Dear _____________,

Dear Co-Worker,

How come for the past year when you where planning your wedding we all had to be 'understanding because you where stressed?' We all had to deal with you crying regularly, fighting with your now DH, & you screaming at your vendors because you where a complete bridezilla. Not to mention that you almost got fired on numerous occasions because you can't manage to get to work on time, EVER. Everyone has to walk around on pins & needles because you are like a ticking time bomb about to explode. We are all sick and tired of it.

Sincerely,
The Rest of The Staff

PS. grow the hell up

Dear Mosquitos,

You really freaking suck for biting me four times on my left arm, once on my left thigh and then three times on the right side of my face!!! What the HELLL is wrong with you?!?! Am I that tasty?? DIE!

Very Loathingly Your's,
Becca

Dear Rosalind_75


you are an idiot!!!!!!!! you did not put your shih tzus water bottle in her crate the right way. so she had no water to drink all day yesterday and because of that she had a tummy ache and did her business in her crate. get it together a*sshole!!!! youve had her for almost 3 years!!!!!!!!!

Dear co-worker,

Are you seriously CRYING because you left your Blackberry at home?

Really?

Really.

Not to mention that today you're leaving at 2:00 for a dental appointment anyway...so you'll have your precious device in your hands in only a few hours.

I can't believe you're shedding tears over this.

Jerk.

Signed,
Your exasperated co-worker.

---

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

Dear co-worker,

Are you seriously CRYING because you left your Blackberry at home?

Really?

Really.

Not to mention that today you're leaving at 2:00 for a dental appointment anyway...so you'll have your precious device in your hands in only a few hours.

I can't believe you're shedding tears over this.

Jerk.

Signed,
Your exasperated co-worker.

---

this one takes the prize.

Dear Photographer,

I am dyyyyyingggg to see my e-pic teasers. You said I might get some by last night, but you haven't sent them yet!! The suspense is killing me!

-me

Dear head:

Please stop aching. I have been nice to you and even given you advil but still you continue to ache.

The pained one

Dear Niko (My african gray parrot),

I know you love me, but is it really necessary to start screaming my name at 6:05 in the morning while you are still covered with your sheet? You know I will uncover you once I am awake. Screaming 'HAROULAAAAAAAAAAA', making the telephone noise and answering it with 'HELLO' (in my dad's voice) or saying 'SAGAPO' (Greek for I love you) or 'SHUTUP NIKO' really won't make me get up any faster.....

pleaseeeee wait until I get up at 6:45 and uncover you to begin going through all the words you know.....mommy is cranky in the morning.

Love,
your loving mother

dear pimple

while im very happy you decided not to appear on my face, your location of IN MY NOSE is really unpleasant and painful.

Please take this as yoru evictoin notice and be out within 12 hours and NEVER COME BACK

Thanks
MGMT

Dear guy sitting next to me on the LIRR,

Did you really think if you sat in between two seats on a full train in the 6 seater would keep me from making you move over so I could sit. Then you pretend at first not to hear me when I said excuse me can I please sit....Seriously!!! You are like 5'5 not 6'6 that you need the leg room and if that was the case you should stand.

Sincerely,

Fellow LIRR Commuter

Dear Lazy Couple,

Please start working on your invites for your OCTOBER 23RD wedding!! I recently learned that you have not even started to address them. This is really rude, especially since your wedding is on a Friday and your guests need to know what time it starts so they can put notice in at work. At the very least, tell your own mother what time the ceremony starts so she can pass the word on to us!

Dear Cake Topper Designer,

I pre-ordered my cake topper in July and then you told me your shipment was late and that I would have to wait until September. Fine, no problem.

Now you want to ask if I would mind waiting for the next shipment in October because you want to make sure all your Sept. brides get their toppers. How about you order double the amount next time.

I paid in July. I want my topper!!!!!!! I'm sorry Sept. brides, but W T F. My credit card was charged already and I've already paid that bill, so GIVE ME MY TOPPER.

Sincerely,

Pissed Off Bride to Be

Dear GRKBARBIE,

I really am so jealous that you are eating a gyro that I may skip my HEALTHY sandwich that I made last night and go to the greek place and order a gyro.......

thank you because I am sure I will get the fattening french fries on the side as well....along with a large soda

Love,
your fat arse twin

Dear boss and salesman,

I am NOT the only one who works in the office. Please give some work to the other girl, so I can do the work you gave me earlier.

Thanks,

Overworked girl…

Dear Pita pan

I came to your grand opening a few weeks ago and ordered a whole bunch of shyt. i was aDOLLAR short of getting a free pizza. Noone bothered to tell me. NO PROBLEM, i'll let that 1 slide. I get home all excitedddddddddd, i go to bite into my gyro and i find a piece of LATEX in my food. I casually tossed the latex in the trash and continued eating. NO PROBLEM.

Fast fwd to today. I ordered 3 effin sandwhiches. NOT that DIFFICULT..right???????? when you ask me if i want tzatziki or TAHINI in my falafel sandwhich and i tell u TAHINI, why on gods greeen effin earth do u put HUMMUS?!!!

it is the dryestt sandwhich i have ever tastedd in my life. KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i look fwd to visiting you guys sooncuz im a suckaa

your #1 customer

Fatty McFatterson

---

Posted by grkbarbie

Dear Pita pan

I came to your grand opening a few weeks ago and ordered a whole bunch of shyt. i was aDOLLAR short of getting a free pizza. Noone bothered to tell me. NO PROBLEM, i'll let that 1 slide. I get home all excitedddddddddd, i go to bite into my gyro and i find a piece of LATEX in my food. I casually tossed the latex in the trash and continued eating. NO PROBLEM.

i look fwd to visiting you guys sooncuz im a suckaa

your #1 customer

Fatty McFatterson

---

lmaooooooo she writes no problem after finding latex -- lmaooooo

Dear Throat-
Please stop hurting- I dont want to be sick this weekend!!

Sincerely,
me

Update to my earlier Dear ______ post:

Dear Co-worker,

Thank you for leaving at 1:20, feigning illness, because I was sick of your dumb azz sobbing over your forgotten Blackberry.

I'd rather have extra work for the rest of the day than hear you sob uncontrollably about it.

You s uck!

Dear FBIL,

Yeah, i get it, you have a huge chip on your shoulder because I told you that you were worthless a couple weeks ago. You kind of are though. You work here at your family's business and you only know how to do one thing out of about 1248623856 things! You refuse to answer the phone and you're obnoxious when it comes to learning new things. I took payroll away from you because you got an attitude when it came to adding a new employee. GROW the EFF up! Speak to people like a human being and remember that your parents are not going to hand you this business if you don't know anything about it. Peace out Fukker.


Dear FMIL,

It would have been nice if you weren't so lenient and ABSENT with your youngest son when he was growing up. Do you have any idea what he does in his spare time? No? Well I do and it's not pretty. I figure he's comic book guy from The Simspons in training. That's the best description. OH AND how about accepting responsibility for something, ANYTHING for once? Work AND family related? No, of course not.

Sometimes I really can't stand the 2 weakest parts of FH's family. There! I said it!

Dear FSIL...

Grow up!!