Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

Jordan Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:20 PM

Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

Do any of you have that one 'friend' who seems to be doing *everything* you are - down to your dress, flowers, etc??? You shared your ideas with her and now suddenly they are her ideas?

How do you deal with it?? With the lies, the story telling??

August2004 Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:28 PM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

oh my !!!! Do I have one !!! I was just thinking about this today. The jewelry I was going to get, she suddenly has. Pretty much anything she has for her wedding, she has snatched the idea off me and then pawned it as her own when telling others. Down to her fi's wedding gift. See, my problem is I am too nice and sharing with my ideas(because I am excited about them of course). At first, I just thought I was being sensitive but several of coworkers have pointed it out to me as well(we work together).

Now I don't tell her anything because I notice she always sucks me dry for ideas and never throws them back my way.

I think it is all a jealousy factor. from day one when I got engaged she has never been happy for me. She told me my photographer was to expensive, my dress was to expensive, everything I choose I am overpaying for according to her. Well, this is what I can afford and if it is more than her and I feel someone's work is worth it, I will pay for it. I chalk it up old fashioned jealousy. I mean why else would you always ask someone what something costs them only to bash them for it all the time. Please !!!

Ignore the girl and I am sorry for my long vent !!!

allure Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:38 PM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

Maybe she happens to have the same taste as you
I mean she couldnt possibly do the same exact thing as you,every wedding is different.
Maybe you should elope so knowone knows anything

Jordan Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:42 PM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

Posted by teach2be

oh my !!!! Do I have one !!! I was just thinking about this today. The jewelry I was going to get, she suddenly has. Pretty much anything she has for her wedding, she has snatched the idea off me and then pawned it as her own when telling others. Down to her fi's wedding gift. See, my problem is I am too nice and sharing with my ideas(because I am excited about them of course). At first, I just thought I was being sensitive but several of coworkers have pointed it out to me as well(we work together).

You have described my situation almost to a T. I had friends point things out - without even knowing the girl. And I kept shrugging it off - defending her, actually! LOL I am such a sucker!

I think it is all a jealousy factor. from day one when I got engaged she has never been happy for me. She told me my photographer was to expensive, my dress was to expensive, everything I choose I am overpaying for according to her. Well, this is what I can afford and if it is more than her and I feel someone's work is worth it, I will pay for it. I chalk it up old fashioned jealousy. I mean why else would you always ask someone what something costs them only to bash them for it all the time. Please !!!

EXACTLY! Trash me and my choices - after I gave you all this info. Then try to throw it back at me and say that my conceit is what is getting the better of me - not the *fact* that a 'friend' just insulted me with her unsolicited opinion. On MORE than one occassion!

Ignore the girl and I am sorry for my long vent !!!

I do - something triggered me tonight...it's my own fault. But don't apologize for the vent.

Jordan Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:44 PM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

Posted by allure

Maybe she happens to have the same taste as you
I mean she couldnt possibly do the same exact thing as you,every wedding is different.

LOL That's EXACTLY what I used to say to my friends when they would point things out...but it started getting creepy - and this was way before the wedding planning started.

butterfly20 Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:47 PM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

when she is copying everything that you do, its more than just a coincidence...

i probably wouldnt tell her anything, if anything tell the mutual friends first, so they know your idea, or let it be a secret, the girl will have to come up with her own ideas then...

AtticaQT Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:49 PM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

I have experienced this exactly!! This girl used the exact dresses that I wanted for my bridesmaids - and is thinking of using my exact same invite - granted no one would know becuase the guests lists dont really coincide, but I DO!! I spend a lot of time doing wedding research and have invested a lot into it - I truly enjoy it and love sharing my ideas - but dont copy mine- especially when your wedding is BEFORE mine.

Honeslty - just dont talk about your plans with her anymore.

deedee Posted: Mar 10, 2004 11:19 AM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

Who's wedding is first? Her's or your's?
If your wedding is first I would take it as a compliment. If her's is first I'd beat her up!

edited to say: only kidding LIW...

eroxgirl Posted: Mar 10, 2004 11:42 AM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

Posted by Jordan

Do any of you have that one 'friend' who seems to be doing *everything* you are - down to your dress, flowers, etc??? You shared your ideas with her and now suddenly they are her ideas?

How do you deal with it?? With the lies, the story telling??

No I don't but honestly, you look amazing in that gown - so unless she has the same exact body, she probably won't look half as good!

Bebalina Posted: Mar 10, 2004 11:46 AM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

I know what u mean, I have a friend getting married a month after me,, and I was worried that mite happen, so I dont tell her too many details, the only thing we're have the same so far is the church, and photographer thats it..

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 10, 2004 11:46 AM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

.....more crazy gene...........

Donna Posted: Mar 10, 2004 11:54 AM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

What I've done is keep my mouth shut. In a matter of 3 weeks there are 4 weddings between friends/family. I have not told any of these brides what I'm doing/choosing, etc.

I figured if anything is duplicated then we KNOW that it's a matter of taste and not copying.

Jordan Posted: Mar 10, 2004 11:57 AM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

deedee - mine is first. Really, to be honest, I don't let it bother me. I really just have to laugh at the pathetic situation...and no, I don't tell her anything anymore - but I did say enough early on. Shame on me. Something just set me off last night - I had a momentary lapse of reason

Posted by eroxgirl

No I don't but honestly, you look amazing in that gown - so unless she has the same exact body, she probably won't look half as good!

Omg, you are too sweet. Thank you so much!

cfd28 Posted: Mar 10, 2004 12:05 PM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

I'm having the same exact problem. My FH's older brother got engaged 2 months after us and is getting married before us -
We've already pretty much planned everything - So my FBIL's finance is taking my ideas. I don't tell her anything anymore, but the problem is that my FMIL does. The situation has caused so much tension with my FH's side of the family - I have to find a way to not let it bother me- any ideas?

lilqtny Posted: Mar 10, 2004 04:23 PM

Re: Dealing With 'Copy Cats'

I don't know I recently posted about the same thing a friend of mine booked my two top choice halls, one for her engagment and one for her wedding and i am so sad about this I don't knwo what to do. I know its not good but I hold all my emotions in and let them bother me, Id rather not lose a friend, esp her. But it hurts and stresses me out.