i have a few...
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Dear coworkers/boss',
Please give in and pay to have the heat fixed! it is FREEZING in here and wearing a coat isn't that comfortable when you're typing all day.
You all seem to think that by wearing a coat and thick turtleneck sweaters that its ok that my fingers turn purple.
signed,
the future mrs. FREEZE
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Dear Desks,
Please stop forcing my BAD knee to smack into you on a daily basis, my knee is messed up as it is, it doesn't need you 'jumping' out and smacking into it, please forward that message to the desk at BBB where that one also jumped and smacked into me last night.
signed,
the knee buster
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Dear MOH,
please get over whatever your issue is with me... or at least tell me what it is I did... talking to me on facebook or via text message then ignoring and avoiding my phone calls is sending mixed messages. You've been my best friend for 20 years I think I'm owed some kind of explanation as to why you refuse to talk to me verbally.
signed,
your confused BFF
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Dear Cablevision,
please kiss my arse! you IDIOTS have no idea what you are doing, do you? I call you last thursday to order a DVR box because once again you've taken more channels away and my father has been going nuts not having cable in his room... so I decided to give him my box and pay a little extra for a DVR so I don't have to be so old-school using TAPES and a VCR! now you promised me it'd take 1-2 days to ship... meaning I would have gotten it Saturday.. MONDAY the latest.. but no, it comes on tuesday... that's ok.. no biggie, my show isn't on until Thursday... but what is this? I hook up my NEW box at 4:20.. leave, come home at 8:14 and its still loading.. ***? so I mess around with it and lucky for you it works... but WHY won't my RECORD button work... HOW ABOUT BECAUSE YOU MORONS PACKED A NORMAL CABLE BOX AND PUT A DVR REMOTE IN THE BOX AND SOMEHOW THOUGHT THAT WOULD MAGICALLY SEEM LOGICAL! So... after figuring that out, I step outside into the cold and call a rep... she is as confused as I am as to how something like that could happen.. but would love to send me a new DVR box without charging shipping, thats her way of apologizing... wow- well considering NOONE has ever charged me shipping.. its not really that great of an offer... UNLESS you overnighted the thing to me... but then she puts me on hold... for TEN minutes... comes back and says 'i have great news... i had to get the ok from my supervisor but we're going to send a tech to your house on thursday so they can hook it up for you'... wow- now isn't that SOOO nice of this girl to NOT realize that PEOPLE WORK AND CAN'T TAKE OFF BECAUSE THE CABLEGUY is coming! so I decline her offer... just to be told that the DVR takes 5-7 business days to ship! SOOO now I'm stuck using the vcr on thursday... w/e.. but I also have to find time to drop off this stupid reg box at a local shop... because I have nothing to do.. oh and if I don't return it within a week from today then i'll get charged.. isn't that oh so sweet of you!?
SIGNED,
the customer considering switching to verizon
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Dear customer,
please don't call me saying 'hey it's tony'... expecting me to know WHICH TONY and WHERE you're calling from.. then when I ask please don't get an attitude with me EVER again!
signed,
the woman who answered your ca(click) - oops disconnected
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Dear wedding vendors,
please stop calling my cell phone during working hours, esp after I request that you call AFTER 4:00... do you seriously not realize that some people work during the day and can't answer or even get personal calls while at work.... is it that hard for you to understand.. I ask that you email me... but no, you call...
STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
signed,
a bridezilla in the making
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ok, i'm gonna go drop these letters in the mailbox now, hopefully they'll reach everyone before I snap!
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