So we are doing our mock guest list and just got his mother's invite list and am waiting for my mother's list. Right now we are at 194, the problem is we only want 150....no more than that, we are paying for this wedding on our own and have to have a cut off point financially...which ***** but it has to happen...WHERE DO YOU START CUTTING? I keep looking at the list like I don't even know who to cut....and then the parents, I have to ask them to consider who they can cut, it isn't rude for me to ask each family to cut some people?
SusiBtoM
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Re: Cutting the Guest List...opinion and rant....
Start by cuting those that are just casual aquaintances. Since you and FH are paying for the wedding, limit the number of guests that both sets of parents can invite. They can invite close family and close friends. Not all the neighbors. Limit those from work. Invite single people without a guest.
Look at the guest list closely and ask youself if you want each guest to take part in your special day.
If you are planning on a 'B' list, then order a separate set of RSVP cards with a later RSVP date, say maybe two weeks later than for the 'A' list. This way you can send out 'B' invites as you get no responses from your 'A' list. Just don't let anyone know that there are two lists. It causes a lot of hurt feelings.
Everyone's response rate is different. We sent out invites for 206 guests, and will have 154 to 156 attending.
emomma17
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Re: Cutting the Guest List...opinion and rant....
Thank you, that is good advise. I've started putting B next to some of our guests and the whole date thing I was going to say if by the time we send out invites some of these people don't have significant others I am going to invite them without dates. My FH is in the volunteer FD and that list alone is killing us and a lot of them are single and I have them with guest so hopefully that will cut the number back. The RSVP card is a good idea though and will def. do that when the time comes.
emcheung
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Re: Cutting the Guest List...opinion and rant....
i don't think it's rude to have your parents and his parents start cutting their guest list. and then look through your own list and see who you can cut as well. a little bit here and there definitely helps.
snwb08
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Re: Cutting the Guest List...opinion and rant....
we're paying too and don't want to invite more than 150. I cut off the parents' sides, no people I never heard of - and now both parents are inviting like 3-4 couples MAX. next I'll cut some of FH's b-list friends (his suggestion) and my co-workers, if necessary. Also am only inviting family with guests and close friends with longterm signif others. If we're paying for it, I think we should be able to cut where we want. Co-workers are the hardest for me b/c I'm definitely inviting some and not others, and I work in a small office. [drama!] but who cares - it's YOUR wedding. good luck.
PeteysBride
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Re: Cutting the Guest List...opinion and rant....
Cut the aqquaintances as someone else suggested and cut the guests. Thats what we did. i know some peopel consider it tacky but if you have a good enough relatiosnhip with them you can say the truth; we want you to come but we have to shave a lot of corners so we are only inviting serious couples. No offense intended. We are just broke! Most people get that especially because most of us pay for our own weddings now. Just sterss you REALLY want them there. Just cannot cover casual dates and you should be ok. If we hadn't, we'd have had 200+ people.
emomma17
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Re: Cutting the Guest List...opinion and rant....
Posted by PeteysBride
Cut the aqquaintances as someone else suggested and cut the guests. Thats what we did. i know some peopel consider it tacky but if you have a good enough relatiosnhip with them you can say the truth; we want you to come but we have to shave a lot of corners so we are only inviting serious couples. No offense intended. We are just broke! Most people get that especially because most of us pay for our own weddings now. Just sterss you REALLY want them there. Just cannot cover casual dates and you should be ok. If we hadn't, we'd have had 200+ people.
Yeah you are totally right. I mean my work people I have a list but I feel bad not inviting one and then the other but I really think that is what I have to do and be like I am so sorry but we are just paying for everything on our own and it is just tough to have everyone there. And some are single I feel bad inviting them without dates but I think I am going to have to and let that be it. It's either them feel bad or me be in financial wedding debt for years to come!
emomma17
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Re: Cutting the Guest List...opinion and rant....
Posted by snwb08
we're paying too and don't want to invite more than 150. I cut off the parents' sides, no people I never heard of - and now both parents are inviting like 3-4 couples MAX. next I'll cut some of FH's b-list friends (his suggestion) and my co-workers, if necessary. Also am only inviting family with guests and close friends with longterm signif others. If we're paying for it, I think we should be able to cut where we want. Co-workers are the hardest for me b/c I'm definitely inviting some and not others, and I work in a small office. [drama!] but who cares - it's YOUR wedding. good luck.
Thank you this really helps because it is just the feeling bad part that does it to you. I know I am going to have to cut work people but that will just have to be. I have a greek mother who invites a cartel and I don't know half of them so I am going to have to work with her, his mother gave us 34 people total and I told my FH that we are going to have cut on that list too it just has to.
RadiantBride
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Re: Cutting the Guest List...opinion and rant....
I went through this and still am. Right now my list is at 284 and you do NOT want to get to that. Invite single people without guest. Ask both family sides to cut the list to xx number.
Look over your list and see if there is anyone which you don't need to have on your wedding date.
also some people which you were close to 5 years ago doesnt necessarily mean that you are close to them now.
Good luck
autumnbride10
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Re: Cutting the Guest List...opinion and rant....
FH and I decided not to invite any of our co-workers. This is saving big $$$. Besides, with our jobs, we move from dept to dept every year, and our co-workers are constantly changing. I have been at my job for 2 years, and have close friends here, but I just can't afford them. Not too mention that I probably will not be working here 5 years from now. I would hate to look at the pics 20 years down the line, and be like 'What was that girl's name again?' I KNOW she worked with me....
