from day 1 he'd be the most loyal guy I ever had, and even tho he fibs about things here and there and bs'es (alittle) his way out of things, the 1 thing I Know he would never do is cheat on me. i've had bf's cheat on me, and it *****!
i really don't know what to say. my logic is 'once a cheater always a cheater' but if ur girlfriend and Him can work things out, then I'd say go for it and be a very good friend to both of them.
How does your girlfiend feel about the affair? Does she still want to stay with him?

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Posted by MrsBrags7706

I would NEVER stand for cheating, ESPECIALLY if it was right be4 the wedding.
How does someone do that?
OMg, I don't know, I never had to go through this with DH and pray to god I never have to, because he told me from day 1 he'd be the most loyal guy I ever had, and even tho he fibs about things here and there and bs'es (alittle) his way out of things, the 1 thing I Know he would never do is cheat on me. i've had bf's cheat on me, and it *****!
i really don't know what to say. my logic is 'once a cheater always a cheater' but if ur girlfriend and Him can work things out, then I'd say go for it and be a very good friend to both of them.
How does your girlfiend feel about the affair? Does she still want to stay with him?

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To be honest with you, I was even surprised she told me this..because they know what I've been through in my past, and I won't stand for it, child or no child involved. I'd rather be alone than with someone who can't be faithful.

I know she's hurt..she said there are times she looks at him and wants to hurt him, but she wants to try and make it work. I think she's more worried about what her family will think because they JUST got married in May, they helped pay for the wedding (her family) and basically he sh***ed on all of them. I think she's embarressed as I would be.

I wouldn't be able to stay. Why would he get married-what was the point if he had ALREADY cheated on her before the wedding.

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Posted by Mitabtrfly

To be honest with you, I was even surprised she told me this..because they know what I've been through in my past, and I won't stand for it, child or no child involved. I'd rather be alone than with someone who can't be faithful.

I know she's hurt..she said there are times she looks at him and wants to hurt him, but she wants to try and make it work. I think she's more worried about what her family will think because they JUST got married in May, they helped pay for the wedding (her family) and basically he sh***ed on all of them. I think she's embarressed as I would be.

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I guess I would feel the same way.
I mean, I got married in July, and I guess I would feel ashamed and embarassed that less that 1 year, he cheated.
Maybe I would work it out. I don't know. Honestly. I pray to God I never have to worry or come across a situation like this. I understand any women loves their DH and would want to stay with them, and I, myself can never ever picture my life without my DH, but I don't know, cheating is the worst possible thing . . . I pray I never come across a situation like this. I don't think alot of us will, but....I think as long as your there for her, everything will be fine. I just can't even imagine the hurt she must feel.
I hope this guys mistress gets her *** kicked!

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Posted by ssdbk

I'm not sure exactly what I'd do but have never been one to accept deceit or lying. Also, after finding out something like that, I would not accept my DH's side of the story as true. For all we know, he stalked the other girl to no end.

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This could be true as well...that's why I know I wouldn't be able to stay with him. I honestly hope things work out for them...but at this point the only people who know what they want to do are them. I can only wish them luck.

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Posted by snydl40

I wouldn't be able to stay. Why would he get married-what was the point if he had ALREADY cheated on her before the wedding.

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Because he KNEW what he had..most men who do these things are the MOST selfish individuals around. I know I told her had it been the other way around, he would have been out the door in a minute. That is what is amazing about cheating. It seems like it's ok for men to do it, but when a woman does it...oh lord...the world is gonna end.

The sad part is that most men also use the excuse 'I wasn't getting any' ..oh give me a break!! Yes sex is important, but it's not the MOST important thing in your relationship. If you can't talk to your future wife, or fiance about things that bother you, or if you are UNBELIEVABLY jealous... then you DEFENITELY do not need to be getting married. I've found that most people who are the jealous type are that way for a reason. Either they've done something they regret later , or are about to do something, or they are just sick..

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Posted by ssdbk

I'm not sure exactly what I'd do but have never been one to accept deceit or lying. Also, after finding out something like that, I would not accept my DH's side of the story as true. For all we know, he stalked the other girl to no end.

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ok now we're making this thing out to be a lifetime movie!

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Posted by Mitabtrfly
Because he KNEW what he had..most men who do these things are the MOST selfish individuals around. I know I told her had it been the other way around, he would have been out the door in a minute. That is what is amazing about cheating. It seems like it's ok for men to do it, but when a woman does it...oh lord...the world is gonna end.

The sad part is that most men also use the excuse 'I wasn't getting any' ..oh give me a break!! Yes sex is important, but it's not the MOST important thing in your relationship. If you can't talk to your future wife, or fiance about things that bother you, or if you are UNBELIEVABLY jealous... then you DEFENITELY do not need to be getting married. I've found that most people who are the jealous type are that way for a reason. Either they've done something they regret later , or are about to do something, or they are just sick..

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Yes, I 100% agree. Men think its ok for them to do anything. . . and get away with it. Like they can cop an attitude w/ us but GODFORBID, I cop and an attitude w/ him, OMG, its like what have I done
? I've insulted the king!
I also firmly believe then men don't neccessarily cheat because they want to, but because THEY CAN! which is still just disgusting....
I think that, no, sex is not the most important thing, but when DH and I talk about it [because he was my first, so I was alittle unexperienced, shall we say, when we first started, he told me that no it wasn't the most important thing, but its a BIG thing. Blah blah whatever to that. I mean i can understand his point....
But also if he;s lied about this, what else has he lied about? When it comes to cheating, and abuse, thats where I would draw the line. . . but its SO hard to say because its not me so it would be so easy for me to say 'oh i would leave him in a heartbeat,' but then when the time came, i dont know honestly what i would do . . . i'd still love him, but i'd be hugely disgusted, dissapointed, hurt, ect ect.

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Posted by MrsBrags7706

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Posted by ssdbk

I'm not sure exactly what I'd do but have never been one to accept deceit or lying. Also, after finding out something like that, I would not accept my DH's side of the story as true. For all we know, he stalked the other girl to no end.

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ok now we're making this thing out to be a lifetime movie!

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Why? Because I'm saying that maybe there was a reason that this girl went to get an order of protection? Sorry, but if I just learned that my DH cheated on me, then the next blow was that the girl was trying to get an order of protection, I would not readily believe my DH when he said that it's only because the other woman is crazy. I'm not 'making this out' to be anything.