A very close family member is a lesbian. She wants me to invite her partner's family from OOT to the wedding so that the families can 'get to know each other'. She thinks they will say yes.
If i do it, it will cost me close to $1000 for their plates, an extra centerpiece, favors, etc. I'm not about to dish out money for people I don't know -- even if she pays I feel weird about it. This is my wedding -- not a 'gettting to know you'. I thought about offering to invite the partner's mother (no dad in picture) but not the rest of the crew.
On one hand, I feel like what the 'F' but on the other hand I feel bad because she can't legally marry here in New York and maybe a little part of her wishes it was her wedding.
What would you tell her, if you were me?
bluegreen08
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I agree that this is your wedding, not a family reunion. She could have another event if she would like all of the family to meet. I think it would be very generous of you to invite her partner's mother -- not necessary, but if you can swing it it's a nice gesture.
Annoulak
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I think you should explain it to her exactly like you explained it here...that it's your wedding not a family reunion and you'd feel very awkward if she pays for the extra people.
FutureMrsCarrieri
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Posted by bluegreen08
I agree that this is your wedding, not a family reunion. She could have another event if she would like all of the family to meet. I think it would be very generous of you to invite her partner's mother -- not necessary, but if you can swing it it's a nice gesture.
that's exactly what I thought too
MrsMorgan
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Tell her HELL NO!...people are so inconsiderate and only think of themselve....this is your day and she shouldn't have even asked such a question.....
chrispar
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Honestly I think that is a lot to ask of you.
Kimbalina
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Posted by MrsMorgan
Tell her HELL NO!...people are so inconsiderate and only think of themselve....this is your day and she shouldn't have even asked such a question.....
AGGREED!!!!!
Sharron70
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Awww heII no!!!! While you may feel bad for her (I would too), where does she get off asking such a thing? And it has nothing to do with her orientation - it would be no different than if a 'straight' cousin asked you to invite her BFs family because they never met your aunt and uncle! I mean, really!
sophisticat13
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You're so thoughtful to even consider her request (she probably thinks this too which is why she asked in the first place) but OMG I personally think that is so wrong of her to ask you!! You have no obligation to invite them and you obviously don't know them well enough to have invited them yourself. It's your day, not a family reunion, and I would explain it to her in a very sweet but firm way that it isn't something you feel comfortable with etc (exactly the way you told us)! Good luck-let us know what happens!
Snowflake08
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i would politely explain that it is your wedding - not a place for you to 'host' their getting to know each other party
Two Peas
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I agree with the other girls...Your wedding should not be the forum for her to 'get to know' her partners parents. That should be done in a more intimiate setting...Explain to her because of finanical restrictions and that you aren't comfortable with it unfortunately you can't do it. You should not feel bad...I think your friend should not have put you in such an awkward position and as a true friend would understand if you said no!
Mici n KC
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Your wedding is not the place for the families to meet and greet. If she wants them to meet, it should not be on your dime! I think it's very selfish of her to ask no matter how close you are to her. It's not right.
wundmoretime
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I agree too. It was inappropriate of her to ask. Just let her know that you can't make the rooom for that many people.
jaep129
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Um no. Tell her if she wants the families to meet to have a BBQ at her place. This is your wedding not hers!
snowcutie82
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i would say no also. its nice that you considered it. and even if this has been the only request so far, consider what you would do if other people started making similar requests. if u say yes to one, you leave yourself open to saying yes to other things. so better to just say no.
we are only inviting guests to our wedding that we are personally connected to and who will be there to celebrate our marriage and life together etc.
mariaobride
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I think it would be weird inviting people for the sake of having parents meet- they should arrange that on their own time
