Day of pics stress (sorry, long)

Okay, I'm feeling really stressed about a situation that really shouldn't be a big deal. We've planned since day one to come back to FIL's house to take pics after the church. They have an amazing waterview and beautifully landscaped property. The problem is that many other family members (aunts, uncles, cousins etc) want to go back there in btwn church and reception...we unfortunately have a 3 hour break. I understand that they need somewhere to go, but at the same time, I really don't want to take pics with an entourage. Usually the bridal party gets to go somewhere alone. I think it'll be chaotic and distracting not only for us, but the photographer. My FILs don't want the crowd either, but at the same time won't say no b/c they feel obligated.
BTW, these are not out of towners, just people who don't want to drive back home in between.

So, my solution, which I thought was a pretty good one, was to have a hospitality suite at the hotel. Just a room people can go with cookies, tea and coffee.It's not just for his family, but all others that will be displaced. If all three sides chip in, it's a very small amt of money. My mom thinks it's a great idea, but FH's parents think it's not necessary. So, now we're back at square one with a million people looking over my photographers shoulders as she takes pics.

Any advice? Am I being silly?

Unless you know that these people are very intrusive, for some reason, you probably won't even notice them while you're taking pictures.

I wouldn't worry yourself about it. Just let the day flow.

I totally agree with you, but the problem is many family members may not want to go or even chip in.

Why don't you tell the photographer to tell them that he needs spece, they are in his light etc.

Also, who you want in pics etc.

Mine warned us that he will tell family members 'where to go' with our permission.


They have a job to do and do not want any back seat drivers.

You are in a tough spot.

Good Luck!

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Posted by Regal Beagle

I totally agree with you, but the problem is many family members may not want to go or even chip in.

Why don't you tell the photographer to tell them that he needs spece, they are in his light etc.

Also, who you want in pics etc.

Mine warned us that he will tell family members 'where to go' with our permission.


They have a job to do and do not want any back seat drivers.

You are in a tough spot.

Good Luck!

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Thanks. We wouldn't ask the extended family to chip in, just our parents and us, since it's all of our friends and family that will be potentially using the suite.
It's just turned into a yucky situation, b/c I feel like if i tell his parents that I really don't want people around (even though they agree, but for different reasons) I sound like a total biotch, or worse, bridezilla.

Can a relative offer up their house for the between time ?
Offer to cater in coffee, danishes, cookies and bages so the homeowner won't be put out. You can also hire a waitress for a few hours to help set up, serve and then clean up.

If everyone still goes to your FIL's house, then cater in food so it is less stress for your FMIL.

Also, ask your photog to tell the guests to remain indoors during the outdoor photo shoot, so that they do not hamper the shoot in any way. The guests can always watch thru the windows without getting in the way.

Sounds better if coming from the photog instead of from you guys.

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Posted by SusiBtoM

Can a relative offer up their house for the between time ?
Offer to cater in coffee, danishes, cookies and bages so the homeowner won't be put out. You can also hire a waitress for a few hours to help set up, serve and then clean up.

If everyone still goes to your FIL's house, then cater in food so it is less stress for your FMIL.

Also, ask your photog to tell the guests to remain indoors during the outdoor photo shoot, so that they do not hamper the shoot in any way. The guests can always watch thru the windows without getting in the way.

Sounds better if coming from the photog instead of from you guys.

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Thanks! If they come, I'll definitely have the Photog or my DOC keep people away. That's a good suggestion.
I offered to send over trays of crackers and cheese, sodas, etc., but FILs want to take care of it. OY, I just wish everyone would realize they it would be easier on FILs and us if they went somewhere else. I hate looking the bad guy (or girl).

Think about the waitress, though.

Years ago, a friend of my mom's who was not invited to my sis's wedding offered to help set up coffee and stuff for the between time. Sucha nice gesture, and it saved my mom a lot of stress and worrying about the cleanup.

honestly, don't stress about it... i would never imagine that people would follow you to take pictures (i've never seen this at least) and everyone is grown-ups and should be able to entertain themselves for 2 or 3 hours (receiving lines take longer than you think)

Though i do adore the idea of the suite....